Letter to the Sista's

Here we are, another day in Sages Saga of the house/self transformation. I'm two weeks into this chaos and want to be done with it already.
Sometime today or tomorrow I have to go shopping for more cleaning supplies. I'm out of the stuff I use to shampoo the carpets and good old ammonia.

(Sigh..do you know how much I hate having to stop my work to 'go get supplies'?)
I'm trying my best to keep the rules of Feng Shui in my head as I go about this business. I've come across a few things that I know "I don't love' and those items are in a pile to get rid of.
The first rule is the hardest for me I think.
Open your mind and have fun.
Damn, my mind is about as open as it can get and transformation is always a bit chaotic. I am having fun with most of it though.
I'm not sure exactly what it means to 'open the mind' in a Feng shui kinda way..I mean, open it to what? Hmm...maybe this is a learn as you go kinda thing. Who knows. I guess I'll keep at it.

I used to love re-decorating and designing, but this time, as much as I am loving the newness and the idea of a 'me' space, this bout of redecorating has been ..a pain. A huge pain. I think I'm becoming a crotchety old crone! Seriously!

And speaking of croneness...Aunt Flo is surely visiting!  She arrived yesterday bold as ever. I should have known because my other 'crone' symptoms have been greatly reduced for several weeks. Very few hot flashes, headaches & sleepless nights. I should have known.
I can honestly say, the flash-less days were nice. The sleep was great, the lack of headaches has been wonderful, but..I think I hate Aunt Flo worse. Really I do. I've lived with her long enough, it's time for that bitch to find a new resting place!

Now, back to the transformation:
Dementor has been somewhat helpful in all this transformation (for the most part). He knows I've been busy during the day with all the cleaning and moving and moving and cleaning. He's done the dishes twice, emptied the dishwasher twice....

 (I almost wish he hadn't as I had to go searching for 1/2 my shit when I cooked the other day)


AND done laundry once. It is unfortunate though, that he did not do any of it with a 'I'll help you' attitude he did it with a 'I'm taking up your slack' attitude. Some things never change.

He's been fairly forgiving as far as the chaos that the house is in right now. Said very little about it.
Till yesterday that was.
He started saying how he wanted things and what I should and shouldn't do. (EXCUSE ME?)
Hmm...it pissed me off  made me mad.
I'm doing this make over, not him. This is MY house..not his and it's ME who does 98% of the work in it so it's me I should consider when I try to make things 'roll smooth' ...don't ya think?

He can just stick his ideas and his likes and dislikes where he keeps his head the sun don't shine. Until he takes over the housecleaning/cooking..he can keep his trap shut about it. That's all I have to say about that.

Funny thing is, he won't balk me on what I do..for long. He'll bitch and moan about it for a while, then he'll let it go, until one day when he's pissed off about something and then he'll bitch and moan again. Too bad. That's it..just too friggin bad.
And speaking of Dementor.....guess what I got him for xmas?? This is sweet!!!
(In an evil sort of way)  
Take a look.  T-SHIRT
Yeah..it's evil.. yeah..I love it..and yeah, he needs a real membership. I think he could SOOO be president of a local chapter!  We don't normally share gifts at xmas, (because he's scrooge incarnate and hates xmas!) but this year, I could not resist that shirt.
Evil ain't I?
Sad part about it is..he'll wear it with absolute pride..he'll be proud he's an official member. ANYONE else would take it as a hint, but ohh no, not him. He'll take it as pure genius and swear he is the CEO!
He truly finds joy in his dementor attitude. He'll tell you.."I never smile, smiling hurts". (and trust me..he's telling the truth..he never smiles and I do believe it hurts him)
I think he's expecting a sainthood from me on the help he's given ..HAHAHAHAH..that is laughable!

(only if I can pummel him over the head with the hot thurible while I grant him that sainthood)

Ahh well, I guess it's time for me to be up and about continuing this transformation. Have a great day Sista Crones..and think about a transformation for yourself in the upcoming year.

The Crone of Pummeled Sainthood

Sage

A Challenge for you

Not in the too distant future we will embark on a new year. It has been my habit for many years to draw cards on the new year.
When I draw cards, I mean a divination of sorts with special divination cards. It tells me what to expect for the upcoming year. It is nothing written in stone, and nothing specific either.

I usually pull one animal totem card for the year. This tells me what to expect in terms of the habits and nature of the animal.
Will it be the butterfly this year that starts as a caterpillar, surviving until it's time to cocoon itself only to be born again with diaphanous wings of freedom?
Or perhaps the Badger that fights to the bitter end for itself and family whenever an intruder threatens it's boundaries? 
Maybe this year it will be something even more elusive such as the owl that only comes out at night to feed and watch the shadows grow long, the overseer of darkness.
Who knows? 
Either way, that animal totem will tell me what I may expect within myself and what the upcoming year may have to offer me.  Possibly to show me how I may have to react, or the courage I'll need to carry with me in order to get through the things this year will bring with it. I love pulling the animal totem cards, just for this purpose. We all need a totem once in a while.

Then I will pull three more cards from a different deck. I use these simply as an overview of the entire new year that lies before me. Of these three cards, the first will tell of the early part of the year, the second for the middle part and the third for the final closing of the year. (divided equally with 4 months in each part). As I said, this is just a general overview of my year ahead.

One can get much more detailed and draw a card for each month of the upcoming year, and if I have a feeling or read something in the cards previously drawn, I may do this, but usually the overview is enough.

Remember, to write down the cards you draw and their meanings. Keep them somewhere so you can refer back to them.
This is a reminder, we may all want to take a look at what our future may have in store for us.
So pull out your cards now, start shuffling them and touching them. Keep them close. Get them ready to read for YOU.

Maybe this would be a good year to start a diary of sorts. A grimoire, book of shadows or just a magical guide for your personal use. Call it your Journal of Journeys, because all of life is a journey ..take verbal pictures with your journal so you can look back and reflect at the end of the year at how far you've come, where you could have made better choices and what you may want to continue or give up doing for the next year.
Let that be a challenge for you in the upcoming  year..one habit. Get a book ( I suggest a 3 ring binder and a new pack of paper. Fill the book with the paper. Decorate the book) Now..the habit is... writing in your journal of journeys. Whether you decide for a once a week session, a daily session or even a once a month, either way, make it a habit.
Take the time to write. This is just for you. Put it in a safe place and don't worry about grammar or spelling. At the end of next year, you can decide what to do with it. Burn it, keep it, keep parts of it and burn the rest. It's your book,, do what you wish with it.
Include magical workings, thoughts, misgivings, good times, bad times, arguments, include in it what you want. Did you feel good today? Accomplish something you've wanted to do for a long time? Hated the day, burnt the toast?
Well hell..write about it. You'll feel better. Really you will.


The Crone of burnt toast and journals

Sage

Riding a Feng Shui broom

As many of you know, I am in the process of great change. House change, personal change..let's just call it a complete reformation in life. (part of the reason for this blog)

Dementor sometimes makes life unbearable for me, so I am having to find 'new life' without his input or disturbance.
First was this blog..second was connecting with an old friend (1 of 5) and joining up with her to do things beyond the scope of home and dementor (SCA; camping, medieval recreation, sewing sit-ins, etc)

(it is a help that she lives 2 hours from me..because a visit means total escape for a weekend!)

And finally, coming up from what seems to have been a meltdown and taking the advise of the DIL
(read: 2weeks of depression and feelings of being overwhelmed with everything)........
She gave me the idea of a personal sanctuary to call my own. A place in which I could escape away from the dementor when his presence was just too much.
She was right, what I needed was a space of my own. I thought it was a wonderful idea.

I've had a space of my own before but it was purely for creative endeavors (IE: Crafts/sewing).
The idea for this new space is one of an 'escape space'..somewhere I can go to relax, veg out and be away from the blackness dementor emits. (as well as a crafting area..it's to be a combo area)
A "ME" space.  I have been on that trek for many weeks now.

My thoughts on the idea have expanded to not just a 'me' space, but to bring back a 'me' that had dissapeared, as well as a major cleansing & cleaning one room at a time!!!!

(I know what I'd REALLY like to cleanse and purge from it!!)

This cleanse is twofold. It is allowing me to clean each room, like a spring cleaning, and to cleanse the rooms individually of any negativity that others had imparted into them.

That simple idea has lead me into a realm I did not expect.
Over the past weeks as I have been moving things here and cleaning there, I've realized that I may have 'too much stuff'. Not stuff that I don't love and appreciate trust me it's more like..well..this: Sometimes in life when we are missing something in one area, we tend to fill it up in other areas to try and counteract the void. I think I've done that over the last 4 years or so.

Yesterday I started giving some serious thought to new arrangements and current decorations.
(mid furniture move I might add)
We all know how the brain works, one thought will lead to the next and a new idea and that to another and that to another and so goes the train. The next thing you know you've either wasted the whole day or you've had a ephiphany.

Yesterday I had both!

I'm highly considering a more 'minimalist' attitude in my home. Not enough to make it cold and stark and not complete minimalist, just 'somewhat minimalist'. At the same time, I feel I need to rid myself of some of my 'clutter stuff'...(would rather it be dementor..but eh). I want to bring the witchy back into my home.


DIL brought me a book over the weekend about Feng Shui and I've been skimming through it since early this morning. It's funny how the idea of minimalist came to me yesterday and the book seems to key in on just that. Not so much a getting rid of everything, but a basic rule is keep only that which you love.

Don't clutter your house with things that produce bad memories and evoke wrong attitudes.

I did some internet research this morning on Feng Shui as well. Here are the top five key rules in this concept.

1. Open your mind and have fun.
2. Get clear on your intention.
3. Get rid of everything you don’t use or love.
4. Clean and organize your home.
5. Start making adjustments slowly.

I figured you guys could play along with me. Maybe do a little Feng Shui of your own.

So..onto rule #1

1. Open your mind and have fun.
I will do my best, but I can tell you ..dementor makes a difference. He likes to bitch about things I do, just for the pure pleasure of bitching. Soooo what I will do instead is open my mind and have fun in my 'me space'...and in the rest of the house, reign it in a bit!


2. Get clear on your intention
This one is easy is to bring back the me that I have let die, to bring joy back to my life and house.
(with or without dementor)
To bring back the creativity that seemed to have gotten lost at the same time the real me did. To create a space in which I can escape to in times of need.
To CLEAN more than just dirt!

(and trust me, I fully intend to put an altar and working area for magic in the 'me space')


3. Get rid of everything that you don't use or love.
This one will be an experiment in will power. I have so much I love (very little I don't use), but I will have to be stodgy in my choices of 'love and really love'.

(Does this mean dementor too?? I mean..it's part of the rules ..get rid of everything you don't use or love...can I puhlease?!!)

4. Clean and organize your home
Working on it! One room at a time!

5. Make adjustments slowly.
Well, I've been at this for several weeks now..I do have a finish goal date of course, but if I don't finish exactly at that time, I'm not going to panic. I'll deal with it and move along as best I can. There are certain things in life, such as a change of life that one cannot rush. I am not rushing. This must be exact and perfect for me.
FOR ME..did you read that?? FOR ME! not for anyone else, not for the big bad who sleeps in my bed..not for anyone but ME!

I am so starting to gain that  'be damned' if I care what anyone else thinks or says attitude. And ya know what?..this Crone is loving it!

Sometimes in life..it's just time for a change. Yep..time for a change.

In Pagan beliefs, we've already had our new year with Samhain (Halloween). In US/world beliefs..the new year is still to come. Either way..I'm hitting the mark on both ends. I'm doing this between the changeover of years..pagan and non.
Join me in the year of change!

The Crone of Minimalist Changes

Sage

The magic broom

Well..if you  read the previous post, I left you hanging with the sweeping.

What you will find in this post, is the magic in a witches broom. It is strong magic and it does work as long as you do it with honest heartfelt sincerity. Let me give you some history.

Many many years ago, I had a visitor. She was here to stay for a week. I didn't want her here. She was an idiot to stay the least. I put up with her for 3 days. (she had 3 more to go) when I had had enough. I wanted her gone gone gone do you hear me..I meant..GONE!

When I was very young, someone told me once (and old crone she was) that if you ever wanted to rid your house of the 'company' or anyone for that matter, that you had to pull out your broom and sweep the dust from their feet back out the door they came in.

Well..needless to say..I did exactly that.
This little spell DOES WORK do you hear me.
So here's what I did.
I got out my broom..and I began sweeping my kitchen. Not missing one inch of floor. As I swept I chanted (silently in my head mind you)
Dust of the floor
Dust from your shoe
In you came and now out with you!

Or you could say:

I sweep the dust of your feet from my door may you quickly follow and be gone!

Easy enough right??
You can make up your own words, either way the point is..you must sweep and the whole time you are sweeping keep in mind that this is dust from his/her shoes and you are removing it from your home just as you want them removed from your home.

Ok..so now, back to my sweeping.
I'm sweeping away and in my head chanting and with great feeling wanting this women out of my house. NOW! Out the door the dirt went (you can't put it in the trash..oh no! You have to sweep it out the door and off the steps ..with a flourish I might add...and great intent!)
I come back into my house..broom in hand and as I'm putting it away..
(I had JUST released the broom from my hand) when this women jumps from the couch and starts gathering her things.
The whole time she's gathering she's saying stuff like:
:I really must go home, I need to go ahead and leave now, yes, I'll go home early. I really must. I've just decided I should go home."
I looked at her with complete understanding..saying "It's ok, I understand..no problems' while inside I'm giving off the maniacal crones cackle..oh yes!

Come today. The Dementor is not going fishing??? !!! WHAT???

Ohhh hell no. We'll see about that.
So I grabbed my broom and I began to sweep. The whole time I'm sweeping in my head I'm saying stuff like..I don't need you here today, I want you gone from me today, get out on the boat today, fish the afternoon away..as goes the dust from your feet..so goes you!

Before I had finished flinging the dirt off the porch, Dementor was putting on his clothes and packing his lunch cooler.

<insert maniacal crones laughter here>

I have the day to myself. This afternoon I'll be attending my granddaughters 3rd birthday party. ALONE. I know this, because as the dementor was heading out the door I asked "are you planning on being back in time for the party?" His reply
"I wasn't planning on it!"
In my mind as the maniacal crone laughter begins again ..I'm thinking "Yeah..but five minutes ago you weren't planning on going fishing either!"

<insert more maniacal crone laughter>
Ohh the love of a broom.

The Crone of Broom Spells

Sage

The Lawnmower's broke

Many years ago, I used to teach a class on paganism.
(TRULY..witchcraft, but hey..trying to keep people from running away here)

At the very beginning I told everyone that if they didn't take the time to study on the things we were doing, then it showed they really didn't care, and I didn't need people in class that 'didn't care'.
My Excuse Motto was "My lawnmower's broke"..because in my book, any excuse was just as good as another, because excuses were simply a way of saying 'I didn't care enough' to do it. Easy enough right?

Since that time, this has been a long running joke in our house "my lawnmower's broke'...for people who gave excuse after excuse for not doing something. (the dementor does not know this joke)

It just so happens that Dementor had planned on going fishing on Friday, so early Friday morning he gets up and goes out to prepare things. Within 1/2 hour he was back in the house slamming and throwing things, madder then a hornet!
I knew what was wrong. I had heard him try to start the lawnmower (riding type)..and it would not start. (He uses it to pull his boat out of its parking space and get it lined up with the truck)
As I emerge from the bathroom..amidst all this throwing and slamming I asked "What's wrong?" Did I ask this in a harsh tone? NO..was I loud? NO..matter of fact I said it very softly..

Herein lies the exchange between the two of us

Me: "What's wrong?"
D: The goddamned lawnmower won't start. (said with venom and volume!)
D: AND NO! I'm not going fishing! (which he yelled..from this point on..he didn't stop yelling)
(notice I had said nothing before this outburst)

(Immediately I thought of the "My lawnmowers broke excuse. I stood there and had to realize he really was pissed off and not going fishing because the lawnmower would not start. Are you serious?
So..I had to ask)

Me: "Because the lawnmower's broke?" I did not say this much more above a whisper mind you and was very serious when I asked, manly because I couldn't believe what I was hearing!!!
D: THATS RIGHT!
At this point, I knew..and I simply walked out the bedroom door.
just after I brought the door to a close.
D: yelled; "YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT THAT?!!" ..
Rage flew into me..and I jerked the door back open..and stood there for the milli-second looking at him...he was waiting. He wanted a fight. .I simply said nothing, shook my head in a manner which very clearly indicated "you are not worth my time" and again, closed the door.
Since his first attempt didn't work, he figured he'd give it one more shot and said
D: "THAT's WHAT I THOUGHT!"
Again, I repeated the same action and this time I was ready to pummel the hell out of this man..beat him to a bloody stump..I flung the door open one more time....but instead of giving him what he wanted..I simply whispered
Me: "You will not bait me today"
And walked out, bringing the door to a close very gently.
I heard his reply and it was that of a 2 year olds
D: "JUST DON'T ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS!"

What was the rest of our day like?? Silent.
I made breakfast for my kiddos, Bacon and waffles.
(My son, DIL and granddaughter were sleeping when all of this was going on)

Dementor knew I was making breakfast..he sulked in the bedroom.
A few hours later he emerges and informs me he's going to get the part to fix the lawnmower.

The day wore on..he even thought at one point, this was going to 'pass over'..and I was going to forget the whole exchange..he smiled at me and made a comment about him being superman because he had fixed it. I simply turned and walked away..saying nothing.

So get this. This morning.. I was sitting on the couch when he got up.
He doesn't say anything, just shuffles across the floor like an old man..gets him some coffee and comes SITS NEXT TO ME ON THE COUCH! WTH????
He NEVER sits with me on the couch. The couch is MY domain damnit!

Immediately I knew..he was trying to 'make up'. OH HELL NO!  In my head I'm thinking ....JUST WHO IN THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS??

I sat there on the laptop finishing my game of solitaire and ignoring him for about 5 minutes. During that 5 minutes ..he makes the statement that he doesn't think he's going fishing today.

(blink blink..his boat is outside waiting. He's got it all set up to go fishing...blink blink)
ARGHHHHH! Say it isn't so!...I don't want you around today!)

Then..I got up. I started the laundry, I moved a few more boxes, I did anything I could to let him know..I was not willing to sit next to him on the couch and was not coming back.
(all in the most of pleasant of ways...outwardly at least)
It was then that I knew, I was going to have to weave the spell and do some old magic I learned many years ago.

I grabbed the broom and began to sweep. 

See the next post for what happens. :)

The Crone of the broken lawnmower fiasco

Sage

I've lost a gene somewhere in the pool.

My happy ass has seen the sunrise for about 5 days now. Yep, 4:30 AM..that's what time I've been waking up. whether I'm on the couch or in the bed sleeping...4:30 AM!
I gotta tell ya, I actually love getting up before everyone else, but ya know, there isn't much going on at 4:30 AM..nope..not a lot!

Dementor has been on his best behavior for about 3-5 days now. (blink blink)  
Something must be up.  
(Maybe he's getting some from somewhere else... Ya reckon?  LOL)
Dayum..he even washed the dishes the other morning!!! (faint dead away)
I tell you, something is up. I just haven't figured it out yet!

Yesterday evening..I was doing my 'coupon' thing getting ready for my shopping trip today and of course, Dementor had 'the race' on.
Now, I have to tell you, I hate..hate hate hate racing. I hate most all sports honestly, but racing..is such a waste of gas, in a time when we don't need to be wasting anything! The sound is about as annoying as..well I digress.

I'm sitting on the couch, happily cutting out coupons, checking sale papers and making my list. The announcer for the race is saying this and that..and then it dawned on me. Race fans must be idiots.
The announcer or 'hosts' were saying things that were obvious to any fool like it was a news flash or something. I just was flabbergasted.
I mean simple shit like....
"he'll have to cross the finish line to win". Uhmm REALLY? I thought he could just roll up to it and park to win....no duh!
"These two cars have been the fastest cars on the track today!" ...well uuhm gee..if they are placing 1st and 2nd...beating everyone else..I would SUPPOSE they were faster then the others..ya think???

And in the background..the constant "WUHOooooo...WUHOOOooooo" as the cars go round the track..passing the stands where the microphones are. What an annoying sound that is! Reminded me of Damien in "The Omen" when he was running about making that sound..arghhhhhhh!

Can a sport be more irritating then racing? Can someone tell me this?
And for all you race fans out there..too bad. To each his own. You can bitch about 'non-race' fans on your own blog mmmk?

Anyway..enough of that. (gag) can't wait till the season is over.
(honestly, it's never over here..he'll find a replay of ones he didn't see during the season!)

Then..it will be replaced by some other irritating sport that Dementor insists he watches.
..tell me this sistas..
Do your dementors watch fishing? How about golf?

Those are about as exciting as watching the grass grow do you hear me!?
Fishing and golf fall into the same category for me. WHY in the hell..would someone want to WATCH someone fishing is beyond me, much less hitting a little ball into a hole a thousand feet away! (blink blink) And then when they miss the little hole, run around on the grass so they can continue to hit the ball, trying to get it into the hole!
(men and balls in holes..it starts in the bed and ends on the golf course! GEEE!)

Maybe I just have too many other things to occupy my time with then the silliness of sports. 
Maybe I just can't see wasting time on such trivial things as a mans willingness to try to 'beat out another' ....
I just don't get it.
I must have been born without the competition gene. Really.
Are all men (besides gay ones) born with this intense 'competition gene'??
Is it a throwback of the ancient tests of manhood that we civilized humans no longer take part in? What?

Can someone explain this to me?

The Crone of Obvious announcements

Sage

Dementor Rant..and toothbrushes.

As I soaked up the hot shower, trying to clear my head
(Seriously..trying to clear the sinus infection)
I realized my plan was not working. Just like the toilet plan, it didn't work either.
The plan?
To see how long I could go without cleaning something before the dementor kicked in and did it.

For months I had not cleaned the shower stall. Now, mind you, I used to clean it everyday.
I have this 'trick' I do to clean it. We all know we hate to clean the tub and or shower..hate it right?
Well, I got smart.
(imagine that!) 
Here's the trick:

I bought soft scrub in a plastic bottle and a scrubby sponge just for the shower. I placed it in the shower stall on one of the lower 'shelves'. Each and every day when I showered, I took 2 minutes to load up the sponge and wash ONE wall. At the beginning of the week, I'd start with the doors and move around each day. By the end of the week, the shower stall was cleaned, took me only two minutes at most..and lo and behold it stayed that way.

(fucking amazing)
Mind you, when I did this, I thought too that the hubs may kick in once in a while and help out with the same process.
(why in the hell I would think such a thing is beyond me!)

Suffice it to say, he never did. I was the only one cleaning the shower (and I was working at the time too, so it wasn't like I was a 'stay home wife')
So..about 2 months ago, I figured I'd try to see how long it would take without the shower stall being cleaned before the dementor either said something, or did it himself.

I'm still waiting.

I tried this same trick with the master toilet too
(which I very rarely use, I might add)
I broke. After 2 months I couldn't stand it anymore and cleaned it myself. How he could use such a nasty piece of equipment is beyond me, but alas, I've come to the conclusion that most men are uncouth. 

Now part of me really really wants to balk about this and never clean it. Seriously. But this is "MY" home..and I can't stand to see it go down the dumps due to this kind of garbage. So I always give in and clean up his mess.
Here's the crux of the situation though. I would NOT mind doing this...(cleaning and such) IF and only IF he'd kick in ONCE IN A WHILE!
WTH?

I have truly come to the conclusion that men (most men) who get married, get married for the sole purpose of having someone else 'do the mundane' and clean up after them.
They get married to have a mother.
They marry for love, sure....the love of the potential that the women has. To treat him like a king and clean his shit bucket. Oh yes sistas...if you're married, it's because you had potential and maid like qualities.

It is EXPECTED that I do all the mundane chores about the house. Most times, I don't mind, really. What I DO mind is that I'm expected to do such things. And if I don't..I hear snide comments and rude remarks under the breath. Sometimes, I've even heard berating like I'm a child!
Damnit it all to hell..I am no child. I am not YOUR child. You are not my father.
When will men learn, this is not the role of husband?

In all actuality, it is he that is the child, because I have to pick up behind, clean behind, prepare food for and do laundry for HIS ass..like a child.

Then back all this up with the looks and disdain that comes from the dementor that I should be earning money for the household. He's tired of busting his hump to earn money we never get to use for anything other then bills and keep our head above water. I hear this a lot.
WTH? Isn't that point?

I have to clean the toilet today..
His toothbrush is right there............
maybe..just maybe


And I probably would if it wouldn't take so damned long with such a small ass brush!

The Crone of toothbrushes and comet

Sage

Night of Hekate

WHEN?:: Sunset 16th to Sunrise 17th


WHAT??:: This is the night when Hekate roams the Earth with her hounds. It is also the night when new initiations are made for Witches who are called to her service or wish to follow her. A traditional offering to Her, also called Hekate's Supper, is honey left on the doorstep in a small bowl. Hekate then blesses those inside. Hekate's Supper was also held at crossroads and She is known as the Goddess of Crossroads.

Hekate, the ancient Greek name for the Triple-Moon Goddess, traditionally represented the three aspects of women: Maiden, Mother, Crone, signifying mind, body, spirit, and birth, life, death. She is now best known in her Crone aspect, represented by the Dark Moon. She is often seen holding a lit torch (enlightenment, wisdom, clarity of vision), keys (knowledge, unlocking the mysteries), and a rope, reminding us to be free of slavery and also the cord of rebirth. Her Sacred Hounds represent protection. Snakes symbolize wisdom and knowledge, especially of the healing arts, as well as the art of prophecy.

She continues to be known as the liberator of women. She is a mighty Goddess and one whose strength can be a model for our lives today, especially as we are Gathering the Women to Sisterhood, and strive to dismantle patriarchy.

WHERE??:: EVERYWHERE!! 


Attend event HERE





So yeah..I plan on making arrangements to do this. I think I need it. Funny how this came along it seems just at the right time huh?


Here's some places for you to learn about Hecate!!


Wikipedia


Encyclopedia Mythica


Hecates Cauldron


The Crone of Tuna Sandwiches (it's what's for dinner)


Sage

Blankets of Doom and visit from Aunt Flo

Day two:

Yep..that's what I said, day two.
Let me explain.
For the past few weeks, I have been under a blanket of black. I don't believe it was the Dementors fault either.
Then who's fault was it?
I can only lay blame at the feet of Mother nature. I'm wondering if I did something lately that really pissed her off, cuz boy she played hard ball with me.
Let me start off by telling  you, I haven't had a visit from Aunt Flo in 8 months...did you hear that..EIGHT MONTHS!
(woohoooo..dancing a jig)

That was ..untill last Monday. And on that fateful day, Aunt Flo decided it had been far to long since she had come for a visit and she showed up bold as brass on my front door.

(stayed a whole damned week too I might add)

For a solid week before all this, I was feeling 'dumpy'. Dumpy in my world means..down in the dumps.
With the onset of Aunt Flo's visit, the dumpy got worse.
Every job or joy set before me seemed far to overwhelming to attend to.
I would look at the dishes I had to do and see not just the few that were there, but a mountain of them that I could not climb over. It was too overwhelming. I'd leave them.

(for a while at least..I'd do them in fits and spurts throughout the day till they were done..)

I'd see the painting that I started weeks ago and think "maybe I'll work on that today" and that too ended up a bigger job then I wanted to attend to.
I'd see all the leaves on the floor that my large Velcro dog had carried in, but the thought of just unwinding the plug wire on the vacuum, much less pushing it about was too daunting a task.
I just could not handle the enormity of any job. EVERYthing, seemed far too much. Far too much work, too much thought, too much everything.

What did I do for those two weeks?
Bemoaned my life (in my head..never aloud), slept, cried, got mad, slept some more and repeat. It wasn't that I 'hated' anything..I just didn't want to deal with anything. (and didn't!)
I slept a lot. In all honesty..it was a bout of depression from hell. It's the only name I can put to it.

(I was like a washing machine stuck on a rinse cycle!)

Sooo..I went away this past weekend. I had to force myself to do it. Many times on the drive to my destination I had convinced myself to turn around and go home. And then, I'd re-convince myself not to. I did make it..finally.

The weekend was good for me. It got me out of the house, I got to meet up with some friends again and I got to talk this garbage out with 1 of 5. Face to face.

1 of 5 suggested that I do a major house cleansing.. The negativity that has been in this house for far to long has taken root and seems to be lingering in all the dark corners and recess. I have to get rid of it.
I agreed. She was right
Another 1 of 5 had suggested I make a space to call my own, that I could retreat to when things got rough around here..she too was right. 

Once I was home again, I was determined to rid myself of the negative and create a happy space all my own. I needed some Feng Sui for sure!

So with both of these ideas in mind,....I set about the daunting task yesterday.
The work is slow going. I'm not rushing.
I have decided this job cannot be 'half assed'. It has to be complete. I have to start with an empty canvas.
I emptied my current guest room. Completely.

(decorations, curtains, furniture..even the closet. ALL OF IT! GONE!)
I've cleaned the empty canvas..walls, ceiling, carpet and windows.

Today, I will give it a spiritual cleansing.

I promise I won't lay back on any candles

(My hair may be short, but I bet it would still catch fire!)

I'll fill the space with my things, things that make me happy. My crafts, my witchy supplies, my altar.
Then I'll move to the next room. And so on and so forth.
I WILL rid this house of it's negativity ...one room at a time..even if it drives me insane!

(and that it may very well do before it's over!)
** There is a reason our mothers gave the house a good 'spring cleaning' once a year..and now it's evident as to why!

The Crone of Shiny Glass and clean Carpets

Sage

The Monster in my room

Today, the Gumption Goblins had their way with me..ohh yes they did. The invaded my world early and stayed on without notification of their visit.
(There are some visitors you just wish would never come) 

Exactly what are the Gumption Goblins?..well they are these little men that get in your head, have a party in your body and use any willpower you may have as footstools.

See, when I woke up this morning I had all the gumption in the world, daydreaming of all the things I would accomplish on this fine fall day!
Until my feet hit the floor. That's when the Gumption Goblins will attack see..as soon as your feet hit the floor. They hide under the bed..the little buggers.

I know you all remember the childhood fear of 'something grabbing your ankle as you step next to the bed. Seriously, how many of you did this in your youth.
Here goes.
It's bed time, which means, it's time to turn out the light.
Your light switch is on the other side of the room from the bed..and you just KNOW that as soon as you turn off that light and walk across the room a hand will come out from under the dark recesses of your bed and grab you, dragging you down to wherever it is that under the bed monsters hide.
You psych yourself up as best you can and prepare the room.  You arrange the bed, turning back the covers then make sure there is NOTHING on the floor that could possibly trip you up between the light switch and the bed.
Now..everything is set and you head to the light switch. Put your hand on the switch, and stretch yourself out as far as possible, so that you only have to take two huge leaping jump steps before that final leap onto the bed.  "CLICK" boom boom..jump and WHEW..you made it.
Hide quick! Under the covers you go, because you KNOW you can't leave any of your body outside of the covers...the blankets are a cloak of invisibility in disguise. They keep any monsters, ghosts or oogie things in the night from seeing you..or better yet, TOUCHING YOU!
They can't touch you under the covers you know! There you are...safe in your bed, all body parts under the covers..all is right with the world.

(sigh)

Was I close? Did you do this as a child?
I did. Every night of my life..oh yes I was very very aware of the 'under the bed monsters' in the dark, at night.

Somehow though..someone failed me in my youth. No one EVER told me about the monsters under the bed in the morning.
The Gumption Goblins.
They will strike when you least expect it. As soon as you put your feet on the floor in the morning they creep up and jump into your toes without you even being aware they are there. They become flat and invisible as soon as they touch you and by the time you make that first trek to the bathroom, they've soaked into your skin and started invading your bloodstream. All the day dreams you've just had about the magnificent accomplishments you intend to get done that day start disappearing. The Gumption Goblins start eating them from the feet up. It's breakfast for them.
You may actually get the first morning things accomplished before they finish their feast of your day dreams, but after that first accomplishment, the couch will become a welcome site for you....

You'll bemoan the fact that you have no 'energy'..no desire to do any of the things you dreamed about. It will just seem like far to much 'work' to get any of it started.

Oh the little devils...they will rob you of the day before you realize it. A nap will be in order and you'll think to yourself..I'll nap for an hour... and you'll sleep while the Goblins have a party, eating up all your gumption.

Oh yes, my friends, think not that I kid you about these little monsters. They will eat every bit of gumption you have..all your day dreams, all your 'wanna do goals'..all the accomplishments you wanted to produce that day..is fodder for the Goblins. It's like Thanksgiving for them. And they love it!

When you wake, 4 hours have gone by and all you have time to do is get dinner made....and even then, if there was a way to get out of that you would.

(sigh)

They won't disappear until the sun sets..and you crawl back into your bed for the night. Then, they will slink out of you like a silk scarf in a wind storm. Sliding from your feet and over the edge of the bed to retreat back into the darkness under the bed to sleep off their feast of the day. Like poison mercury they will roll into the darkness to wait. If you're too loud when you get up in the morning, they'll hear you and be on the ready waiting for your feet to hit the floor, once again.

Welcome to my world today. :)
It was not pretty..the goblins are still here.

The Crone of Under the bed Goblins

Sage

The Menocoaster to hell

Welcome to Menohell's Roller Coaster, please bring the bar over your head down in front of you until you hear it click into place. Keep your arms and feet in the car at all times. Secure any loose items and hold on for the ride of your life.

WHEEE..up and down, up and down, over this hill and that hump, down into the pits of hell and back up again.
Yep..that's me today.
It started yesterday I think. This is somewhat of a continuation of the previous post but on a more personal level. I'm not sure anyone else would feel this way, unless of course, they have a dementor like mine. And I can't say for sure it's all about the Dementor today either.

This is another one of those days where I woke up mad. Don't ask me why, I just did. I couldn't sleep. My back hurt and just being next to another body in my bed was irritating me. I wanted to lash out and beat the crap out of my tormentor who in my mind, happened to be laying next to me.

(Better to get up, get some coffee and release some energy here then on him huh?)

Now, the bigger question is why do I feel this way. I mean, when I first woke, I could have easily packed my bags and left here forever, for good, that's just how irritated I was. I wanted nothing more then for the dementor to go away and never return, or I was leaving. I felt disgusted by him, hated him. Just the close proximity of this snoring monster was enough to make me think vile abnormal things. I felt as if I could scratch his eyeballs out.

(These really are the kind of days in which I do question my own sanity)

I loathed the thought of him just breathing in my space.  
(The pillow was looking very inviting)

Seriously ladies, this is bad. The feelings have somewhat subsided since I removed myself from the bedroom, but not by much. As I wrote yesterday about screaming and jumping upon your prey, this is how I am today, but with more of a hatred then I know how to describe. In my mind, I cannot believe such a vile person as this exists and *I* live with him! In my mind, I want him to just go away.
Seriously..just go away. Don't ever come back. EVER!

I'm sure part of this is due to the hormonal rolllercoaster of Menohell that I boarded yesterday...I'm sure of it. I'm also sure that the other part of this is due to Dementor's attitude yesterday.

If I had just met this man yesterday with this attitude, I would have with the quickest of haste dismissed him from my presence immediately. He would NOT have been someone I would have ever cared to get to know or spend (waste) any time with.

He was obnoxious, rude, accusatory, suspicious and downright horrible. This was one of those days where..even a news cast brought 'negative' comments from him. And I don't mean one newscast, I mean ALL of them. Hell, it didn't have to be a newscast..all it had to be was an advertisement for something and he found something negative or opposite to say about it. Yesterday..he felt in his mind that he was "the great him'.......he was all there was and there was no one else with an opinion or thoughts on anything, and the great him was right damnit. End of conversation.

And MONEY..ohmygawd, money is his driving force. He hates spending it, or should I say he hates ME causing him to have to spend it. ANYTHING that is an expense to him, that I am the reason for..it's bitch and moan time..it's speech time......he is so money driven..he can't make enough. He wants more, he wants no bills, he wants this and that..gawd, I might hate money more then him. No..I hate his attitude about it.

It is unfortunate that I had to go to sleep with this attitude riddled man last night, because I'm very positive this is why I woke with such hatred for him. Such loathing. I can't stand people like that.

When I woke the first time it was 2am. I knew I could not get up then..I felt the evil hate creeping in. I forced myself back to sleep. When I woke the second time it was 3:45..and the passion in which the loathing had grown was far too much for me to try and go back to sleep. I knew I had to get up and remove myself from the dementors invasion.

Is this a hormonal hell rollercoaster, or is this truly how I'm starting to feel toward my dementor? Is it both ...or none of the above?  Is this my mind slipping down a slippery slope that I cannot get a grip on?

Seriously, these are the days I question my sanity..today is one of them.

ANGER..that's what I feel..deep in my chest, like a growing baby..anger at...............at..the only person available to me..the dementor. (with good reason though I might add)

I want to 'clean house'..and I mean wipe every bit of his existence out of it. That's the kind of cleaning I'm talking about. It's like I feel he has invaded my space and I have lost it. I no longer have any say or any purpose here other then to clean and cook for him. My home is no longer my home.And I hate him for it.

How do we get rid of this anger? Do you have this? What have you tried? I need some help here, or I fear the worst.
This is one of those days that I truly truly wish gas was still cheap...I'd simply fill the tank, grab some coffee and drive ....music loud..and drive..music off.....and drive. Till the anger subsided.

I'm at a loss.

The Crone of  Not so Merry Maids

Sage

Rm 13..Motel Hell

Sisttaaass!
(said in her best Bette Midler 'Hocus Pocus' voice)

Let's chat shall we?
You know, there are a few menohell symptoms that are not on the list. Let's talk about one of those shall we?

Let's talk about.......the psychotic lightening days.    Yep, you read that right. Psychotic Lightening

These days are a living hell. You're on edge...all day, for two days or more. Every nerve you have has been zapped by some strange electrical current that you cannot unplug from. Your skin will actually feel oogie..you won't want it on you!
(how weird is that!?)
You'll pace and act like a cat covering up shit in a shit storm.
You'll jump and be willy nilly all over the place.
Nothing will satisfy you, nothing will work and nothing feels right.
Your entire world is off kilter and you can't get it straight no matter what.
You'll get upset easily, you'll snap at people for no reason and no one can do anything right for you.
You can't keep your mind on any one thing for more than a minute ..this will drive you mad!
Your world has just turned into a hormonal storm.  A tornado of madness that is set on destroy mode.

You could easily scream in outrage and pounce on someone, wishing you could beat them to a bloody pulp... just as easily as you could suddenly cry a river of tears as you crumble into a lump on the floor wishing the world and everyone in it would just disapear.

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!!!


(The last time I had one of those 'pouncing on someone and beating them to a bloody pulp days'..I'm sure you can guess who I wanted to beat. oh yeah.)

I can suggest a few things that you do not want to do on these days. Stay away from chick flicks..sob stories..love dramas and weddings.
Seriously..you'll cry all day. For no damned reason. None at all. You'll just cry. You'll feel like a hormonal nine year old girl or the teenager who screams and bursts into tears as they stomp out of the room and slam the door on their unfair parents!

And if someone catches you crying and makes the grave mistake of giving you that 'tut tut' look (or sound) heaven help them, because those tears can change to fire ball eyes of hate so quickly you'll swear you're a ninja cat as you pounce on the victim spitting at them with everything you've got!

(in your mind you'll suit up ninja cat style & commence to clawing the 'tut tut' individual into tiny tiny nondescript pieces)
 
Seriously, if on the off chance someone...ANYONE makes a remark your way about your 'mood' you'll either go into a fit of rage or you'll cry even harder. No telling what the hormonal psychotic lightening days will bring in a situation like this.

(if you go crazy ninja mode, make sure it's only in your hormone rattled mind.........mmK?)

These days usually bring along with them the greatest desire to 'be alone'.  You won't want to talk or spend time with anyone.  Period. No excuses, no acceptions, no one! Period. If you even try you'll be contrary and ill mannered, you won't be able to keep your thoughts on any conversation because all you can think of is how much you want this annoying person to go away!

(This is a serious thing, really, this could be your best friend, but on that day, they'll be an annoying pain in the ass)

You know what I say to this? Go for it. Lock the doors, turn off the phone and go into hiding. It won't last forever, a week at most. If you're friends and enemies can't do without you for a week, they have more problems then you need to deal with.

This Sissttaa Crones is just one of those horrible horrible 'menohell' symptoms that people don't like to talk about, discuss or even admit exists. You will find it on very few lists.
WHY is this?
Because it's almost the same as saying "for about a week I go a little insane."
People will worry that you're not normal and take it upon themselves to do their duty and suggest you 'see someone'.

(matter of fact, when you hear this..you'll immediately go ninja cat mode and pounce on the person who is suggesting such a ludicrous thing!)

Well, I'm here to tell you, this exists, it's real. It's like your mind is living in a hurricane..spinning all over the place.
It's hell week..and not on a college campus but in your own mind and all over your body.
Welcome to Motel Hell where you have to live for a week.


The Crone of Room 13 in Motel Hell

Sage