Queen of Hearts

Well, here it is Wednesday..and Honestly..I'm not much better then I was yesterday afternoon. Yeah, I'm still kicking my ass for my mistake with that quickie job interview yesterday. I can always keep my fingers crossed though.
Again, today, I am faced with dealing with the sweat shop and Atilla...but it's almost like I've lost hope. I'm numb and going to work. I'm afraid I don't care anymore and that scares me. I'm stuck where I am and to keep trying elsewhere without any luck or possibilities just makes me feel...well, hopeless.
I swear, I feel a depression coming on. Funny that.
You'd have thought I would have had a depression come on in a big way when living with Mr. Depressed himself...you know what I mean? And I did to a degree, but not the same kind. I knew I could change that..this, what I'm going through right now..I cannot change. That alone is depressing as hell.

I cannot explain to you in words and make you understand or know how evil and vile this women is that I work for. I've heard a 100 x's over...'Just tell her, buck up against her"...people, there IS NO TELLING HER. She will not let you speak. She is the like the queen of hearts in Alice in Wonderland. The minute you attempt to say anything to her she starts screaming "NO! NO! NO!..I don't CARE! DO YOU THINK I'M HERE FOR YOU! I RUN MYSELF TO DEATH AND YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT HARDER FOR ME..I DON'T CARE! YOU KNOW NOTHING..ABSOLUTELY NOTHING..YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING! YOU'RE LAME!  NO NO NO!!!!
And she'll do this loud enough for the entire plant to hear. And you stand there..with your bare face hanging out, not knowing what to do, being ridiculed in front of everyone.  Near tears.

You stand there..dumfounded. Not knowing what to say and it wouldn't matter if you did..she'll over yell you and never hear you. You can take off to the office and tell them what's going on and they'll pull her in the office and try to talk to her, she'll rant and rave and stomp around in there and be told to leave the office..she'll get 'points' against her, but she'll keep her job. They won't fire her. It's happened tons of times with others before me already..and nothing is ever done. Ever.
In her book, you are a piece of shit, stupid a 'dumb ass white american'..and she hates us. She shows it too. She has no respect for you, none. She doesn't care what she calls you, what she says to you, she knows she'll not get fired, she knows she can get by with this kind of abuse..and trust me, she heaps it upon you..daily.
How would you feel to have to go to work daily (because you have no choice) and be told you're stupid, treated like you can't think for yourself..a pawn in her game of 'queen'..??

I've never in my life met anyone like this women. What I am about to say is going to shock the shit out of you, but Dementor has nothing on her. NOTHING.
It's like I jumped from one Dementor straight to the Queen of Dementors. Worse then what I was already dealing with. By a long shot.

(sigh) I must go get ready for my daily punishment.
Have a great day..

The knave of hearts

Sage