A Zebra in Pajamas

As promised, I'm giving an update here. Ohh what a weekend this has been.
First..I've had to spend money I don't have and rack up almost 350$ on my credit card...arghhh! Vet bills.. and second..the Dementor has been true to predictions and true to form and tried again..this time even harder to outsmart me. (it did not work.)

Go back and read THIS post titled "A failed attempt" You will see where I predicted exactly what the future would be and my reaction to it if it ever came about again. ...go ..read, then come back here. I'll wait.

Did you read? good. Now let's get down and dirty.

On Friday, I got off work at 11am...and met up with a girl friend for 'Rita Friday'..something we do every 4 weeks ..
(when you work at the local Sweat Shop..alcohol is a must after 4 weeks..trust me, it's our breathing time.) 

So..we sat, we chatted, we drank (2 medium rita's) we ate, we chatted and it was 3pm by the time I headed home. I did one more thing while I was in town..and that was made a trip to the bank. I took my name off Dementors account and had them give me a copy of the sheet showing my name had been removed.

Meanwhile back at the ranch Dementor had arrived home from work, just about 11am..and proceeded to plot his victory speech.

I arrive at the ranch. He was in the bedroom and immediately came out..all happy and smiling. That was my first clue of untrust.
We sat in the living room for a bit, discussed dinner..and maybe drinking some wine. We had general conversation. After about 30 minutes of this, I got up, heading to the kitchen where my purse and the letter from the bank were. I extracted my bank card for his account, cut it in half, stuck it inside the letter and proceeded to walk back into the living room, handing it to him all folded up and said "Here..a present for you."
I let the air out of his sails. His mood dropped a bit. As I sat back down on the couch, I said "I'd appreciate it if you'd would do the same in kind next week please. I figured this would keep you from having to think you have to 'change banks or get a different account."

(what he doesn't know is..I already knew he was looking to change banks..I'm a decent little detective see)

Jump ahead 2 hours.
And that's when it began. He wanted to talk..
For the next two hours, I heard all of my virtues. He started by saying "today while I was on the roof fixing the leak (small leak, near the back door where a rain run off is) I realized I was happy 'working on our home'. I was actually happy and it started to dawn on me how stupid I had been. I realized I had a good women, a nice home, all the comforts I could ask for, a decent job and I was totally taking it for granted."


This is when I KNEW the bullshit was starting to fly. Like I said, for the next two hours, I heard how good of a women I was, how he was wrong, he knew he had a problem with his attitude. He explained to me that in his entire life he could not put two happy days together, he says 'one day I'll be happy and everything is great and the next day it's all shit to me..I cannot connect even two happy days together'...
and so the conversation went. He promised he'd go see a doctor cuz I told him he was depressed or something more. He explained he was always afraid of having to take 'depression pills' because he was afraid they'd make him do something ..like 'go off and shoot people'.

(something was amiss..first off he takes a shit ton of pills already..pain killers, nerve pills, you name it, he takes it..he's not afraid to take a pill..and secondly any idiot knows pills for depression do the opposite of making you 'go off'.......pfft..I was not falling for any of this..my guard was way up)

At any rate, he went on and on and on, talking of his problems and how sorry he was, and how he was wrong.  He even wailed about how he had no friends..and I asked "and who's problem is that?" I got the classic "I don't know"..ohhh good gawd...
BUT one of the best parts of the conversation was when he said to me
"You look better since you've started working, you seem happier"
..I looked him dead in the eye and said "Do you want the truth or a lie?" He said 'the truth of course". And here is what I replied:
"I am happier..but it has nothing to do with my job. I hate my job with a passion..but it does me no good to bemoan it every day, I have to do it. I look better and am happier because I don't concern myself with YOU anymore. I don't try to make you happy, and your moods don't affect me any longer. You are not a concern for me anymore, period. Therefore, I am happy."
(the wind went out of his sails a little bit more)
Trust me when I tell you ..for every 'personal complaint he had' I gave him tit for tat and put the ball right back in his court. I stayed on top all evening.
I did not disappoint my fellow crones!

Now, the whole time we've been having this conversation, he's been extremely 'loving'..touching me, scratching my back, running his fingers through my hair..little kisses, the tone of his voice was soft and gentle..he even tried to shed some tears..they were few, but he managed it.  And finally it came...the opportunity I was waiting for.

He said he didn't want our marriage over, he was crazy to think he could find anything better and could we please just give it one more shot.
My reply? "I could not give him an answer right now, I'd have to think about it and the reason was..because it won't matter how happy you are today..or how happy I am today, I am afraid the dementor still lives within you and will return at any moment..and that..I will not deal with any longer. I stopped dealing with that the last time you went ape shit and blew up on me..it was over for me then. 
(here it comes folks..the final blow) but let me ask you, if I decide to stay in this marriage, then I'm assuming I can give my two weeks notice at work right?"
The next words out of his mouth, let me know that what I suspected about this conversation all along, was true.... He said: "No..you have to keep working."
I replied: "So your telling me, we can keep our marriage intact only if I work, but if I quit, you don't want the marriage".???..............  (ding ding ding..bonus! you've just won an all expense paid trip to GOTCHAville)
The tone of his voice changed..and he said "yes..I even posted that in my online profile, I don't want to support anyone..period."
My reply? "Well, then no..if I have to work, then then answer is NO".

That is when Dementor came back..and that is when I knew there had been so much bullshit coming from his mouth for the last 2 hours I should have offered him some toilet paper and a breath mint! He changed and he no longer extolled on me..he ragged on me. He started bringing up the last three/six months when I had refused to cook him dinner and so on and so on..He could not think of the 4 1/2 years before all that where I cooked, cleaned and catered to him..the same one he just spoke of..now..I was all bad.

I tell you, men are evil...do you hear me..men are evil.

Oh..he did say "well at least we are decent roommates.." I replied back "No..we are not..I get tired of cleaning up behind you, roommates don't do that..each one cleans up after himself".
(he didn't like that either)

He just didn't get it either..."I don't understand, you'll work to live alone, but you won't work for us'..I told him.."I'm working to support me because it's YOU I can't live with..And let me ask you something..do you have all the  money you need right now to pay your deposits and such to move">
His reply was 'yes, and if I don't I'll use my credit card'
I said "good, then could we move the date up to May?" Oh my gawd did he get hot..the voice raised, deepened and
Him: "I've been busting my ass for hours to try and convince you ..
at this point..I shut him out..as he slammed his door and retreated to his cave for the night.

(see..at some point in the last week he has mentioned to me 'he didn't want to move his stuff...he had no one to help him and his back wouldn't allow him to pick up most of it..so I think some of this was about..he doesn't want to move his shit!)

I call this a win in my situation. I saw through the bullshit at the very beginning, I didn't let my guard down..but it makes me laugh to think he THOUGHT he could 'win me back' by being the gentle kind person he was ..instead of the monster he has become, when he was really just a zebra wearing nice pajamas. I think it pissed him off to no end that I did not fall for it. I really do..I'm positive of it.

There was much much more in the conversation, but it matters not to me anymore. What matters to me is I saw through his games, he KNOWS I saw through it..he knows his 'time here is over'..He will now, go about his life to find another to abuse for a while. And she too, if she's got a brain in her head will see through him eventually, because I know this..he will not change..ever. He is what he is..a Dementor. Even if you shave a zebra, he is still black and white stripes underneath.

Till next time

The Crone of Zebra shaving,

Sage