Well, the time is now 4:40 and I've been up since 4 am. WTH? Sleep is not coming easy for the past two nights, but I can tell you one thing that is coming easy..damned hot flashes. JeeesusLORD! Will they every quit?
It's getting ridiculous!
Job update: NONE. Dat's right nothing..nada, zilch.
I keep looking and looking and well, unless I want to drive a truck..it ain't happenin'
Mood update: Better but not. I say better but not, because I "FEEL" better, but I'm still not doing anything. Really, I just don't know what's going on. Ok, let me clarify something. To say I'm not doing anything is not quite true.
Everyday I get up and clean house, and or do laundry. I cook usually twice a day and clean the kitchen up both times. I may even do one project of 'deep cleaning' or yardsale fodder once a week. I may even go work in the garden once or twice a week.
BUT..there is nothing else I'm doing. No crafting, no painting, no room redesigning..nothing on those lines, which I can honestly say leaves me on the couch a lot lately. I mean, once you've vacuumed the house once, and cleaned the kitchen, dusted the furniture and washed all the laundry for a day..what the hell else you gonna do? (when you're in a 'do nothing' frame of mind)
HOWEVER..on that note, I've 'felt' better for the last week or so. I've felt more like 'doing something'..I just haven't gotten there yet. Wonder why that is? Today may be the day though, who knows. It might.
I don't even really feel like bloggin..I don't. Go figure.
Netflix has become my friend as of late.
Oh..but I will tell you what my mind made me realize the other day. When Dementor and I were at our worst..he said to me "he didn't want to support anyone"...that was his thing with me not working..he was 'supporting me' and he didn't want to do that. I've realized I really do have the upper hand here. The key is this:
If he really doesn't want to support me..then there's the door..it's open and swings out. You may leave and stop supporting me anytime. Simple.
If it comes to something like that, then well gee..I'll get a job after the fact..and if I can't find one, they can take the house. I sooooo don't care anymore. The land is paid for and I'll pitch a friggin tent if I have to, but the key is..'the door is open, if you don't want to support me or this house..go..I won't stop you."
How's that for a mind revelation?
Hey..made me feel better.
On that note, I guess I'll go sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Just another day in paradise around here! :)
Till next time
The Crone of Netflix browsing
Sage
