Christmas Spirit..where are you?

Why has the Christmas spirit not hit me yet?  Did I miss 'his/her' visit? what?

Is it because I've had to live and be tormented by scrooge incarnate all year long? what?

Is it because money is tight this year?? Hell...that's nothing new really..it's always tight.

I even started watching Christmas movies yesterday..still, nothing is working.
The very thought of putting up the tree seems like 'work' to me. WHY?

Should I be worried?
Has scrooge rubbed off on me?
(maybe I should take a very very hot shower and scrub it off)

Could it be because my house is chaos right now and it may not be ready by Christmas? What?

Is it because our weather hasn't turned cold enough?

Christmas is only 20 days away. Can I find the spirit of it by then?

Is it because I'm a menopausal crone?

My shopping is 99% complete....but I'm not.
What is going on here?

Two years ago I had x-mas trees and decorations all over the house..yep, including the bathroom!

Last year I was much better then this year, but not as much as the year before.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Or is there anything wrong with me?

Oh Christmas spirit..where are you?

Someone, tell me how to find it.

Where is it hiding?

That feeling of being 'overwhelmed' is trying to creep back in. I can feel it. I don't need it right now..not now.

Just as soon as I get the house 'complete' with it's transformation, I'll have to take it all down and put up the Christmas joy. Is this a job or a nightmare? Are we sure it's not Halloween still?

Maybe I'm just getting old. Ya reckon?

Some days it feels like I have far too much to do, but on the flip side of that coin, I have all the time in the world. I have the same amount of time as everyone else...yet, I cannot seem to accomplish the things I want to accomplish. Which then leads to a depression of sorts, becoming overwhelmed.. because I didn't get it done, which leads to more lackadaisical attitude because I feel like I can't get it done,  which continues the viscous cycle. WTH?

I woke this morning with all the brightness in the universe, dreaming of 'getting it done'..thinking the spirit would visit me today. And here it is 3 hours later and all I've accomplished to do is, check the net, read the news, clean the kitchen and take out dinner. What the hell is wrong with me??

Is anyone else having these problems? Is it in the air? Is it in the water?
(sigh)
OH well, I'm off to continue look for the Christmas spirit. Maybe...just maybe today..it'll show up.


The Crone of Christmas Past

Sage