Muffin Tops and more

The Dementor and I went to town yesterday to do some shopping and general running about.
It was not pretty.
I do so hate to shop with the Dementor, he's sullen and always questioning what I buy. If it's an extra dollar, he's bitchin'.  I repeat, I hate to shop with my Dementor.
 
Did you know Dementors are also misers? Oh yes, never doubt that. Cheap, pinch-fist, penny pincher, scrooge, skinflint, cheapskate, tightwad and all the other words you can think of to indicate someone who does not want to spend money, bitches when you do spend money and questions everything you spend money on. NOTE: Everything YOU spend money on..but not him.  Some days it's worse. 

 Anyway
We did our running about and stopped off for lunch at a local fast food chain.  After ordering our meal  (having to correct the young lady preparing it, twice), we sat down to eat.  Nearing the end of our lunch another young lady came into the establishment and walked up to the counter to order her lunch. At first I didn't notice her, but when she pranced about in front of the counter long enough, I glanced up as she was walking by.

SHOCK! (blink, blink)

Now, I've heard of being "melted and poured into your jeans" and I've heard of 'skinny jeans', not to mention a few other terms to describe 'tight fitting' jeans, but this girl took the cake.

I don't know how she was breathing.

Not only were her jeans so tight (you couldn't have fit 'air' between her and the material) but she was 'puffin' over the top much more then the average 'muffin top' ..it was more like a pound cake top.

She was bulging all the way to her neck! I'm sure she had to lay on the bed and suck it in for an hour before she got those things zipped up..I kid you not!

Her top..it was designed to be as thin, as see through, as fall off the shoulders as it could be and still classified as a top.
You could tell all these clothes were 'new', not garbage clothes, not rag bag clothes...but new. Designer type.
Sad part about all this, she thought she looked good! You could tell by the way she was prancing. Trust me when I tell you it was far from attractive.

It hit me like a brick shit house at that point.

WHY is it, boys and men wear clothes so big and low, 'bustin' a sag' as they call it showing their underwear to the world ..
(I've seen it bad enough that they are wearing a belt around the top of their thighs to hold up their pants) ..
but girls and women do exactly the opposite and wear clothes so tight they can barely breath??

You wanna talk about major cameltoe going on here..
WHERE do they learn their fashions sense?
Cuz they missed the boat!
Why in the world do they believe this is attractive? Who has mislead our youth today? WTH?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, (just so you guys will KNOW)
I am a fat southern women, but there is no way in this world I would go out of my house looking like this girl did yesterday. For starters, I'm not going to be 'uncomfortable' for the sake of anyone much less a 'fashion statement'...piss on that. Secondly.. I like to breathe thankyouverymuch.  

I'll say it again, like I've said a thousand times "Where are we going and why are we in the handbasket?"
Nuff said.

The Crone of  Fat jeans
Sage