Blankets of Doom and visit from Aunt Flo

Day two:

Yep..that's what I said, day two.
Let me explain.
For the past few weeks, I have been under a blanket of black. I don't believe it was the Dementors fault either.
Then who's fault was it?
I can only lay blame at the feet of Mother nature. I'm wondering if I did something lately that really pissed her off, cuz boy she played hard ball with me.
Let me start off by telling  you, I haven't had a visit from Aunt Flo in 8 months...did you hear that..EIGHT MONTHS!
(woohoooo..dancing a jig)

That was ..untill last Monday. And on that fateful day, Aunt Flo decided it had been far to long since she had come for a visit and she showed up bold as brass on my front door.

(stayed a whole damned week too I might add)

For a solid week before all this, I was feeling 'dumpy'. Dumpy in my world means..down in the dumps.
With the onset of Aunt Flo's visit, the dumpy got worse.
Every job or joy set before me seemed far to overwhelming to attend to.
I would look at the dishes I had to do and see not just the few that were there, but a mountain of them that I could not climb over. It was too overwhelming. I'd leave them.

(for a while at least..I'd do them in fits and spurts throughout the day till they were done..)

I'd see the painting that I started weeks ago and think "maybe I'll work on that today" and that too ended up a bigger job then I wanted to attend to.
I'd see all the leaves on the floor that my large Velcro dog had carried in, but the thought of just unwinding the plug wire on the vacuum, much less pushing it about was too daunting a task.
I just could not handle the enormity of any job. EVERYthing, seemed far too much. Far too much work, too much thought, too much everything.

What did I do for those two weeks?
Bemoaned my life (in my head..never aloud), slept, cried, got mad, slept some more and repeat. It wasn't that I 'hated' anything..I just didn't want to deal with anything. (and didn't!)
I slept a lot. In all honesty..it was a bout of depression from hell. It's the only name I can put to it.

(I was like a washing machine stuck on a rinse cycle!)

Sooo..I went away this past weekend. I had to force myself to do it. Many times on the drive to my destination I had convinced myself to turn around and go home. And then, I'd re-convince myself not to. I did make it..finally.

The weekend was good for me. It got me out of the house, I got to meet up with some friends again and I got to talk this garbage out with 1 of 5. Face to face.

1 of 5 suggested that I do a major house cleansing.. The negativity that has been in this house for far to long has taken root and seems to be lingering in all the dark corners and recess. I have to get rid of it.
I agreed. She was right
Another 1 of 5 had suggested I make a space to call my own, that I could retreat to when things got rough around here..she too was right. 

Once I was home again, I was determined to rid myself of the negative and create a happy space all my own. I needed some Feng Sui for sure!

So with both of these ideas in mind,....I set about the daunting task yesterday.
The work is slow going. I'm not rushing.
I have decided this job cannot be 'half assed'. It has to be complete. I have to start with an empty canvas.
I emptied my current guest room. Completely.

(decorations, curtains, furniture..even the closet. ALL OF IT! GONE!)
I've cleaned the empty canvas..walls, ceiling, carpet and windows.

Today, I will give it a spiritual cleansing.

I promise I won't lay back on any candles

(My hair may be short, but I bet it would still catch fire!)

I'll fill the space with my things, things that make me happy. My crafts, my witchy supplies, my altar.
Then I'll move to the next room. And so on and so forth.
I WILL rid this house of it's negativity ...one room at a time..even if it drives me insane!

(and that it may very well do before it's over!)
** There is a reason our mothers gave the house a good 'spring cleaning' once a year..and now it's evident as to why!

The Crone of Shiny Glass and clean Carpets

Sage