Some days I wake up in this handbasket and just ask myself, where are we going?
I've seen so much shit and so much nonsense on the news lately, I'm running out of red flags.
Something did come by me the other day however, that I had to stick in my 'OMG don't forget this' brain file. It was 'Deagel' site. What is the Deagel site..well, I'm still not sure. It's a military something said one place I looked, so honestly, I'm not sure. I'll be looking into it more. They do these yearly or semi yearly reports on the upcoming years..`10 or so. These reports include population growth and or losses.
BUT
Here's the rub.
Back in 2015 (or before), Deagel put out their report and it graphed a HUGE population loss in 2025. Well peeps, this is 2021 and I don't have to tell you what has been going on over the last 12-14 months. We all know. We are all aware. I'm not sure if everyone is aware how the Virus or the Vaccine has or is effecting people...but I know there have been a few deaths. They've pulled one of the types of vaccines...blood clots, heart issues and various other things occurring in people who have received the second round. Even to death. SO...that being said..is it true? who knows.
(I trust no one and nothing anymore. NOTHING...)
SO..onto other topics.
Today is Sunday..it's my SEWCIAL Sunday. I've been calling it that for a while and try to sew on that day but haven't always stuck by it. (I'm kinda loose that way!)
(Confession time)
My life has no 'road ahead' so it seems. Sometimees..I feel stuck. I feel floating and just waiting for the right breeze to blow me somewhere. Anywhere but in the doldrums of lifes' seas. Of my lifes' ocean at least. I get I'm supposed to be here, but still feel stuck I guess as to my next 'move'.
Sad thing here is, I'm not sure which way to point my sail. I HAVE to do something. Last night the future haunted my ability to sleep. Thoughts of 'what to do'? 'where to go'? 'how to start'?
I still dream that I could start a pagan convent..I really would. A convent of older women such as myself. 55+ Women who are of a self supportive attitude, but find themselves kinda stuck like me. Those who are at least of an openness in the faith department, Where practicing your chosen faith with others or not would be acceptable. Somewhere where older women who still find pleasure in the arts they love, from painting to gardening to yoga could practice those things on their own terms. With or without others to join them. Would be a dream. is a dream.
This country have left the old to die, alone and without help. We have put things on the map, raised children, made it possible for people to continued on with our country, lifestyle and faiths, and here we are..forgotten and cast aside with no options available. What the fuck are we thinking.
I must chant, pray think, eat, breathe on these things. I must find a way.
Sage..
Crone of lifes doldrums
