The Evil Dementor and his Pseudo Twin Mr. Wonderful

As I sit and enjoy a glass of wine after dinner,
(something I've done for two nights in a row now!)

I ponder over what the last two days of my life have revealed to me.  They have revealed to me how 'taking' I was. Taking not as in 'I was doing the taking'..but instead I was the one 'taking it'. 
(sad to say, but it's true)

First I must explain what happened when Dementor learned I had secured a job. Remember, he already knew I wanted a divorce, and was searching for a job. From that time ..till the day he found out I had a job, he was his normal, aggravating, hard core, meanass self. Not talking to me, sullen and grumpy as all get out. Hateful.

The day he discovered I had a job, was the day that his world took a turn, and my eyes were opened.

A story for you:

When she told him she had a job, ..the look on his face changed from surprise, to panic, to worry, to a 'knowing' and then to dollar signs within a matter of seconds. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair as he thought things through. What was really going on in his head was...
surprise; she can get a job!
panic; ohmygawd, she may be serious about this 'divorce' thing!
worry; now what do I do?? She's found me out.
knowing; I know..I'll go back to being Mr. Wonderful and she'll fall right back into place!
dollar signs; if she's making money then I can spend mine on ME and the things I want!

On that fateful day, he tried his best to cajole her into reconsidering. His voice softened, a smile came across his face and his countenance was lifted.  He tried to make her see reason and not once, did he raise his voice. He tried to show her the error of her ways. The only words she spoke to him were 'too little, too late'. At this point, he retreated to his chamber to recoup and rethink his strategy.
The war was on.
And yes, that's what it is..a war of wit, a war of 'dementor against Mr. Wonderful'..a war to win the damsel back again. She had somehow seen through that veil he wore as Mr. Wonderful and saw that he really was a Dementor..he had to change that..he had to put the veil back on. He underestimated her. He thought she'd take his shit for the rest of her life. She only lasted a few years.
So with great determination the next morning he rose with a sunny disposition and a smile on his face. He was pleasant and congenial,  jovial and helpful. He was all the things he once was, he was Mr. Wonderful once again..he was ..on the hunt. He had devised a plan..one that she would fall for without second thought. A plan that was as devilish as he was. He had resurrected Mr. Wonderful for the duration of her infernal rebellion.  He would be her knight in shinning armor once again. She WOULD see the error of her ways and she would be his whipping post once again. He was determined. She was not near as smart as he was, because deep down, he was conniving and devious and much better at these games then she. Oh yes.


The weekend was ahead, he had three days to sweep her back off her feet and he would give it his all. Three days of bliss with Mr. Wonderful and she would be weak in the knees, she would be all but begging to make amends. He would be her everything.


Unfortunately for him, he had underestimated his opponent. She saw straight through the veil, it was as transparent as mosquito netting. Yes, the war was on, and she was the lead General, with a battery of soldiered reasons and knowing behind her. This war she would win. His actions were a joke to her hardened heart and quick mind. He was a sham, something to laugh about. His attempts were the chaotic antics akin to a court jester of King Arthur.  Antics that she smiled at as she sipped her wine and laughed deeply inside herself ..watching him play the fool. 

For two days she watched, all the while knowing the game he was playing at. He really wasn't very good at it. Did he not know she could see right through his feeble attempt at pretending? Was he truly that inept?  Apparently, he was, as day three brought the same Mr. Wonderful emerging from his chambers, smiles from ear to ear and a tone warm enough to melt butter. He was laying it on thick, pretending to be all she ever wanted  and dreamed of. Pretending to be the man she married 5 years ago.
Oh! what a joke he was, she thought as she smiled and sipped her wine. She listened to the pseudo silken voice that contained not one ounce of the malice it used to hold as she watched his fake smiling face. She gave no indication that she knew the farce, she let him play on. He gifted her throughout the day with his humor and kindness, being the perfect gentleman all the while hoping she might warm to him tricks.  Try as he might, she gave not an inch but simply parried back, time and time again cutting him below the knees.

The weekend was almost over and his time to twist her back into shape was nearing an end. He must work fast.
She knew any minute now the little underhanded, devious worming would begin.
It was just before dinner that he made his fatal mistake as they were discussing issues with expenditures. Finally he blurted out, "well, if it's going to be cheaper for the both of us to keep things together even though we may be you know..not quite together, maybe we should just leave it that way?"
BOOM!
There it was, she knew. As she picked up her glass and drew it to her mouth, taking a long slow sip of the contents within, she smiled broadly and said "I don't think so".


BOOM again. Parry and Block.
He was foiled! It was not over...he knew! He demanded it of himself! He would have to try harder. Maybe..just maybe he'd pretend to be 'sick'. Yeah, that was the ticket. Next week, I'll be sick..I'll get her to see ..Just you wait.

TO BE CONTINUED
(will he be sick?? Or will Dementor hold off on the sickness till the bitter end, using it as a last ditch effort?) 
Join us next time on..............
"The Evil Dementor and his Pseudo Twin Mr. Wonderful"

The Crone of Parries and Blocks

Sage

A Series of Steps

Since I'm looking at life as a series of steps, or at least my upcoming trials and tribulations as a series of steps, I'm now heading into step three of the personal transformation.
I know you all may not be interested in reading this, but it helps me to write it down. Read if you like, comment if you want..or don't. 

Step one being: Inform Dementor it's over. CHECK
Step two: Obtain job to support self: CHECK (sort of)
The job will probably not pay for everything as it is now. So..here is step three..a series of steps actually..but the goal is "REDUCE THE BILLS"

I thought step three was going to be to pay off the Zoom Zoom, but it's not. Step three is as follows.

Step Three: REDUCE THE BILLS: Do everything I can to reduce current spending. From Car insurances, to house insurances to electric and cancelling the DirectTV.
These are the only bills that I have any control over. So..current plan is:
1. Reduce the current electric as much as possible. (this is the biggy)
 One end of the house, where there are two bedrooms and a bath will be closed off completely. I'll only open them when I'm going to have company. I cannot afford anything above 200$ on the electric and I'd really like to get it closer to 100$. This is going to be difficult in the summer with our weather being such that we live in hell. (our average summer bill is about 250 or better)
All electronics are going on a power strip that I can shut off every night (while sleeping) and every day while I'm at work.
All the light bulbs to be changed out to the newer 'power reduction' lights. (most are already)
All windows will be sealed with plastic and covered with blankets or quilts (some already are)
(I'll be leaving the bottoms 'roll up ready' so that I can use natural heat/cool air and fans as much as possible)
And finally,
Keep my bedroom/bathroom area closed during the day ..it stays cooler in there if it is.
(This is where crones such as myself pray for the time when we start getting cold..I won't run the air conditioner as much thus saving myself some electric! )
2. Search for cheaper car and house insurance:
Currently..I have a pretty good rate, but I might as well make sure it's the lowest!
3. Cut off/out all unnecessary expenditures:  This I cannot accomplish till May. I've already gotten rid of my cell phone..but come May, when my DirectTV contract is up, (it's in my name) I will be cancelling that. (and if Dementor is still here ..he's gonna be hot!) The only other extra expenditure is my 'internet service' which I am desperately going to try and keep. If after a few months I find I cannot afford it, I'll shut it down.
4. Make sure Dementor fixes Little Red back to working order: (Little Red is my red Mazda and right now, it's needs repair and I'm not sure if Dementor intends on repairing it) If I cannot afford the gas in the Zoom Zoom (it's what I call the little blue Mazda), using the Little Red will reduce my gas consumption. It takes regular gas, where as the Zoom Zoom takes premium. The gas milage is a wee bit better then on the Zoom Zoom. (At least, I'll be able to see over the next few weeks, how much it will cost me to go to and from work in the Zoom Zoom .. *I may be able to carpool a bit too.

I think that's it. Step three..a series of things, all leading to "BILL REDUCTION". All of which, will cost me little to no money, only time.  This is a good thing. I'm hoping it will save me money, the more I save, the better off I will be in preparations for what is to come.

Then..will come...

Step 4: Pay off the ZOOM ZOOM:  I don't owe much on it..less the $1000 ..which is great. When I was working before, I paid it down to over half. Now..I'll finish it up. Of course, Dementor bitched about that ..yes yes he did. Hard. But..oh well. He'll get over it. Or not. I'm figuring this step and step 3 will run together. The more I save, the faster I can pay off Zoom Zoom.  :) 

Now, onto Dementor's attitude. He's going to make this difficult, I can tell. There are things that need to be discussed and he just does NOT want to discuss it. If I bring it up, he immediately cops an attitude. Gets nasty and refuses to discuss it.
(blink blink)
You know, in life, you can make things hard or you can make them easy. This is a done deal, the decision has been made, so why make it a miserable experience? I don't understand this. There is no need for it. We have to deal with things, ignoring them is not going to make them go away and being bitchy about it is not going to make them easier.
I swear, I hate men.

He knows I'm waiting on a call about this job. He has yet to ask me anything about it. Matter of fact, he has yet to actually 'talk' to me since I said I was done, it was over.
He's trying to make amends it seems though. He's coming home every night and 'reading the news to me via computer'. (HUH!?) Like I really want you to read to me! You've never done this before..why start now. Like 1 of 5 said "Too little..Too late!" I'm ready to deal with the things we HAVE to deal with..he's ready to start making a marriage. Nahhh I think not.

Anyway..back to "he has yet to ask me about the job'. He hasn't asked me about anything. Nothing. So the new mantra I repeat to myself everyday is.
If you don't care enough to ask, you don't care enough.

Repeat  (as long and as hard as necessary)

****UPDATE: 4PM Jan 26, 2012
All the bulbs that I can get to..or let's say all the bulbs that we use on a pretty regular basis except for 'his' lamps that he will be taken, have been changed to the new 'twisty' energy saver bulbs. I only had one large package, so I used them all in the basic areas of the house. I'll get more as I go along, but for now, 98% of the bulbs are changed. Now..onto the power strips!

The Crone of Repeats

Sage

What you see when you're not looking.

You know..life is a funny thing.

When I first thought of the marriage being over, I too thought of the things we had bought together and the things I would not want to give up. Now, a week later, I'm willing and ready to give up a lot more up then I originally thought.

Time will make you change your mind and see things through a different light. In my minds eye, all I can think of now is the freedom of 'solitary' existence. Sounds odd doesn't it?
Freedom in solitary existence....but there is a certain amount of freedom in living alone. Since I have lived alone before, I know of this freedom. I miss that freedom.
Oh sure sure, I don't miss going to work and working two and three jobs to keep my head above water..but even then there was a satisfaction with the self during that existence that lent to a harmony of sorts. A peace within. A knowing.

Now..in the current existence I have (had), there is no satisfaction, no freedom.
Just what kind of freedom am I speaking of?  This kind.

The simple kind:
The freedom to know, that if you walk into your home you can toss your stuff down and not worry about it, if you choose to do so.
That on a day off, if you choose, you don't have to do ANYthing. (and there will be no looks of consternation for doing nothing..no looks of disdain, no looks that calls you names)
The freedom to run naked through the house after a shower and not have someone stare at you like you've lost your ever-lovin' mind.
To know you have no one else to consider when it comes to meals..if you want to eat peanut butter and crackers for dinner..great.
If you want to watch an all day fest of "The Godfather" you aren't going to hear the complaints of another voice debunking your choice.
To dance and sing about the house as you clean and or cook something and not be thought of as crazy or a lunatic (ya know..I haven't sang or danced about in a long time)
These are all surface pleasures of freedom.

The more complicated kind: 
Along with those freedoms comes an internal freedom of self.
One that says: I can be just as good (or better) at what I do alone then I can with someone who knocks me down for it. 
I can give myself the praise I need on a job well done and not depend on words of kindness from someone else. I'm just as good at praise as the next person, and better then the one I'm currently living with.
It's a silence in the soul that simply says "it's ok"..a peace within that you are responsible for no one but yourself and 'your' baggage and not the baggage of another.

(believe me, when  you're married, you DO carry the baggage of another..even the ones they have heaped upon you that you never asked for)

Then the really complicated kind:
It's a stillness that you reach in your soul that no one else can put there..
A satisfaction and pleasure within the self that no one can take away unless you let them.
A quietness that can only happen when you are alone. One that speaks to you and comforts you.
Being alone, you find yourself.

I have to say, I gave up a lot of myself over the last 5 years. I gave it up to keep peace. I gave it up to keep from dealing with a rage and reckoning from someone else. I gave up a lot.
What scares me most, is that I may never get me back, or that it will take me years to get me back.
I miss the me I used to be.



The Crone of searching for ME,
Sage

Messages from the Great Beyond

Ahh well, the process has begun. I'm assuming it has begun for him too since he's searching apartments, houses and mobile homes to rent.
Today, I transferred a few things of mine, and a few things of his. Tonight, I've gone through the movies and tomorrow, I'll pick another area...the process has begun.

I really thought I'd never have to do this shit again. Sometimes the twists and turns in life can leave you reeling with decisions and actions that you never considered. I'm here to tell you, always expect the unexpected. Never assume it's all 'ok' or 'the same'. 

But..all that is not what this post is about. It's about messages. Messages sent to you from wherever..for you to hear and heed. Whether you do or not is the question.

I heard a few things in the past few days that ..I think are very...uhmm..true? thoughtful? enlightening?
You decide.

Some of you are going to think I'm crazy, but that's ok...I admit it freely.
I truly believe that 'things' or messages come to you when needed, via whatever method is best suited at the time.  With that thought in mind, read on.

Many of you are very aware I sleep with the tv on at night, usually putting it on a movie type channel or something. This past Saturday night, I fell asleep before I could change the channel to an 'all movie channel so Sunday morning, I woke to preaching.
ACK!!!!
Now you all know ..I don't do preachers, but I think the message I woke hearing was meant for me to hear.

That message was (and I'm paraphrasing for the most part) "instead of worrying about a problem, pray through a problem."
(there was more of course, he was talking about 'not being able to pay bills or get a job and so on and so on, but then said..don't worry over it...pray through it"..you get the drift) He repeated it several times actually..I kept hearing it over and over again. Ok..ok..I hear ya!
We all know prayer, meditation and magical workings are all the same thing. So I can deal with this message coming to me. Yep..sure can.

Then today..while in slow mode,  I decided to watch tv (or at least have it on for background noise as I did other things)..I scanned the channels, seeing nothing I wanted to watch. Even the movie I decided on, wasn't really something I necessarily wanted to see,  it had already started 30 minutes before..but I turned it on anyway. The movie was "Eat Pray Love" with Julia Roberts. Based on the book by Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia.

As the movie ran, I payed attention once in a while, surfed the web some of the time, puttered at other times. (I saw enough of it, that I put it on my 'will have to watch the whole thing some day list'..)

Either way, again..a message came to me. This was at a moment when I wasn't really watching instead I was doing something else, and for some reason paused in the process and looked up at the tv. I did this two separate times..
Here is what I heard:
The first was:  "Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself."

The second:   "In the end, I've come to believe in something I call "The Physics of the Quest." A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity. The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this: If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you."



Without a doubt, I believe all three of these things in the past few days were meant for me to hear. They spoke volumes and rang a tone of truth for me.
I understand the workings of the 'greater spirit' of life and truly believe we get messages, notes or information from all different sources, most just choose to ignore them. I will not ignore them. The last item.."the Physics of the Quest" say it pretty good if you ask me. It almost needed to come first, but then if it had, I may have ignored it.


Pay attention, listen for the messages. They could bring you peace, understanding or at least a soul revealing change. Pay attention. 

The Crone of Messengers


Sage

A Personal I-Ching

Well..it's over. It's been done. Kaput.

And now, life will change drastically
(and possibly for the better for me)
I laid it all on the line last night. I'm not even sure how it started, and I'm not sure what made me do it last night, the timing just felt right. Once that ball started rolling, it kept on going too.

It was strange really. I learned what I already knew, and and some things I didn't know.

Money.

The old saying "the love of money is the root of all evil' could not be more true. Wanting it, having it, earning it and wanting more of it (and not getting it) is what has turned the man I married 5 years ago into the dementor he is today.
Money is his foundation. He built his house brick brick by brick on greed and put it together with the mortar of his hate. The hate that he has for supporting me, and much more.
Specifically speaking he hates that he has to pay for my car, my insurance and my cigarettes.
(yep...he said that)
He wants lots of extra money after the bills are paid so that we can go and take day trips any time we feel like it or buy something worth more then 200$ any time we feel like it and right now his income and his outgo are level and even, the same, he has nothing to show for it. Oh..and while we are on these little 'jaunts' around the country I'm not supposed to be tethered to my kids or family it's supposed to be just him.  He hates that his name is not on the house and speaking of the house, it's always been my house never 'our' house or 'his' house. He hates that he  has nothing to show that's of monetary value in his eyes. He owns nothing. He sees nothing tangible, like money or 'things' he can say are his.

Money..it all boiled down to money and my family.

Me and my familyHe hates the way my family is and that I hold my kids and my grand kids above him. (that they are more important then him..and he's right on that, and I told him that before we ever got married..my exact words were "My kids are the most important thing in my life, and you will never take their place".  
(shrug..to me, that's being a parent..he cannot understand this since he left his kids a long time ago and supplicates them with money thinking this will make the difference..who'd a thunk?)

He hates the way we play games (I mean GAMES..like board games or card games) because we chatter and kabitz too much during a game, we laugh and giggle, he said "when I play a game I'm there to play, not cavort around and TALK while playing".

(OMG!...let's just say he does not know how to have FUN!)

He hates the way my son and I discuss things and analyze them at a level that's beyond ridiculous really solving nothing. (I did mention it's no different then the talking heads he watches on tv, he got a little stumped about that but said he has it on and doesn't really listen..I call a bullshit flag on that excuse)

He hates that my family (brothers/sisters/kids) call me every day (or nearly every day) and that they call me for advise or to talk things through. In his words, "It's not 'what did you do last week'..it's what did you to 10 minutes ago". 
(one must understand, he has NO relationship with his family..not brothers or kids..the kids call him once in a blue moon and he never talks to his brothers..they may see each other once every 2-5 years or so)
He even said to me the last time one of my sisters was here all he wanted to do was to smack her out the door! (why.?..because she had a differing opinion then he did and voiced it)
To be honest, I think he's jealous of the relationship I have with my kids and family, because he doesn't have that.

What I learned about me:
A bossy know it all that ruled the roost in her way and if it wasn't her way it wasn't gonna happen. That I had a permanent tether to my family that I refused to cut for him. There was no compassion or sympathy in me for him when he was in pain (wth?) and I thought of him as a sugar daddy only, the money man.  I thought of my family and my grand-babies before him..even when I went to the thrift store, it was always I bought for them, toys for their room, clothes for them and never anything for him (I guess he forgot all the times I bought him the books he loves or tried to convince him to buy the exercise machine he wanted)  

I could go on and on and on about what I learned, but the most surprising thing I learned ..was this.
When I asked him at the beginning of our conversation if he really wanted to be here, stay here and be in this marriage and why he hadn't left already since he was so unhappy" he said "because if I left,  I'm afraid you'll kill me."
(blink blink)
(blink blink)
I'll let you figure that one out..
He then said "What am I supposed to do then..walk away with only the clothes on my back and sign it all away."

I was flabbergasted. That's when I told him "You really don't know me. In the five years we've been together, you really and truly do not know me." 

I then informed him..In all the relationships I've ever had in my life and the marriages, when they were over, I never ONCE ..not ONCE asked for alimony. Even when my marriage of 15 years ended and the law told me I had legal right to 1/2 of my husbands retirement because we were married for more then 1/2 of his military career I said 'no'..I didn't want it. That each time they walked out with what they came in with and everything that was bought together during that relationship was split evenly between us. Do you know why that is Dementor? Cuz when I'm done, I'm done. I want no reasons for you or anyone to have to come back.

Then he started talking about this and that and how would we split it..and so on and so on. The more he talked, the more I knew there would be no reconciliation between us. Ever. He and I are too very very different people. He thinks we must have much more money and tangible items, I think..not. Money is not my standard of living ...living is my standard.

I tried explaining that if two people love each other, they don't have to have money to be happy, they should be happy to be in each others company, talking, playing games, working about their home. He told me I was dreaming and that shit never happens. I disagree...it does happen. He said then, If I don't have money, I am not happy. Period.

It was over for me. (of course, it was over for me much earlier in the conversation.)


Six months. I will get the job, begin paying my car and insurance, my 1/2 of the bills and he will save money and go somewhere by July 1.

It's over. Thank the Goddess, let's party!


The Crone of happiness without money,
Sage

A Year of Learning..DO IT!

Well how was everyone's weekend? Has the New Year lived up to it's expectations for you thus far?

We (yep..me and dementor) were out and about yesterday and noticed, gas is on the rise again. It's in the headlines this morning, over the last three weeks, it has taken about a $0.12 hike...the first increase since mid October. And speaking of news..
(much to my ignorance..for I did not know this)
APPARENTLY many laws were passed and signed into 'the books' on New Years Eve by our president. I think the Dementor mentioned over 40,000 new laws were passed. 
(I could be wrong on that number)
And one of five mentioned 'he signed most of our rights away'..........I find this all very hinky. I look at the news a lot, read a lot of it, keep up with the current events as best as I can, and for some reason I knew nothing about this. I mentioned this to Dementor last night and he too said they really kept it on the hush hush, many people didn't know about it and even more then that don't REALLY know what was written in those laws passed.
Now I know many of you may 'pooh pooh' me on this one, but hey..I can write whatever I want to here..right?
But..this is 2012. Unlike many, I don't believe the world is coming to an end. I think mother nature is much smarter then to commit suicide. HOWEVER..I do believe this is a year of reckoning. Whether it's US government, world powers, or mother natures wrath..(or all of the above) ..something has got to give.

With all that said, here are a few predictions (dealing primarily in US) I have for the year..just call me 'the prophet' for now mmmk? LOLOL
(PS hardly any of these predictions could not be 'figured' by anyone who does keep their eye on the sky..so to speak)
Ohh and NONE are good. Today, I'm the evil witch and I don't do good, so don't call me Glenda!

Let's deal with Mother Nature first:

1. There will be an earthquake on the east coast that rocks much harder then the last..actually I see possibly two. 
2. And another mid US. From Tennessee down and over. 
3. Super storms, unpredicted and unavoidable will pop up in several places causing major damage. (flooding rains, tornadoes, etc)
4. You will see another mass of dead via the sea. Something will wash ashore somewhere in mass, dead. (look for it to be a larger species)
5. And as unfortunate as it is..I do feel a 'super flu' or captain tripps (or some sort of 'BUG) is on it's way as well. Not sure when, this may come before we realize it.....and I keep feeling early summer. So you figure it out. 
6. Our heat will be tremendous (as if we didn't know this!) but it will lead to a problem of electric production. (Shortage)..which will lead to #7 on the next list.

Government and the way we live.

1. I look for coffee, sugar and chocolate to take a huge hike in price due to a shortage. (stock up now)
2. A 'ban' on cigarettes will be mentioned and possibly even rallied to make them illegal.
3. Gas will take a huge hike by ohhh I say June, just before the good crop season starts which will lead to
4. A jump in all grocery prices due to high fuel costs. (specifically fresh fruits and veggies)
5. FOOD..food in general will be an issue somehow..someway. I'm not sure, I can't put my finger on it, but FOOD will become an issue. (the government is somehow involved in this....because the saying "control the food and you control the people" keeps coming to mind..don't ask me why..it just is)
6. With the demands and bans the government is going to try to enforce, I think we may see some uprising. Civil war as such. Small bands at first, but that may well start the ball rolling. Military law may be implemented at some point nearing the end of the year. (not in all areas necessarily, but in some)
7. Many many years ago, when gas was an issue, you were only allowed to get gas according to what your tag read..even and odd kinda thing. I see this happening with electric. You will only be allowed so much wattage per month (come the summer) and will be required to keep your thermostats set in the upper range due to power outages and shortage in electrical output. (this all due to our extensive heat). If you go over yout allotted wattage, you will pay dearly for it.
8. Internet Censorship will make headlines this year. I don't know if anything will happen about it, but it will be an issue.

Ok..that's all I've got right now. (I may add more later as I see it) It's enough I think. Or at least enough to get you to thinking. Yes, I do believe 2012 to be the 'year of changes' if you will. I don't believe all those many different cultures could have come up with that date hairy kairy for nothing. What will culminate on Dec 21? Who knows..maybe nothing, or maybe a great light show in the night sky. As far as any earth changes as a whole..I look for that to begin in October...on or about the 28th. What exactly?..have no clue.


Well, I've done my duty for today. Are you a prepper? Maybe you should consider it at least on a small scale..buy now while it's cheap, cuz something tells me come mid summer, nothing is going to be cheap.

The best thing you can do is prep your brain. Learn all you can about everything. How to do this, and that, who's in charge of what and what do they stand for? Who controls this and that? What are your state regulations on various things? One thing no one can take away from you is your power to reason, think and create for yourself. So..do it!
Make this the year of learning.


The Crone of Obvious Predictions

Sage

Let's play Possum!

I woke early this morning, made my coffee and ran the obligatory bathroom trip. I pulled out my cards, lit my candle, poured my first cup of java and sat down to commence with learning what this new year may bring to me. Just what were the cards going to tell me of my future, my upcoming life. Where will it go, what will I do and how should I go about it.

First, I drew an Animal Totem card, the animal attitude and actions I need to keep with me for this year. What animal would I need to be most like and remember in my everyday situations?

It was the Opossum;
Meaning: Use strategy in some present situation, rely on your instincts. If you have to pretend to be apathetic or unafraid, DO IT! If you refuse to struggle or show that hurtful words bother you, your taunter will see no further fun in the game. Victory is sweet when the strategy is one of mental as well as physical prowess. Expect the unexpected and be clever in achieving your victory. Use your brain, your sense of drama and surprise to leap over some barrier to your progress.

(Well well, how enlightening..I MUST remember this when dealing with Dementor)

Then I pulled one card of the Celtic Oracle deck and a one card from the Sacred Pathways cards. ( for each 3 months of the year, hence..8 cards) I did one from each deck in order to see how well they combined together to say the same things or different things.

Jan.- March;
CO: The White Roebuck.
Meaning: Spiritual impulses are acting now. Your affairs are about to be affected by totally unpredictable and undefinable influences. Through this, your problems and constraints will be resolved in a completely unforseen manner. On a deeper spiritual level, aspects long hidden within will find release.
SP: Stone People:
Meaning: New understanding coming your way..a knowing will be revealed. It may change the way in which you view your life.

(ok..can easily be used together..wonder what is coming..unforeseen and unpredictable..cool!)

April - June:
CO: The Weaving Sisters:
Meaning: Powerful influences are at work. Forces of your past life and destiny are coming into play bringing changes you cannot avoid. Be prepared to accept the inevitable. Your Spiritual understanding will soon be transformed allowing you to see the patterns affecting your life. Being in tune with these forces makes you master of your own fate.
SP: East Shield;
Meaning; A need for clarity a time of illumination when things will begin to fit together. Marks a time of new freedoms that comes from wiping the mud from your eyes and seeing with the eye of the eagle. Clear the blinders by summoning courage and taking flight. (as the eagle). 

(surely can go together..I guess between April and June, I'll 'see' things in a more clear light.)

July - Sept.
CO: The Birch Tree:
Meaning: Not much is happening now but changes are gradually coming. Unseen forces of growth and change are at work. A new phase of activity will come soon. Great things will come from small beginnings, bringing well being and prosperity. Take care in the early stages to avoid problems. Clear away so that new events can take their course.
SP: Pipe
Meaning: Honor the blessings given by great mystery. Honor who you are and why you are here. Make peace with yourself.

(this appears to be a time of reflection and clearing away. From the previous card to these, makes me think something really important or big is going to be happening prior to this)

Oct. - Dec.
CO: Queen of the East:
Meaning: (may represent a young women important in your life) New opportunities are dawning. Vitality is increasing. The fertile possibilities of your life are opening up. The changes coming now are positive, bringing growing prosperity and well being. You can effectively repel unwanted influences. Through this, a new unfolding experience and awareness will take place.
SP: Talking Stick;
Meaning: You are not allowing yourself any options or are becoming too stuck on one idea. Listen to the opportunities talking stick says are coming your way. You are being given an opportunity to grow through an alternative route, use this gift now.

(well..every time I do this I get surprised how two different sets of cards, drawn totally separate from each other can say so much of the very same thing...enlightening don't you think?)


Now, just so you'll know..for shits and giggles, I pulled two cards, not for me, but for Dementor. Only two.
They were not good, especially when combined together. They were both from the Celtic Oracle cards.
One was "The Weaving Sisters", the second was "The Daughter of the Bones"

The Weaving Sisters were pulled in my cards as well..and they mean:
Powerful influences are at work. Forces of your past life and destiny are coming into play bringing changes you cannot avoid. Be prepared to accept the inevitable. Your Spiritual understanding will soon be transformed allowing you to see the patterns affecting your life. Being in tune with these forces makes you master of your own fate.

The Daughter of the Bones means: Your old way of life is breaking down. This is uncomfortable and frightening. Harsh realities of life are becoming obvious. You will get deep new insights by coming through this difficult time.

Now, just so you'll know.
The Daughter of the Bones is the fearsome goddess that rules the underworld. She is the terrible mother of death who crushes human skulls like acorns, but she is also the goddess of rebirth. She hunches over the cauldron of life and death. Her token animal is the raven, an emblem of death.  She is the reminder that without death, there can be no birth. From every ending point, comes a new beginning.
The Weaving Sisters are three aspects of Goddess of Destiny, spinning the web of human fate and life. One sister represents the past or what has been (the one who spins), one represents current or the now (the one who weaves) and one the future, what is coming (the one who cuts the thread). Together they weave the web of life called 'Web of Wyrd. It is spun, woven, then cut and destroyed for each life.

To pull both of these cards together............well, I'll let you interpret it in whatever way you wish.


Share you thoughts on the cards for the year!
AND

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

The Crone of Playing Possum

Sage