It's Wonka time!

And I don't mean chocolate.
In the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie
(the one with Gene Wilder....btw..he's GREAT in that role)
Violet is the girl who chews gum and gets a piece she should not get. In the end, it turns her into a huge, bloated, rolling blueberry. Well, just call me Violet!
No..I'm not purple (and I quote "You're turning violet Violet!")

But I sure am 'round and rolling' like Violet was.
Dinner is over and the Violet syndrome has hit. Round as a blueberry. Yep, it's Beer Barrel time!

(I'm waiting for the umpa lumpa's to show up and roll me to the juicing room!)


Now I wait for the next two symptoms to appear...gas and possibly diarrhea  
(funny word there isn't it? diarrhea...hmm)
I keep having this commercial run through my head..the commercial for 'beano' .."Take beano before and there'll be no gas."  I seriously have my doubts this would work for a menopausal crone.
(..does this ever end?)

This must be my punishment for eating Cheetos yesterday. Yup. I love Cheetos...the crunchy ones. I partake of them very rarely matter of fact, but yesterday was one of those rare days.

(took me 3 hours to clean the 'orange Cheeto dust' off my broom handle!)

Add the Chinese food I had the night before and I led myself right into certain doom!
DOOM I tell you!

Oh..just so you'll know, I'm on the downside of the "two week Meno-hell' ..(where all the symptoms of crone-hood hit with a vengeance!)
I will get about a weeks worth of 'easing off' before the damnation hits again in full force. I savor the near normalcy of it. I even have a tendency to get things accomplished during the 'down time' because I surely have gotten nothing done so far this week.

Oh! let me relay to you how bad the wrackspurts hit me yesterday mmmmk?
I had to go downtown and order a part for our red mazda. (..the red mazda is the 'work car' that dementor drives to and from the job, I haven't driven it in over a year)
I have the part in hand that needs to be replaced and walk into the parts store. I hand the part to them and say "Hubs said..'match it'.." and of course, they start asking me questions:  Herein is the conversation;

Clerk: "what does it go on?"
Me: "a car"
Clerk: "what kind of car?"
Me: A mazda..older model
Clerk: "Do you know the year?"
Me: "uhmmmmmmmm 80 something?" (egads..I can't remember..panic starts to hit.. I'm wracking my brain trying to remember what type of mazda because I KNOW this is the next question and for the life of me I cannot remember what the hell type of car other then 'mazda' in my wrackspurt rattled brain!)
Clerk: "What type of Mazda? (I give the clerk a blank stare)...........an rx7?"
Me: Uhmm no, I know it's not an rx7, I'm driving an rx8 now..
Clerk: "It's not a truck right?
Me: No, it's a car.
Clerk: "And you don't know what kind or the year?"
Me: I'm really sorry, I haven't driven the car in near two years and I just cannot remember what it is.

Ohmygawd..I felt soooo stupid!
HOWEVER..all is good, they matched the part put it on order and I picked it up today.
The sad part about all this is..I looked yesterday after I got home to find out what I was forgetting.
You know what......I've forgotten again. All I can tell you is it's an Mazda MX something!
I feel so retarded sometimes.
I hate meno-hell.

The Crone of wrackspurted meno-hell

Sage

PS. It's a 1991 Mazda MX 6