Remember local fairs and Harvest Home festivals where the men would test their strength, the women would compete with pies and home canned goods and the children would enter their prized pigs. This was the beginning of it all. This was when the preparations for that final festival would begin. Ohh how I miss those days. Welcome to Lughnasadh, the beginning of Harvest Home.
Tomorrow is Lughnasadh or Lammas, the first of three Harvest festivals, with the other two being Mabon (or Autmnal equinox) and Samhain (Halloween). So what do you plan on doing?
Lammas literally means 'loaf mass'. Breads were baked, feasts were tended to and thanks were given for the bounty of the harvest. In some traditions this was a festival that lasted 30 days, the 15 days before Aug. 1st. and the 15 days after. In Ireland, known as Lughnasadh, this was a day of 'gaming' and contests, first harvests as well as a fire celebration of the Sun God Lugh.
I can honestly say it's too dang hot here to be dancing round a fire!
For today's modern pagan, this day is still held in honor as many families choose to have family reunions and gatherings. Even the Christian church uses this day as a day to bless the fields.
A simple way to celebrate this holiday is to bake some bread, cake or even muffins! Corn is a bigger deal in the U.S. then wheat so consider making some cornbread! (add cheese and jalapenos too!)
Or you can always just 'eat' some instead of baking it!
Have a meal with family and friends and keep it simple. Hot dogs, corn muffins and ice cream to cool everyone off would be a fabulous thing to do.
Don't make celebrations so 'by the book' that they are not enjoyable. This was a festival to revel in, much of the physical hard work for a long winters survival was now over. There was food from the mother to eat and save by. Our ancestors were glad of this, they cooked, baked and reveled in it. So should you!
Since it is so hot here in the south that even dancing round a fire at midnight would bring chaos to a heat flashing crone we will be celebrating with pizza, cake and ice cream at noon tomorrow! (we are combining this with my daughters 27th birthday) Tomorrow night I do plan on baking some corn muffins and sugar pumpkins as part of my celebration meal.
Don't forget to honer the earth mother for the food she has provided, the womb in which she grew it and know that she is getting ready for a rest until next year when she will birth again food which sustains us.
HAPPY LUGHNASADH!
The Crone of Corn muffins and Pumpkin
Sage
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Muffin Tops and more
The Dementor and I went to town yesterday to do some shopping and general running about.
It was not pretty.
I do so hate to shop with the Dementor, he's sullen and always questioning what I buy. If it's an extra dollar, he's bitchin'. I repeat, I hate to shop with my Dementor.
Did you know Dementors are also misers? Oh yes, never doubt that. Cheap, pinch-fist, penny pincher, scrooge, skinflint, cheapskate, tightwad and all the other words you can think of to indicate someone who does not want to spend money, bitches when you do spend money and questions everything you spend money on. NOTE: Everything YOU spend money on..but not him. Some days it's worse.
Anyway
We did our running about and stopped off for lunch at a local fast food chain. After ordering our meal (having to correct the young lady preparing it, twice), we sat down to eat. Nearing the end of our lunch another young lady came into the establishment and walked up to the counter to order her lunch. At first I didn't notice her, but when she pranced about in front of the counter long enough, I glanced up as she was walking by.
SHOCK! (blink, blink)
Now, I've heard of being "melted and poured into your jeans" and I've heard of 'skinny jeans', not to mention a few other terms to describe 'tight fitting' jeans, but this girl took the cake.
I don't know how she was breathing.
Not only were her jeans so tight (you couldn't have fit 'air' between her and the material) but she was 'puffin' over the top much more then the average 'muffin top' ..it was more like a pound cake top.
She was bulging all the way to her neck! I'm sure she had to lay on the bed and suck it in for an hour before she got those things zipped up..I kid you not!
Her top..it was designed to be as thin, as see through, as fall off the shoulders as it could be and still classified as a top.
You could tell all these clothes were 'new', not garbage clothes, not rag bag clothes...but new. Designer type.
Sad part about all this, she thought she looked good! You could tell by the way she was prancing. Trust me when I tell you it was far from attractive.
It hit me like a brick shit house at that point.
WHY is it, boys and men wear clothes so big and low, 'bustin' a sag' as they call it showing their underwear to the world ..
(I've seen it bad enough that they are wearing a belt around the top of their thighs to hold up their pants) ..
but girls and women do exactly the opposite and wear clothes so tight they can barely breath??
You wanna talk about major cameltoe going on here..
WHERE do they learn their fashions sense?
Cuz they missed the boat!
Why in the world do they believe this is attractive? Who has mislead our youth today? WTH?
I've said it before and I'll say it again, (just so you guys will KNOW)
I am a fat southern women, but there is no way in this world I would go out of my house looking like this girl did yesterday. For starters, I'm not going to be 'uncomfortable' for the sake of anyone much less a 'fashion statement'...piss on that. Secondly.. I like to breathe thankyouverymuch.
I'll say it again, like I've said a thousand times "Where are we going and why are we in the handbasket?"
Nuff said.
The Crone of Fat jeans
Sage
It was not pretty.
I do so hate to shop with the Dementor, he's sullen and always questioning what I buy. If it's an extra dollar, he's bitchin'. I repeat, I hate to shop with my Dementor.
Did you know Dementors are also misers? Oh yes, never doubt that. Cheap, pinch-fist, penny pincher, scrooge, skinflint, cheapskate, tightwad and all the other words you can think of to indicate someone who does not want to spend money, bitches when you do spend money and questions everything you spend money on. NOTE: Everything YOU spend money on..but not him. Some days it's worse.
Anyway
We did our running about and stopped off for lunch at a local fast food chain. After ordering our meal (having to correct the young lady preparing it, twice), we sat down to eat. Nearing the end of our lunch another young lady came into the establishment and walked up to the counter to order her lunch. At first I didn't notice her, but when she pranced about in front of the counter long enough, I glanced up as she was walking by.
SHOCK! (blink, blink)
Now, I've heard of being "melted and poured into your jeans" and I've heard of 'skinny jeans', not to mention a few other terms to describe 'tight fitting' jeans, but this girl took the cake.
I don't know how she was breathing.
Not only were her jeans so tight (you couldn't have fit 'air' between her and the material) but she was 'puffin' over the top much more then the average 'muffin top' ..it was more like a pound cake top.
She was bulging all the way to her neck! I'm sure she had to lay on the bed and suck it in for an hour before she got those things zipped up..I kid you not!
Her top..it was designed to be as thin, as see through, as fall off the shoulders as it could be and still classified as a top.
You could tell all these clothes were 'new', not garbage clothes, not rag bag clothes...but new. Designer type.
Sad part about all this, she thought she looked good! You could tell by the way she was prancing. Trust me when I tell you it was far from attractive.
It hit me like a brick shit house at that point.
WHY is it, boys and men wear clothes so big and low, 'bustin' a sag' as they call it showing their underwear to the world ..
(I've seen it bad enough that they are wearing a belt around the top of their thighs to hold up their pants) ..
but girls and women do exactly the opposite and wear clothes so tight they can barely breath??
You wanna talk about major cameltoe going on here..
WHERE do they learn their fashions sense?
Cuz they missed the boat!
Why in the world do they believe this is attractive? Who has mislead our youth today? WTH?
I've said it before and I'll say it again, (just so you guys will KNOW)
I am a fat southern women, but there is no way in this world I would go out of my house looking like this girl did yesterday. For starters, I'm not going to be 'uncomfortable' for the sake of anyone much less a 'fashion statement'...piss on that. Secondly.. I like to breathe thankyouverymuch.
I'll say it again, like I've said a thousand times "Where are we going and why are we in the handbasket?"
Nuff said.
The Crone of Fat jeans
Sage
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
They only come at night
NOT TRUE! Ok, Sometimes I get confused but it's ok. Let's discuss Night Sweats.
Every article or post I've seen on menopausal women separate 'hot flashes' and 'night sweats'. Why is that? They are not any different. They are one in the same thing, just one happens during the day and one happens at night.
So why do they categorize them differently? It makes no sense to me but hey, if they want to add another item on the long list of symptoms, go right ahead.
Symptoms? They say this like it's a bad thing or that you're deathly ill with some mysterious other worldly disease! This is a natural process.
(or so I keep telling myself)
This is mother natures way of telling you your breeding days are over!
(not to mention a few other things!)
Quite honestly, my breeding days were over YEARS ago. My children are 30 (come November) and 27 (this week). When my youngest was 3 the hubby had his..let's just say he was 'fixed'. Many years later when my youngest was 11 *I* was fixed. Hence I have not been able to breed in over 16 years. I beat mother nature to the punch.
Nuff said on that.
Back to 'night sweats'..otherwise known as 'power surges when the lights are out'........:)
These are no different then the ones you have during the day save the fact that it will bring you out of a sound sleep. You will start tossing and turning, rolling and moaning. You'll wake to find you are burning up and sweating like apig old crone. (do pigs really sweat?)
You'll fling the covers off and wish the hell it was snowing in your room.
Sleep? No such animal. You'll punch the pillow as if it was your enemy, and try to lay back down, then you'll throw it away from you it cuz it's hot. You'll roll to a cooler section of the bed and it will heat up faster then a nuclear meltdown. To top it all off, you'll have to pee.
Just for a moment you'll think you've already done that because your sheets are soaked.
You're too tired to get up and change your sheets, matter of fact your too tired to get up to pee, so you'll lay there, hoping the urge will go away.
Nay nay, not so. Mother nature says "GO!" and out the bed you come.
If you'll remember, back in my first post (who I am) I mentioned powder? Oh yes, now's the time. As you sit on the throne you will start to cool down. The urge to take a shower will be high on your list of priorities right now, but depending on the time, ignore this and instead reach for "THE PUFF".
(I urge each and every one of you to purchase powder and a puff. Comes in it's own little box, with puff and will be worth it's weight in gold to you. I refill my little box with basic baby powder)
THE PUFF will become part of your daily routine. A blessing that you will partake in more then once a day! Powder is magical!
Rise from your throne oh queen of the puff and proceed to douse yourself in the magical benefits! Puff under the boobs, in the pits and between the legs. Lift up any 'sagging' places (fluffy areas) and puff away.
(and trust me, I have plenty of fluffy areas!)
Stand there and feel the glory of it all, the wonder of powder!
Now you can try to go back to bed, and sometimes you will succeed in sleep, sometimes not so much but I can guarantee you this..you will feel MUCH MUCH better. Like a silken sweat ladenpig old crone at least!
Enjoy the puff it has magical properties.
The Crone of the PUFF & fluffy areas,
Sage
PS: This post was brought to you by a sweat laden, fluffy crone (But I'm SILKEN!) who could not go back to sleep and rose at 4am. Sucks man.
Every article or post I've seen on menopausal women separate 'hot flashes' and 'night sweats'. Why is that? They are not any different. They are one in the same thing, just one happens during the day and one happens at night.
So why do they categorize them differently? It makes no sense to me but hey, if they want to add another item on the long list of symptoms, go right ahead.
Symptoms? They say this like it's a bad thing or that you're deathly ill with some mysterious other worldly disease! This is a natural process.
(or so I keep telling myself)
This is mother natures way of telling you your breeding days are over!
(not to mention a few other things!)
Quite honestly, my breeding days were over YEARS ago. My children are 30 (come November) and 27 (this week). When my youngest was 3 the hubby had his..let's just say he was 'fixed'. Many years later when my youngest was 11 *I* was fixed. Hence I have not been able to breed in over 16 years. I beat mother nature to the punch.
Nuff said on that.
Back to 'night sweats'..otherwise known as 'power surges when the lights are out'........:)
These are no different then the ones you have during the day save the fact that it will bring you out of a sound sleep. You will start tossing and turning, rolling and moaning. You'll wake to find you are burning up and sweating like a
You'll fling the covers off and wish the hell it was snowing in your room.
Sleep? No such animal. You'll punch the pillow as if it was your enemy, and try to lay back down, then you'll throw it away from you it cuz it's hot. You'll roll to a cooler section of the bed and it will heat up faster then a nuclear meltdown. To top it all off, you'll have to pee.
Just for a moment you'll think you've already done that because your sheets are soaked.
You're too tired to get up and change your sheets, matter of fact your too tired to get up to pee, so you'll lay there, hoping the urge will go away.
Nay nay, not so. Mother nature says "GO!" and out the bed you come.
If you'll remember, back in my first post (who I am) I mentioned powder? Oh yes, now's the time. As you sit on the throne you will start to cool down. The urge to take a shower will be high on your list of priorities right now, but depending on the time, ignore this and instead reach for "THE PUFF".
(I urge each and every one of you to purchase powder and a puff. Comes in it's own little box, with puff and will be worth it's weight in gold to you. I refill my little box with basic baby powder)
THE PUFF will become part of your daily routine. A blessing that you will partake in more then once a day! Powder is magical!
Rise from your throne oh queen of the puff and proceed to douse yourself in the magical benefits! Puff under the boobs, in the pits and between the legs. Lift up any 'sagging' places (fluffy areas) and puff away.
(and trust me, I have plenty of fluffy areas!)
Stand there and feel the glory of it all, the wonder of powder!
Now you can try to go back to bed, and sometimes you will succeed in sleep, sometimes not so much but I can guarantee you this..you will feel MUCH MUCH better. Like a silken sweat laden
Enjoy the puff it has magical properties.
The Crone of the PUFF & fluffy areas,
Sage
PS: This post was brought to you by a sweat laden, fluffy crone (But I'm SILKEN!) who could not go back to sleep and rose at 4am. Sucks man.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Hair you are!
On one of my recent posts, I mentioned 'face hair'. Now, on the hope that mother nature does not hear me, let's talk about wild hair growth.
Yep, I said that, the dreaded 'stray' wild hair.
I feel it safe to say, I don't CURRENTLY have the problem of the random wild facial hair.
(crossing herself, lighting an incense and hopping on one foot in hopes that mother nature will not make her sorry and add the 'wild hair curse' to her plight!)
HOWEVER!
Where I do have the random wild hair is on my leg, the upper back of my leg to be specific.
I guess there are some things you should know before I delve into this topic. I don't shave the top of my legs.
(matter of fact, I try not to shave the bottoms either!.......shhhh..don't tell anyone k?)
Ok..now you know, I don't shave the top of my legs...and you may be asking 'why'?
Reason is, I have very little hair there. Mind you, when I was a teenager it was a different story.
(I had my share AND someone else's!)
That upper leg hair faded as I got older (and I was glad of it!) By the time I was in my mid 30's it was near gone or gone enough for me not to concern myself too often with trying to eradicate it.
(I very rarely concern myself with eradicating any of my hair nowadays! except by fire apparently!)
SO, ..can someone explain to me why for the last several years, I have found the random wild "LONG" single black hair on the back of my upper legs? WTH!
You know how it happens.
You may be putting lotion on, or shoot even just rubbing your hands along the leg due to an itch and you feel 'something'. You think it might be a hair from your head that got caught in your fingers or the lotion so you grab and pick for all your worth to get it off you and it won't come! You pull harder....OUCH!
With complete awe you realize..it's attached! You stretch it out and 'oh my gawd'........it's HUGE long!
(blink, blink)
This one hair is about 3 or 4 inches long! (WTH?) and you wonder why you didn't notice it two or three days ago!
(I think it's some sort of magic and grows overnight!)
I yank it out, examine it closely to see if I can spy any magical appearance, I mean, it's not sparkly or anything!
(Just imagine, if it were magical....I'd yank all the hair off me!)
(sigh) It's just a hair, a long one, black and it was floating around back there for however long and you didn't know it?
That's embarrassing.
Crone of the one hair leg
Sage
Yep, I said that, the dreaded 'stray' wild hair.
I feel it safe to say, I don't CURRENTLY have the problem of the random wild facial hair.
(crossing herself, lighting an incense and hopping on one foot in hopes that mother nature will not make her sorry and add the 'wild hair curse' to her plight!)
HOWEVER!
Where I do have the random wild hair is on my leg, the upper back of my leg to be specific.
I guess there are some things you should know before I delve into this topic. I don't shave the top of my legs.
(matter of fact, I try not to shave the bottoms either!.......shhhh..don't tell anyone k?)
Ok..now you know, I don't shave the top of my legs...and you may be asking 'why'?
Reason is, I have very little hair there. Mind you, when I was a teenager it was a different story.
(I had my share AND someone else's!)
That upper leg hair faded as I got older (and I was glad of it!) By the time I was in my mid 30's it was near gone or gone enough for me not to concern myself too often with trying to eradicate it.
(I very rarely concern myself with eradicating any of my hair nowadays! except by fire apparently!)
SO, ..can someone explain to me why for the last several years, I have found the random wild "LONG" single black hair on the back of my upper legs? WTH!
You know how it happens.
You may be putting lotion on, or shoot even just rubbing your hands along the leg due to an itch and you feel 'something'. You think it might be a hair from your head that got caught in your fingers or the lotion so you grab and pick for all your worth to get it off you and it won't come! You pull harder....OUCH!
With complete awe you realize..it's attached! You stretch it out and 'oh my gawd'........it's HUGE long!
(blink, blink)
This one hair is about 3 or 4 inches long! (WTH?) and you wonder why you didn't notice it two or three days ago!
(I think it's some sort of magic and grows overnight!)
I yank it out, examine it closely to see if I can spy any magical appearance, I mean, it's not sparkly or anything!
(Just imagine, if it were magical....I'd yank all the hair off me!)
(sigh) It's just a hair, a long one, black and it was floating around back there for however long and you didn't know it?
That's embarrassing.
Crone of the one hair leg
Sage
Friday, July 22, 2011
What day is it?
It's was one of those days.
At 6 AM this morning all I wanted to do was go back to bed, I had only been up 30 minutes!
This is yet another of the lovely gifts that Mother Nature will bestow upon you during the Crone stage of life, the gift of HABAFS.
(my term..what can I say)
What does HABAFS stand for? Head ache, body ache, feel shitty. HABAFS pronounced "hay-bafs".
HABAFS is when you open your eyes in the morning and the first thing to run through your mind is an icepick! You've got a booming headache and you haven't even lifted your head yet.
As you begin to rise..something is wrong, you can't! You're sore all over and you don't know why?
WTH?
After shuffling to the bathroom it took all my energy just to rise from the throne! Five minutes later and a quick break on the bed as I passed by, coffee was in the making.
This was a day to go back to bed..bad thing is you can't, won't and it wouldn't do any good anyway because you usually can't sleep! ARGHHHH!!!
These are the days when the old commercial comes to mind about " It's not nice to fool with mother nature"! She had her spell on me today!
Needless to say I accomplished very little. I did do some sewing and about three, 15 minute naps. Other then that I craved salad. Convinced the Dementor to go to Ruby Tuesday's for their Salad Bar and Mini combo for a late lunch early dinner. Since then I've done nothing but delve into the deep recesses of blogger.
I think my DIL had it right when she said "someone left the gates of hell open" because it's been just about too hot to breathe if you were outside. All in all, trying to look on the bright side of things, I did get my craft area back in order and did get some patches sewed on a vest and I did get to eat dinner out..hey pretty good for having a HABAFS day!
I will say that there was a small while there that I was totally 'off'. Kept dropping things, and nothing was going right. While on the phone with my daughter she made me realize I had missed my 'morning ritual'. She assured me this was probably why everything was awry. She could have been right. After I got off the phone and did my little morning ritual, things did get better. Although the headache never went away.
Maybe tomorrow will be better. :) G'night to all the Crones out there, have a great weekend!
The Crone of HABAFS and Salad,
Sage
At 6 AM this morning all I wanted to do was go back to bed, I had only been up 30 minutes!
This is yet another of the lovely gifts that Mother Nature will bestow upon you during the Crone stage of life, the gift of HABAFS.
(my term..what can I say)
What does HABAFS stand for? Head ache, body ache, feel shitty. HABAFS pronounced "hay-bafs".
HABAFS is when you open your eyes in the morning and the first thing to run through your mind is an icepick! You've got a booming headache and you haven't even lifted your head yet.
As you begin to rise..something is wrong, you can't! You're sore all over and you don't know why?
WTH?
After shuffling to the bathroom it took all my energy just to rise from the throne! Five minutes later and a quick break on the bed as I passed by, coffee was in the making.
This was a day to go back to bed..bad thing is you can't, won't and it wouldn't do any good anyway because you usually can't sleep! ARGHHHH!!!
These are the days when the old commercial comes to mind about " It's not nice to fool with mother nature"! She had her spell on me today!
Needless to say I accomplished very little. I did do some sewing and about three, 15 minute naps. Other then that I craved salad. Convinced the Dementor to go to Ruby Tuesday's for their Salad Bar and Mini combo for a late lunch early dinner. Since then I've done nothing but delve into the deep recesses of blogger.
I think my DIL had it right when she said "someone left the gates of hell open" because it's been just about too hot to breathe if you were outside. All in all, trying to look on the bright side of things, I did get my craft area back in order and did get some patches sewed on a vest and I did get to eat dinner out..hey pretty good for having a HABAFS day!
I will say that there was a small while there that I was totally 'off'. Kept dropping things, and nothing was going right. While on the phone with my daughter she made me realize I had missed my 'morning ritual'. She assured me this was probably why everything was awry. She could have been right. After I got off the phone and did my little morning ritual, things did get better. Although the headache never went away.
Maybe tomorrow will be better. :) G'night to all the Crones out there, have a great weekend!
The Crone of HABAFS and Salad,
Sage
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Is it hot in here?
About 10 years ago I started reading about menopause. Pre, post, peri and apocalyptic! I fooled myself then thinking 'this stuff will never happen to me', I was too strong a women for this garbage..
(boy was I naive and stupid).
For some, it never really happens or if it does, it's so minor they hardly notice. They ride through menopause on their brooms of 'nopause' and laugh mockingly in the face of anything to do with 'meno'. I applaud them, I envy them and I wish like hell I was one of them.
(then I curse their brooms to fly into a tree!)
Mother nature has seen to it though, that I am earning my comeuppance about the whole sordid affair.
And for all you younger whippersnapper witches, beware, it WILL happen to you..laugh now and mother nature may show you just who's queenbitch witch.
Let's start with one of the more 'obvious' signs of a Crones stage of life.
Hot Flashes: Call them what you will, hot flashes, power surges, heat waves or as Victorian ladies once called them "hot blooms'... they are a literal pain in the ass!
(The following description of surges are how *I* experience them, It may not be the same for you. )
Mine are so bad right now, if I could bottle these things I know I'd be able to heat the entirety of the eastern seaboard for a least one full winter.
Some women have only one or two 'surges' a day, sister crones, I have 3 or 4 an hour some days!
They start somewhere in the middle (no promise there, cuz I've felt them come from the knees up!)
It begins with a sudden feeling of falling, or as if every nerve you have just took a slight jolt of electricity. It's a split second of time, but feels like a lifetime! Sometimes this will happen 2 or more times just for good measure.
Immediately you know "oh shit ..here it comes" and do your level best to prepare for the next 5 to 15 minutes of living in hell. (literally)
It wells up like a Mount Vesuvius eruption; hot molten lava!
It rolls up your body, making your heart pitter patter, your pulse races and your ears start to burn!
Oh my gawd, has there been an epic solar flash? Armageddon? A Nuclear blast perhaps?!
You feel like Annie Oakley packin' heat!
Finally it gets to your head and face and you swear you're going Super Nova!
Your ears and cheeks turn red and suddenly....you feel like Linda Blair in the Exorcists screaming
"It BURNS! It BURNS!"
Then your head spins around (just like Linda Blair) and Old Faithful erupts all over you in massive outpourings of sweat.
Now you have to move, you have to get up from whatever it is you're doing to escape the heat that is radiating off your body. You begin to fan yourself.. it does NOT help!
Now is when you start lying.
You feign getting something cold to drink just so you can stick your head in the freezer and pray for relief. You hope like hell nobody catches you...and when they do you stammer and mutter something about a lost earring and stick your head back in there!
Then the hussy in you will come out.
You'll start stripping! Put on the music and go for it! First the pants, then the shirt..you don't want anything touching your skin. You're significant other will see this and think "Oh..yeah let's get it on" and you'll look at them as if it was THEIR head spinning round!
You might as well start singing the Pussycat Dolls song; "Doncha you wish your girlfriend was 'hot' like me..doncha!"
Cuz sister crones you are gonna be ONE HOT MAMA!
This will continue for about..ohh anywhere from 5-15 minutes. You'll finally feel relief as the burn slows and subsides and all you'll want to do is take a cold shower. It's like you had 'hot sex' for the last 1/2 hour; nerves tingling, heart racing and you may even want a cigarette when it's over, but you got NONE of the pleasure that goes with it..NONE!
You think teenage boys stay in the shower a long time? PFFFT! They got nothing on a menopausal hot flashing crone..understand?
The Crone of Strippers Anonymous
Sage
(boy was I naive and stupid).
For some, it never really happens or if it does, it's so minor they hardly notice. They ride through menopause on their brooms of 'nopause' and laugh mockingly in the face of anything to do with 'meno'. I applaud them, I envy them and I wish like hell I was one of them.
(then I curse their brooms to fly into a tree!)
Mother nature has seen to it though, that I am earning my comeuppance about the whole sordid affair.
And for all you younger whippersnapper witches, beware, it WILL happen to you..laugh now and mother nature may show you just who's queen
Let's start with one of the more 'obvious' signs of a Crones stage of life.
Hot Flashes: Call them what you will, hot flashes, power surges, heat waves or as Victorian ladies once called them "hot blooms'... they are a literal pain in the ass!
(The following description of surges are how *I* experience them, It may not be the same for you. )
Mine are so bad right now, if I could bottle these things I know I'd be able to heat the entirety of the eastern seaboard for a least one full winter.
Some women have only one or two 'surges' a day, sister crones, I have 3 or 4 an hour some days!
They start somewhere in the middle (no promise there, cuz I've felt them come from the knees up!)
It begins with a sudden feeling of falling, or as if every nerve you have just took a slight jolt of electricity. It's a split second of time, but feels like a lifetime! Sometimes this will happen 2 or more times just for good measure.
Immediately you know "oh shit ..here it comes" and do your level best to prepare for the next 5 to 15 minutes of living in hell. (literally)
It wells up like a Mount Vesuvius eruption; hot molten lava!
It rolls up your body, making your heart pitter patter, your pulse races and your ears start to burn!
Oh my gawd, has there been an epic solar flash? Armageddon? A Nuclear blast perhaps?!
You feel like Annie Oakley packin' heat!
Finally it gets to your head and face and you swear you're going Super Nova!
Your ears and cheeks turn red and suddenly....you feel like Linda Blair in the Exorcists screaming
"It BURNS! It BURNS!"
Then your head spins around (just like Linda Blair) and Old Faithful erupts all over you in massive outpourings of sweat.
Now you have to move, you have to get up from whatever it is you're doing to escape the heat that is radiating off your body. You begin to fan yourself.. it does NOT help!
Now is when you start lying.
You feign getting something cold to drink just so you can stick your head in the freezer and pray for relief. You hope like hell nobody catches you...and when they do you stammer and mutter something about a lost earring and stick your head back in there!
Then the hussy in you will come out.
You'll start stripping! Put on the music and go for it! First the pants, then the shirt..you don't want anything touching your skin. You're significant other will see this and think "Oh..yeah let's get it on" and you'll look at them as if it was THEIR head spinning round!
You might as well start singing the Pussycat Dolls song; "Doncha you wish your girlfriend was 'hot' like me..doncha!"
Cuz sister crones you are gonna be ONE HOT MAMA!
This will continue for about..ohh anywhere from 5-15 minutes. You'll finally feel relief as the burn slows and subsides and all you'll want to do is take a cold shower. It's like you had 'hot sex' for the last 1/2 hour; nerves tingling, heart racing and you may even want a cigarette when it's over, but you got NONE of the pleasure that goes with it..NONE!
You think teenage boys stay in the shower a long time? PFFFT! They got nothing on a menopausal hot flashing crone..understand?
The Crone of Strippers Anonymous
Sage
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Venus has spoken!
And you know what she said?
"Get a hair cut and stop playing with fire!"
Woah! Yep, that's what she said alright.
(Let me explain.)
It was with eager anticipation that I walked into the bathroom to began my meditative bath. I stood over the tub ready to start the 'Venus Connection' and took a hard look at the object of my desire, the tub. I gave a light 'blow' into the abyss and dust flew back at me. "Hmm..this needs some work. It has surely been a long time!". There was even a dead spider in there! "EGADS!"
I began the process. First off, music then to cleaning the tub, or should I say 'de-dusting' the tub? Once the tub was clean, I started running the bath. I reached to the back of the tub where all the 'beauty' items were on display (and trust me, display is all they were by this time) found some wonderful bath salts in a lovely glass jar and sprinkled some in. (a gift from 1 of 5)
Now for bubbles. I looked, searched and moved things about but alas, there were no bubbles to be had. What does a modern crone witch do in a case such as this? Crones improvise! I grabbed some lavender shampoo and gave it a big squirt into the running water. Two for good measure.
"OH LOOK! BUBBLES!"
(Bubble bubble toil and trouble is what I should have started singing, but I still had 'Venus stars' in my eyes.)
I ran about the house gathering the other supplies I would need for this luxurious relaxing, warm bubble seduction. "Hmm..phone just in case it rings, wine glass, wine bottle, pen and paper for messages from the other side ..OH! Rose oil...and oh yes..candles! I must have candles! I grabbed up some tall wrought iron (imitation I might add) candle holders.."oh look, candles already in place...how convenient!" I gave them a blow off too..puffs of dust billowed forth. "hmm..oh well, dust burns" and onward to the bathroom I went gathering the last few supplies on my way.
A book to read just in case Venus decided not to speak to me, my cigs (yes I smoke..I'm supporting america..hush!) Matter of fact, I needed to open a new pack, my old pack was empty so I grabbed a new pack from the top of the fridge, the small ashtray and my lighter.
All this was starting to be more like work then a glorious revelation!
I now had all the needed loot and off to the bathroom I fluttered. The tub was 1/2 full and the bubbles were billowing.
Laying out all the gathered booty, I placed the candles around the tub and lit them. As I stepped into the silky warmness of the water I found an extra candle at the back of the tub and lit it too. It was shorter then the others, but would help to give me extra light should I need to write or read anything. I felt pleased with my Venus Offerings as I sank lower into a pleasure I had not experienced in many moons. I was two glasses of wine relaxed too. Yeah, this was going to be a good night.
(Little did I know).
The warmth of the water and the pillow of bubbles was intoxicating. I made a plea to Venus asking that she come and share this bath in her honor with me, to take my hand and lead my down the path of learning to love myself again.
It was at this point that the decadence took a bad turn.
Uuhuh..sure did.
(Stop right here.. go to the bathroom now, because I'd hate to know I was responsible for another Crone suffering incontinence ..mmk?)
WINE! I needed to sip some wine in Venus's honor. I sat up, turned and poured some wine to sip. This was a good time to grab a cigarette too so I picked up the pack and opened it taking one out. This is when the ability to 'foresee' the future hit me. In my mind I thought, "would be a bad thing to drop these in the water since you just opened them". Before I finished the thought as I was reaching to lay them out of danger I dropped the whole damn pack into the tub. (sigh).
I grabbed them up, laughed at the ability to see that disaster coming and knowing I could do nothing about it and placed the soaked pack on the sink counter. I lit the one I saved, picked up my glass, put the inconvenience behind me and began the relaxing process.
The warm water enticed me to lay back and enjoy and that's exactly what I did..laid back to meditate.
I think I relaxed a bit too much. I forgot about the candle behind me, the short one that was on the tub....the last candle I lit.
"What's that smell?" I jumped up quick..something was burning! I jerked my head left and right looking for any signs of smoke! At this point I recognized the distinct smell of burning hair! I reached back and realized that my pony tail had gone into the candle behind me. I pulled off a small handful of hair that was no longer attached, the ends curled and shriveled, looking like the Wicked Witch's feet as she disappeared under the house once her ruby slippers were removed!
"OHMYGAWD!" I reached again and found more strands frizzled and fried, pulling them off and adding them to the crunchy pile accumulating at the edge of the tub.
I sat dumfounded. How in the hell could I DO that! I mean I knew I was intending to get it cut SOON..but GEE! All in all it wasn't much hair, really. Not anything more or less that doesn't come off when I shampoo it, but REALLY! I mean did Venus have to tell me to love myself and to get a hair cut in THIS fashion!
(PUHLEASE! Talk about drastic! and getting your point across!)
I'm also SURE the spirits are telling me to leave flames alone! Period! Let's think about this...the first circle and the carpet burn, and the second circle and a bigger carpet burn, then leaving out today with an altar candle still aflame and finally tonight? !!! Nuff said..Now it's getting personal!
Ok, so here I am, burnt hair and soaked cigarettes..what's a crone to do? Well, you finish up what you started that's what.
After moving the offending candle I did lay back to relax and meditate. Thirty minutes later, the fingers were pruned and the bubbles were dead so my time in the tub was up. Of course, I wanted to 'wash' everything so I grabbed up another one of those 'decorative' items I had never used, a homemade bar of soap, again a gift from 1 of 5 and a large all natural loofah sponge that I had purchased a while back but never got the chance to use. It was time to do some sloughing off of the old (even if it was skin).
The soap smelled lovely as I rubbed it across the loofah and began scrubbing up. In my loofah bliss I did not notice right away the little black 'things' floating in the water. Finally something caught my eye and I looked down. Since the soap bubbles were nearly gone I could see small black oval 'things' floating in my tub! "WHAT THE HELL!?" I came to my feet with a quickness!
I stared down at the black spots floating on the water and bent over to closely examined one. Loofah still in hand, I poked at the floater. I didn't see any legs on it so there was no immediate panic. Now I'm wondering WHERE did this come from and what the hell was it!. It was not here a minute ago. I looked at the loofah in my hand, turned it round and peered down inside. There were many more 'black things' inside it.
(I almost threw it.)
Upon closer inspection it dawned on me what they were. "SEEDS! Ohmygawd, It's just seeds!"
(I was relieved!)
However..I think I've had enough decadent Venus Connection and loving myself spiritual awakening time to last until maybe the tub gathers dust again! This was quite enough.
I was done..
Catch you next time:
Crone of Loofah seeds and burnt hair
Sage
"Get a hair cut and stop playing with fire!"
Woah! Yep, that's what she said alright.
(Let me explain.)
It was with eager anticipation that I walked into the bathroom to began my meditative bath. I stood over the tub ready to start the 'Venus Connection' and took a hard look at the object of my desire, the tub. I gave a light 'blow' into the abyss and dust flew back at me. "Hmm..this needs some work. It has surely been a long time!". There was even a dead spider in there! "EGADS!"
I began the process. First off, music then to cleaning the tub, or should I say 'de-dusting' the tub? Once the tub was clean, I started running the bath. I reached to the back of the tub where all the 'beauty' items were on display (and trust me, display is all they were by this time) found some wonderful bath salts in a lovely glass jar and sprinkled some in. (a gift from 1 of 5)
Now for bubbles. I looked, searched and moved things about but alas, there were no bubbles to be had. What does a modern crone witch do in a case such as this? Crones improvise! I grabbed some lavender shampoo and gave it a big squirt into the running water. Two for good measure.
"OH LOOK! BUBBLES!"
(Bubble bubble toil and trouble is what I should have started singing, but I still had 'Venus stars' in my eyes.)
I ran about the house gathering the other supplies I would need for this luxurious relaxing, warm bubble seduction. "Hmm..phone just in case it rings, wine glass, wine bottle, pen and paper for messages from the other side ..OH! Rose oil...and oh yes..candles! I must have candles! I grabbed up some tall wrought iron (imitation I might add) candle holders.."oh look, candles already in place...how convenient!" I gave them a blow off too..puffs of dust billowed forth. "hmm..oh well, dust burns" and onward to the bathroom I went gathering the last few supplies on my way.
A book to read just in case Venus decided not to speak to me, my cigs (yes I smoke..I'm supporting america..hush!) Matter of fact, I needed to open a new pack, my old pack was empty so I grabbed a new pack from the top of the fridge, the small ashtray and my lighter.
All this was starting to be more like work then a glorious revelation!
I now had all the needed loot and off to the bathroom I fluttered. The tub was 1/2 full and the bubbles were billowing.
Laying out all the gathered booty, I placed the candles around the tub and lit them. As I stepped into the silky warmness of the water I found an extra candle at the back of the tub and lit it too. It was shorter then the others, but would help to give me extra light should I need to write or read anything. I felt pleased with my Venus Offerings as I sank lower into a pleasure I had not experienced in many moons. I was two glasses of wine relaxed too. Yeah, this was going to be a good night.
(Little did I know).
The warmth of the water and the pillow of bubbles was intoxicating. I made a plea to Venus asking that she come and share this bath in her honor with me, to take my hand and lead my down the path of learning to love myself again.
It was at this point that the decadence took a bad turn.
Uuhuh..sure did.
(Stop right here.. go to the bathroom now, because I'd hate to know I was responsible for another Crone suffering incontinence ..mmk?)
WINE! I needed to sip some wine in Venus's honor. I sat up, turned and poured some wine to sip. This was a good time to grab a cigarette too so I picked up the pack and opened it taking one out. This is when the ability to 'foresee' the future hit me. In my mind I thought, "would be a bad thing to drop these in the water since you just opened them". Before I finished the thought as I was reaching to lay them out of danger I dropped the whole damn pack into the tub. (sigh).
I grabbed them up, laughed at the ability to see that disaster coming and knowing I could do nothing about it and placed the soaked pack on the sink counter. I lit the one I saved, picked up my glass, put the inconvenience behind me and began the relaxing process.
The warm water enticed me to lay back and enjoy and that's exactly what I did..laid back to meditate.
I think I relaxed a bit too much. I forgot about the candle behind me, the short one that was on the tub....the last candle I lit.
"What's that smell?" I jumped up quick..something was burning! I jerked my head left and right looking for any signs of smoke! At this point I recognized the distinct smell of burning hair! I reached back and realized that my pony tail had gone into the candle behind me. I pulled off a small handful of hair that was no longer attached, the ends curled and shriveled, looking like the Wicked Witch's feet as she disappeared under the house once her ruby slippers were removed!
"OHMYGAWD!" I reached again and found more strands frizzled and fried, pulling them off and adding them to the crunchy pile accumulating at the edge of the tub.
I sat dumfounded. How in the hell could I DO that! I mean I knew I was intending to get it cut SOON..but GEE! All in all it wasn't much hair, really. Not anything more or less that doesn't come off when I shampoo it, but REALLY! I mean did Venus have to tell me to love myself and to get a hair cut in THIS fashion!
(PUHLEASE! Talk about drastic! and getting your point across!)
I'm also SURE the spirits are telling me to leave flames alone! Period! Let's think about this...the first circle and the carpet burn, and the second circle and a bigger carpet burn, then leaving out today with an altar candle still aflame and finally tonight? !!! Nuff said..Now it's getting personal!
Ok, so here I am, burnt hair and soaked cigarettes..what's a crone to do? Well, you finish up what you started that's what.
After moving the offending candle I did lay back to relax and meditate. Thirty minutes later, the fingers were pruned and the bubbles were dead so my time in the tub was up. Of course, I wanted to 'wash' everything so I grabbed up another one of those 'decorative' items I had never used, a homemade bar of soap, again a gift from 1 of 5 and a large all natural loofah sponge that I had purchased a while back but never got the chance to use. It was time to do some sloughing off of the old (even if it was skin).
The soap smelled lovely as I rubbed it across the loofah and began scrubbing up. In my loofah bliss I did not notice right away the little black 'things' floating in the water. Finally something caught my eye and I looked down. Since the soap bubbles were nearly gone I could see small black oval 'things' floating in my tub! "WHAT THE HELL!?" I came to my feet with a quickness!
I stared down at the black spots floating on the water and bent over to closely examined one. Loofah still in hand, I poked at the floater. I didn't see any legs on it so there was no immediate panic. Now I'm wondering WHERE did this come from and what the hell was it!. It was not here a minute ago. I looked at the loofah in my hand, turned it round and peered down inside. There were many more 'black things' inside it.
(I almost threw it.)
Upon closer inspection it dawned on me what they were. "SEEDS! Ohmygawd, It's just seeds!"
(I was relieved!)
However..I think I've had enough decadent Venus Connection and loving myself spiritual awakening time to last until maybe the tub gathers dust again! This was quite enough.
I was done..
Catch you next time:
Crone of Loofah seeds and burnt hair
Sage
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Bathing with Venus
Each day since I've done my re-dedication something has come to me that I need to do.
Especially after finishing my little morning blessing thingy. (which is really simple, I light an incense, a candle and give the day over to the spirits so that they may lead me to see what I need to see or do what I need to do)
I don't 'dwell' on it. Just light it all, sprinkle it all with salt as I'm saying "Show me the path I should take today" and I go on about my business then blow out the candle after about 15 mins. Easy enough right?
Ok, so this morning I do my morning altar blessing and start my day.
First things first I had to run downtown to pick up a long awaited and appreciated item (a treadle sewing machine that's been in my family since 1950)
And bless my forgetful little soul, I had turn around after I got about 5 miles from the house and come back home because I left that altar candle burning.
(I swear, menopause makes you forget all kinds of shit! Wish I could forget to eat! :)
Anyway, as soon as I walked back into the house to blow out that candle
(with questions from the Dementor on why I had a candle burning..yeck.)
A bath came to mind. Yep, a bath.
I have a very large tub, what they call a 'vanity tub' if you will. I USED to regularly take a bubble 'me' meditative bath, bath once a week. That was before Mr. Ebeneezer though. I haven't enjoyed that little ritual in about 3 years.
Ohh..I don't mean I haven't bathed in 3 years!!! I've just been taking showers instead and gave up my little weekly ritual. It's just hard to do when your life seems invaded by a ....a....dementor!
This told me I haven't 'loved myself' in a long time. Sounds egotistical doesn't it? It's not. Venus is the goddess of love and she demands that you love yourself first. Soooo tonight is a Venus night!
I've got my wine started, open and one glass drank. Now it's time to run the tub with some bubbles, add some rose incense (Venus's scent) and some candles and meditate in the tub for a bit.
At least the candles will be surrounded by water this time..no chance of me forgetting or burning the house down by accident!
ENJOY your evening everyone, I'm off to visit with Venus for a bit. Happy Bubbles!
The Crone of bubbles,
Sage
Especially after finishing my little morning blessing thingy. (which is really simple, I light an incense, a candle and give the day over to the spirits so that they may lead me to see what I need to see or do what I need to do)
I don't 'dwell' on it. Just light it all, sprinkle it all with salt as I'm saying "Show me the path I should take today" and I go on about my business then blow out the candle after about 15 mins. Easy enough right?
Ok, so this morning I do my morning altar blessing and start my day.
First things first I had to run downtown to pick up a long awaited and appreciated item (a treadle sewing machine that's been in my family since 1950)
And bless my forgetful little soul, I had turn around after I got about 5 miles from the house and come back home because I left that altar candle burning.
(I swear, menopause makes you forget all kinds of shit! Wish I could forget to eat! :)
Anyway, as soon as I walked back into the house to blow out that candle
(with questions from the Dementor on why I had a candle burning..yeck.)
A bath came to mind. Yep, a bath.
I have a very large tub, what they call a 'vanity tub' if you will. I USED to regularly take a bubble 'me' meditative bath, bath once a week. That was before Mr. Ebeneezer though. I haven't enjoyed that little ritual in about 3 years.
Ohh..I don't mean I haven't bathed in 3 years!!! I've just been taking showers instead and gave up my little weekly ritual. It's just hard to do when your life seems invaded by a ....a....dementor!
This told me I haven't 'loved myself' in a long time. Sounds egotistical doesn't it? It's not. Venus is the goddess of love and she demands that you love yourself first. Soooo tonight is a Venus night!
I've got my wine started, open and one glass drank. Now it's time to run the tub with some bubbles, add some rose incense (Venus's scent) and some candles and meditate in the tub for a bit.
At least the candles will be surrounded by water this time..no chance of me forgetting or burning the house down by accident!
ENJOY your evening everyone, I'm off to visit with Venus for a bit. Happy Bubbles!
The Crone of bubbles,
Sage
The Decks & Cards
Alrighty then here we go.
While in circle last night.......wait. I think it's a wine night. Yep, it is. I'll be right back.
Ahhh a lovely Cabernet Sauvignon (sip) just lovely. And I don't usually do reds in the summer, but I'm all out of whites. (ahem..now where was I? Oh yes..the cards)
The decks that were revealed to me to use were (and I was quite surprised that I was drawn to two decks)
1. The Celtic Oracle Cards and 2. Sacred Path Cards.
The Celtic Oracle were drawn first. Here are the cards in their order that I pulled:
The Cauldron of the Dagda:
The meaning of the card pulled in a reading is this:
Listen to the message of your feelings, do not rationalize. You will not 'go without' or become impoverished.
(this hit home, because it is one of the main reasons I don't say "GET OUT" to my Dementor, I'm afraid of loosing everything, specifically my home.)
NEXT! (sipping wine)
The World Tree:The meaning of this card pulled in a reading is: A new influence will appear as matters of mind and communication are becoming important. A time of conscious has begun and you must try to get a clear overview of your life. Spiritual inspiration is on its way. Awareness will remove all doubt, fear and confusion.
(I sure hope so! sipping wine)
Wow..as I sit here typing, I noticed it's getting darker in here, quickly, like the lights are browning down, but they aren't. Above me is a lamp, one of those lamps you see in libraries all the time with the green glass cover..you know a desk lamp. I look up and notice that green 'shade' started to lower itself and move over the bulb so that it covered my light. WOW..weird.
The Summer Queen:
The meaning pulled in a reading is: She indicates personal success, prosperity and well-being along with good luck. Your plans are reaching fulfillment and your powers of self expression are at their strongest. They will lead to a rich harvest. Look for a mature women to play an important role in this.
Well (sips wine) I can see where this has meaning, especially in 'well-being'..with fruitful results. And sister let me tell you, I can use all the luck I can get! Wonder who the women is? 1 of 5 perhaps?
All in all I was surprised at the cards that were drawn (randomly I might add), they do show what I'm going through at this point. And that I have some good things coming, personal wise. I suppose it says too that the time I have chosen to 'get myself' back is a good one and I'll rise again shortly. (of course writing this all out here does help..sips wine)
Now, onto the Sacred Path Cards (given to me by 1 of the 5 I spoke of in an earlier post..THANK YOU!)
The Warbonnet: The Warbonnet tells you it's time to advance and not retreat backward or stay in the doldrums. I am now able to move on to lifes next mysteries. To take my medicine bundle and charge forward.
(alrighty then! I get this!)
West Shield: The West Shield cards asks you to look at your present goals and how they affect your future. Are the answers you are seeking in life from your 'inner knowing'? Also, the West Shield is the place of all 'tomorrows'. If you are afraid of the unknown, it may be time to clear away the fear. Strength to accomplish this is the greatest medicine of this card. In all cases, the West Shield speaks of ability to complete our goals, to acknowledge inner strength and the power to find and know the answers. Don't let opinions of others limit our ability.
Whirling Rainbow: The Whirling Rainbow tells you to remove any type of discord from your life in order to grow. Don't feed the negativity. Focus energy on creating new beauty and abundance in your life. Do not allow yourself to be caught up in the quicksand of petty tyrants, they are not worthy of your attention and energy. You do not need to take on the issues of others when the discord is due to their lack of unity within themselves.
BINGO again. BIG BINGO on that last one. (big gulp of wine)
The cards were good to me lastnight. All in all they told me I was heading in the right direction, not to fear what I AM fearing, to take my shit and get on with it and to avoid the influence of others as I do so. :) I got it.
Check ya later..
The Crone of Cards
Sage
While in circle last night.......wait. I think it's a wine night. Yep, it is. I'll be right back.
Ahhh a lovely Cabernet Sauvignon (sip) just lovely. And I don't usually do reds in the summer, but I'm all out of whites. (ahem..now where was I? Oh yes..the cards)
The decks that were revealed to me to use were (and I was quite surprised that I was drawn to two decks)
1. The Celtic Oracle Cards and 2. Sacred Path Cards.
The Celtic Oracle were drawn first. Here are the cards in their order that I pulled:
The Cauldron of the Dagda:
The meaning of the card pulled in a reading is this:
Listen to the message of your feelings, do not rationalize. You will not 'go without' or become impoverished.
(this hit home, because it is one of the main reasons I don't say "GET OUT" to my Dementor, I'm afraid of loosing everything, specifically my home.)
NEXT! (sipping wine)
The World Tree:The meaning of this card pulled in a reading is: A new influence will appear as matters of mind and communication are becoming important. A time of conscious has begun and you must try to get a clear overview of your life. Spiritual inspiration is on its way. Awareness will remove all doubt, fear and confusion.
(I sure hope so! sipping wine)
Wow..as I sit here typing, I noticed it's getting darker in here, quickly, like the lights are browning down, but they aren't. Above me is a lamp, one of those lamps you see in libraries all the time with the green glass cover..you know a desk lamp. I look up and notice that green 'shade' started to lower itself and move over the bulb so that it covered my light. WOW..weird.
The Summer Queen:
The meaning pulled in a reading is: She indicates personal success, prosperity and well-being along with good luck. Your plans are reaching fulfillment and your powers of self expression are at their strongest. They will lead to a rich harvest. Look for a mature women to play an important role in this.
Well (sips wine) I can see where this has meaning, especially in 'well-being'..with fruitful results. And sister let me tell you, I can use all the luck I can get! Wonder who the women is? 1 of 5 perhaps?
All in all I was surprised at the cards that were drawn (randomly I might add), they do show what I'm going through at this point. And that I have some good things coming, personal wise. I suppose it says too that the time I have chosen to 'get myself' back is a good one and I'll rise again shortly. (of course writing this all out here does help..sips wine)
Now, onto the Sacred Path Cards (given to me by 1 of the 5 I spoke of in an earlier post..THANK YOU!)
The Warbonnet: The Warbonnet tells you it's time to advance and not retreat backward or stay in the doldrums. I am now able to move on to lifes next mysteries. To take my medicine bundle and charge forward.
(alrighty then! I get this!)
West Shield: The West Shield cards asks you to look at your present goals and how they affect your future. Are the answers you are seeking in life from your 'inner knowing'? Also, the West Shield is the place of all 'tomorrows'. If you are afraid of the unknown, it may be time to clear away the fear. Strength to accomplish this is the greatest medicine of this card. In all cases, the West Shield speaks of ability to complete our goals, to acknowledge inner strength and the power to find and know the answers. Don't let opinions of others limit our ability.
Whirling Rainbow: The Whirling Rainbow tells you to remove any type of discord from your life in order to grow. Don't feed the negativity. Focus energy on creating new beauty and abundance in your life. Do not allow yourself to be caught up in the quicksand of petty tyrants, they are not worthy of your attention and energy. You do not need to take on the issues of others when the discord is due to their lack of unity within themselves.
BINGO again. BIG BINGO on that last one. (big gulp of wine)
The cards were good to me lastnight. All in all they told me I was heading in the right direction, not to fear what I AM fearing, to take my shit and get on with it and to avoid the influence of others as I do so. :) I got it.
Check ya later..
The Crone of Cards
Sage
Dammit..I burned it again..
Yep, I burned the carpet again last night!! ACK!
(oh well, shit happens we move on!...what's the big bad in the bedroom gonna do, take away my birthday?) Pfft.
After my re-dedication the other night and the wonderful workings of the spirits yesterday to rid myself of one moreprick male on the farm, I was pretty sure the spirits were telling me it was time to do some 'reading'.
Card reading that is.
I kept hearing the whispers..you know that little voice in your head that sometimes screams at you?
(Yeah..that one.)
So, with eager anticipation of a card reading in my future and a pure refusal to be domestic yesterday, I hurried through what I 'HAD" to do and prepared nacho's for our dinner. They were YUM.
Apparently Ebeneezer was not pleased with my dinner choice.
(he's all 'southern man' you know, gotta have his meat and potatoes at a meal or I'm being absolutelya bitch lazy and not feeding him properly!)
Sad thing is he didn't 'SAY' anything, but I could tell by the 'attitude' that reeked from every pore he had, not to mention the sullen look on his face that he was none to happy about it. BAH..he'll get over it. He's like me..he can afford to loose a few pounds too.
(who am I foolin' I could afford to loose A LOT!)
As he prepared to leave for work (YAY!) I perused the internet, facebook in particular and sent the link to this site to a few friends & family. Close friends & family. Total-5. What does that tell you?
(I don't get out much.)
Those 5 that I did send the link to mean the world to me, so it was enough. I'd rather have 5 people who mean something to me then 20 who don't. I'll keep my 5 Thankyouverymuch.
Know this in advance, I do not 'chat' via facebook. For some reason yesterday evening though, the 'chat' feature kept logging me in and for the life of me I could not figure out why!
(until later)
BING: I got a message. From one of the very special 5 mentioned above. She's a Witch too. She had read the 'about me' part of this site and we began chatting. I told her much more then I've posted on here
(and I prolly will at a later date)
and she learned a few things about the last 3 years of my life yesterday that she probably didn't want to know.
I released a huge balloon of stuff on her that I probably shouldn't have, but as one of my closest friends and fellow witches, I knew for some reason we had connected on facebook chat this night for a reason.
(The spirits at work again?)
The next thing I know, she is 'channeling' so to speak through her fingers and typing things to me that I needed to hear and understand.
I needed to get my (women) power and my home back. To TAKE it back. I had given it over and Lilith was calling me to take it back. She told me I needed to do a card reading (she did not know I had already planned that) and to do it in circle and call Lilith to me for strength. Ask Lilith to be a guide and a mentor for me for the next season of my life. As soon as possible I needed to do a house & property blessing and banishment. Ok..easy enough on all counts.
We ended up chatting for well over an hour. Remember, I never chat via facebook. I keep that little gem turned off but last night it refused to stay off.
(shrug..go figure).
*Ohh..one thing I must tell you. Once I poured myself out and spoke to my friend she told me this and I couldn't agree more. She said Ebeneezer sounds so much like a Dementor it's scary. She's right, that's exactly what he is and exactly what happens to me when he's about. It's official, I live with a Dementor.
(I hope your a Harry Potter fan!)
Needless to say, when the clock struck 10pm I was kneeling on my living room carpet setting up my circle. I kept things very simple last night but did take into circle all 6 of the various decks I have. I wanted the spirits to guide me in which cards to use.
I skipped the wine ..I was out. (dammit)
At 12:15 I finished my circle, 6 cards chosen, two different decks were used and 3 chosen from each and Lilith was by my side.
How do I know she was by my side?
Well, I was not sure what Lilith may look like, or I wasn't sure until last night, but she did show herself.
Twice.
The first time, I was sitting on the couch feet propped up on the coffee table, studying the meaning of the cards (which I will post later..it's unreal) and I felt something like a cat tail brush under my leg, at the knee.
I do have a cat, but she's an outside cat mostly and she was not in the house. I thought for a split second it might be my dogs ear because she has this annoying habit of laying right underneath me. I jerked my leg up and peered over the edge of the couch.
No cat, no dog. Hmmm?
The second time, I was still studying the cards, and to my left, I saw a LARGE cat, (about the size of a large Bobcat, maybe a wee bit bigger), stroll by in front of my TV.
(Where's my wine!? OH shit, I'm still out!)
It's back half was golden in color and striped in a dark grayish black, with a very large tail. NOT FLUFFY, but large, thick tail, not too long. It's front half was female but still cat like with the striped fur ending about the waist and just the gold continuing up from there until it reached the head, which was again striped with black. She turned and looked at me over her shoulder and was gone. The eyes were big and she appeared to have an almost Cheshire like grin.
(I NEED WINE! Bring me WINE! dammit..where's the tequila?!)
Did this put me at ease?..well, yes and no. Yes, because I knew she was here to guide me and no because if you know the real story of Lilith, she's almost 'bad'. In my life right now though, I need a little bad.
(Besides all that..who the hell wants to see a large spectral cat walking across their living room?? WTH?)
I was up till 3.
I'll post the cards later. After my Dementor goes to work.
Till then.........
The Crone of 'no wine'
Sage.
(oh well, shit happens we move on!...what's the big bad in the bedroom gonna do, take away my birthday?) Pfft.
After my re-dedication the other night and the wonderful workings of the spirits yesterday to rid myself of one more
Card reading that is.
I kept hearing the whispers..you know that little voice in your head that sometimes screams at you?
(Yeah..that one.)
So, with eager anticipation of a card reading in my future and a pure refusal to be domestic yesterday, I hurried through what I 'HAD" to do and prepared nacho's for our dinner. They were YUM.
Apparently Ebeneezer was not pleased with my dinner choice.
(he's all 'southern man' you know, gotta have his meat and potatoes at a meal or I'm being absolutely
Sad thing is he didn't 'SAY' anything, but I could tell by the 'attitude' that reeked from every pore he had, not to mention the sullen look on his face that he was none to happy about it. BAH..he'll get over it. He's like me..he can afford to loose a few pounds too.
(who am I foolin' I could afford to loose A LOT!)
As he prepared to leave for work (YAY!) I perused the internet, facebook in particular and sent the link to this site to a few friends & family. Close friends & family. Total-5. What does that tell you?
(I don't get out much.)
Those 5 that I did send the link to mean the world to me, so it was enough. I'd rather have 5 people who mean something to me then 20 who don't. I'll keep my 5 Thankyouverymuch.
Know this in advance, I do not 'chat' via facebook. For some reason yesterday evening though, the 'chat' feature kept logging me in and for the life of me I could not figure out why!
(until later)
BING: I got a message. From one of the very special 5 mentioned above. She's a Witch too. She had read the 'about me' part of this site and we began chatting. I told her much more then I've posted on here
(and I prolly will at a later date)
and she learned a few things about the last 3 years of my life yesterday that she probably didn't want to know.
I released a huge balloon of stuff on her that I probably shouldn't have, but as one of my closest friends and fellow witches, I knew for some reason we had connected on facebook chat this night for a reason.
(The spirits at work again?)
The next thing I know, she is 'channeling' so to speak through her fingers and typing things to me that I needed to hear and understand.
I needed to get my (women) power and my home back. To TAKE it back. I had given it over and Lilith was calling me to take it back. She told me I needed to do a card reading (she did not know I had already planned that) and to do it in circle and call Lilith to me for strength. Ask Lilith to be a guide and a mentor for me for the next season of my life. As soon as possible I needed to do a house & property blessing and banishment. Ok..easy enough on all counts.
We ended up chatting for well over an hour. Remember, I never chat via facebook. I keep that little gem turned off but last night it refused to stay off.
(shrug..go figure).
*Ohh..one thing I must tell you. Once I poured myself out and spoke to my friend she told me this and I couldn't agree more. She said Ebeneezer sounds so much like a Dementor it's scary. She's right, that's exactly what he is and exactly what happens to me when he's about. It's official, I live with a Dementor.
(I hope your a Harry Potter fan!)
Needless to say, when the clock struck 10pm I was kneeling on my living room carpet setting up my circle. I kept things very simple last night but did take into circle all 6 of the various decks I have. I wanted the spirits to guide me in which cards to use.
I skipped the wine ..I was out. (dammit)
At 12:15 I finished my circle, 6 cards chosen, two different decks were used and 3 chosen from each and Lilith was by my side.
How do I know she was by my side?
Well, I was not sure what Lilith may look like, or I wasn't sure until last night, but she did show herself.
Twice.
The first time, I was sitting on the couch feet propped up on the coffee table, studying the meaning of the cards (which I will post later..it's unreal) and I felt something like a cat tail brush under my leg, at the knee.
I do have a cat, but she's an outside cat mostly and she was not in the house. I thought for a split second it might be my dogs ear because she has this annoying habit of laying right underneath me. I jerked my leg up and peered over the edge of the couch.
No cat, no dog. Hmmm?
The second time, I was still studying the cards, and to my left, I saw a LARGE cat, (about the size of a large Bobcat, maybe a wee bit bigger), stroll by in front of my TV.
(Where's my wine!? OH shit, I'm still out!)
It's back half was golden in color and striped in a dark grayish black, with a very large tail. NOT FLUFFY, but large, thick tail, not too long. It's front half was female but still cat like with the striped fur ending about the waist and just the gold continuing up from there until it reached the head, which was again striped with black. She turned and looked at me over her shoulder and was gone. The eyes were big and she appeared to have an almost Cheshire like grin.
(I NEED WINE! Bring me WINE! dammit..where's the tequila?!)
Did this put me at ease?..well, yes and no. Yes, because I knew she was here to guide me and no because if you know the real story of Lilith, she's almost 'bad'. In my life right now though, I need a little bad.
(Besides all that..who the hell wants to see a large spectral cat walking across their living room?? WTH?)
I was up till 3.
I'll post the cards later. After my Dementor goes to work.
Till then.........
The Crone of 'no wine'
Sage.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Soooo Today...
This morning, at 5:30 my eyes popped open and I began my day with creating a small altar. A single candle and some incense was how I started my day. Sprinkled with some salt I gave the day to the spirits to lead the way. The spirits do work in mysterious and wondrous ways.
First things first, the spirits led me here, to do this. It is done. Not complete I'm sure, but it's here.
Next was something I totally was not expecting. I do have a small (very small farm). I garden and grow a lot of my own veggies. I have a small flock of chickens (about 15) and 3 dogs and 1 cat. It's not much of a 'farm' but it's mine.
(Hell, I figure if you have at least two different types of animals and a garden it's considered a farm. So there it is. ANYWAY..)
By luck of the draw, the last eggs that were hatched out just happened to have 4 roosters in the bunch.
(Like I NEED another male around here..gees!)
I lost one roo, so there were three cocky males all having their way with my girls (hens).
(The hens are kinda like me, they can do without that shit all together.)
The girls were suffering, feathers were missing and there was a general unease in the coop because of all the testosterone. I had to get rid of at least 2 of the males. You really only need one rooster for every 10-12 hens. I had 15 hens and 3 roosters.
GOOD GAWD those ladies went through hell.
(sigh For the last two days I've watched my hens be subjected to barnyard rape and I couldn't take it anymore.)
Two of those big bad boys had to go.
This morning, after setting up my altar I went outside with my coffee in hand and parked my fat ass on a lawn chair between the setting moon and the rising sun.
Again, leaving it all to the spirits to lead the way. I watched my brood and listened to thescreaming cackling of the hens as the males had their way with them. With determination that at least one of those roosters had to go TODAY, I walked inside to refill my go juice.
(Did I tell you I'm a coffee addict? Well, it's true).
Within the hour a knock came at my door. A young lady about the age of 14 or so (give or take a year) asked me if I had any eggs for hatching or perhaps a rooster that I would like to sell.
(I should not have been surprised by this, really I shouldn't, but I was.)
I was struck almost speechless.
I led her and her father out back, told her to take her pick, price $6.00. That young lady walked right into that pen, squatted down like a sumo wrestler and captured the biggest baddest rooster I had in about 30 seconds!
I was impressed.
After chatting for a while I learned they have a few Buff Orprington pullets for sale. We've made arrangements for him to deliver me two this weekend. I need some ladies who will brood for me. Rhode Island Reds which is what I have currently, are not much on brooding.
(they don't like sex, heck if they want to raise a flock of little peckers!)
The spirits work quickly. I must remember to thank them. :) Till next time.
The Crone of the Coop
Sage
First things first, the spirits led me here, to do this. It is done. Not complete I'm sure, but it's here.
Next was something I totally was not expecting. I do have a small (very small farm). I garden and grow a lot of my own veggies. I have a small flock of chickens (about 15) and 3 dogs and 1 cat. It's not much of a 'farm' but it's mine.
(Hell, I figure if you have at least two different types of animals and a garden it's considered a farm. So there it is. ANYWAY..)
By luck of the draw, the last eggs that were hatched out just happened to have 4 roosters in the bunch.
(Like I NEED another male around here..gees!)
I lost one roo, so there were three cocky males all having their way with my girls (hens).
(The hens are kinda like me, they can do without that shit all together.)
The girls were suffering, feathers were missing and there was a general unease in the coop because of all the testosterone. I had to get rid of at least 2 of the males. You really only need one rooster for every 10-12 hens. I had 15 hens and 3 roosters.
GOOD GAWD those ladies went through hell.
(sigh For the last two days I've watched my hens be subjected to barnyard rape and I couldn't take it anymore.)
Two of those big bad boys had to go.
This morning, after setting up my altar I went outside with my coffee in hand and parked my fat ass on a lawn chair between the setting moon and the rising sun.
Again, leaving it all to the spirits to lead the way. I watched my brood and listened to the
(Did I tell you I'm a coffee addict? Well, it's true).
Within the hour a knock came at my door. A young lady about the age of 14 or so (give or take a year) asked me if I had any eggs for hatching or perhaps a rooster that I would like to sell.
(I should not have been surprised by this, really I shouldn't, but I was.)
I was struck almost speechless.
I led her and her father out back, told her to take her pick, price $6.00. That young lady walked right into that pen, squatted down like a sumo wrestler and captured the biggest baddest rooster I had in about 30 seconds!
I was impressed.
After chatting for a while I learned they have a few Buff Orprington pullets for sale. We've made arrangements for him to deliver me two this weekend. I need some ladies who will brood for me. Rhode Island Reds which is what I have currently, are not much on brooding.
(they don't like sex, heck if they want to raise a flock of little peckers!)
The spirits work quickly. I must remember to thank them. :) Till next time.
The Crone of the Coop
Sage
So last night...
If you've read my 'who am I' page, then you know I was ...hmm drowning. I came to realize that I needed to get back to the me who had been so covered in 'other' things so last night when the moon began it's rise I stripped buck naked
(because I was in the midst of a power surge (read; hot flash)
and began to gather all my witchy supplies.
I vacuumed the living room floor... yeah yeah, I know.
I really should have done this outside, but it's hot here and mosquitoes love me, so I opted for the carpet.
(I warned you, sometimes I can be lazy.)
I dragged out all my stuff and poured a glass of wine. I went through each and every item, picked out the ones I would need and gave them a good cleaning. (dusty as hell!)
(sipped wine).
I set up a makeshift altar on the living room floor and turned up the music of choice really loud.
(sipped wine)
I got my chalk and marked my circle. Put my candles in place and began.
(burned the carpet..shrug, oh well shit happens)
I rededicated each witchy tool to my liking
(sipped wine)
I mixed up some herbs (letting spirit guides lead my hand as to which ones) and put them in my mortar and began meditating on the process at hand.
As I stamped and squished and squeezed and turned the herbs and such in the mortar I asked myself exactly why I was doing this circle.
(sipped wine)
A rededication sure, but what else? Guidance. I was seeking guidance.
This was going to be no small feat.
(cuz this hussy was lost, lost, lost- sipped wine)
Shoot, I could list all the things I needed guiding on but that might take a while. Everything from money to marriage (maybe not) and job to laughter. Instead of listing those things, I simply asked for guidance in my life as a whole.
Lead me where I need to go, present me with what I needed to do and gift me with what the spirits saw fit. (And look! ...here we are! This was the first of the things I was lead to do. This blog. For us oldbitches.. witches.)
I sent the request off to the spirits or whoever was listening and meditated for a while on the massiveness of life, sipped wine and closed my circle for the night.
I started this process at 10pm and finished at 12:30am. It was important to me that I spend time thinking and projecting on this. A simple solitary circle for 2 1/2 hours.
WOW!
Let's see what becomes of this.
The Crone of Guidance Wine
Sage
(because I was in the midst of a power surge (read; hot flash)
and began to gather all my witchy supplies.
I vacuumed the living room floor... yeah yeah, I know.
I really should have done this outside, but it's hot here and mosquitoes love me, so I opted for the carpet.
(I warned you, sometimes I can be lazy.)
I dragged out all my stuff and poured a glass of wine. I went through each and every item, picked out the ones I would need and gave them a good cleaning. (dusty as hell!)
(sipped wine).
I set up a makeshift altar on the living room floor and turned up the music of choice really loud.
(sipped wine)
I got my chalk and marked my circle. Put my candles in place and began.
(burned the carpet..shrug, oh well shit happens)
I rededicated each witchy tool to my liking
(sipped wine)
I mixed up some herbs (letting spirit guides lead my hand as to which ones) and put them in my mortar and began meditating on the process at hand.
As I stamped and squished and squeezed and turned the herbs and such in the mortar I asked myself exactly why I was doing this circle.
(sipped wine)
A rededication sure, but what else? Guidance. I was seeking guidance.
This was going to be no small feat.
(cuz this hussy was lost, lost, lost- sipped wine)
Shoot, I could list all the things I needed guiding on but that might take a while. Everything from money to marriage (maybe not) and job to laughter. Instead of listing those things, I simply asked for guidance in my life as a whole.
Lead me where I need to go, present me with what I needed to do and gift me with what the spirits saw fit. (And look! ...here we are! This was the first of the things I was lead to do. This blog. For us old
I sent the request off to the spirits or whoever was listening and meditated for a while on the massiveness of life, sipped wine and closed my circle for the night.
I started this process at 10pm and finished at 12:30am. It was important to me that I spend time thinking and projecting on this. A simple solitary circle for 2 1/2 hours.
WOW!
Let's see what becomes of this.
The Crone of Guidance Wine
Sage
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