SMACK ME..!!

is this a bad time for me or what?

I'm so confused and unsure of life right now and need somewhere to talk and someone to talk to, so you are it.

I truly hate my job..and it truly doesn't pay enough.
Ok..let me retype that last statement.
I truly hate my supervisor and the job doesn't pay enough to put up with her shit.

I called in sick today. Was I sick? No..not really. I had been up since two..and I was sick (for a little while..the it was just.. sick of dealing with Atilla the hun)
What did I do? (after I got over the 'sick')  I went job hunting. I had the opportunity for a quick interview today..working in another plant, 5 miles from my home..and I so fucked it up. I know I did. I didn't answer something the way I should have and instead ..answered it with 'honesty'...
The guy asked me 'why I wanted to leave 'the sweat shop'..and I told him the truth..that the supervisor and I were not compatible..she was brash and well..when she got physical with me yesterday I knew it was time for me to go. That's what I said. SMACK ME IN THE HEAD OK!!
What I should have said was "Because the pay is based on production, and even though I'm on the highest producing team..there is a cap on the wages of 9.99.

And I know I fucked up because he ended the interview very quickly after that.
 DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!  

SMACK ME..someone SMACK ME!!!!!

I feel so bad for doing that..this so could have been my chance of escape from the sweat shop. SERIOUSLY..gawd. I'm so depressed over this..

And just a note, the 'physical' that Atilla got was minor..but she was on me yesterday bad..Yesterday I was her whipping post again. She grabbed my hand and slung it away ..she did this because I wasn't doing it 'her' way..she yelled "NO"..grabbed my hand and slung it away. Ok..not major in the physical market sure..but it still made me know..I DON'T WANT TO WORK HERE!"

And now..I've been all over town and there is nothing..do you hear me NOTHING available. (unless I want to work 2 or 3 different jobs to make up the difference!)

Even if I went "OUT' of town, the difference in pay would get eat up in gas and wear and tear on the car. Someone please tell me .............when it's important..WHY DO WE FUCK UP! wait..WHY DID *I* FUCK UP?


I feel so stuck. So damn stuck.