You know...sitting here browsing on my computer, watching things..some of this, some of that, you tube, blogs, pinterest, etc. I realize, some of the art I'm seeing (usually touted as 'new ideas') I've done before..years ago when it wasn't of interest to anyone.
Only me.
People thought I was crazy, people poo pooed it..art was only on a canvas hung on a wall.
I've done them and gave them up and moved on to what was acceptable.
After negative reactions to my 'art' (not because it was bad,..but because it wasn't worthy to be called 'work' AKA....the x)
I finally just moved on and didn't do art anymore. It wasn't looked at as a viable way of life, a decent living or even sometimes a moral one.
I gave up so much of me because I followed what everyone else said was 'just and right'...Everyone else. (X)
Pay attention to that phrase..""Everyone else. Here's the rub." Everyone else" is gone. And now, it's only me.
Only me.
And the creative, wild and sassy artist I once was has been dead and buried for a long long time. Just like the musician I once was. Squished down so hard, scorned and looked at like *I* wasn't viable. *I* wasn't doing 'anything with my life'. (aka 'working') Dead. Dead. Dead.
Now I get pissed off when I see people on You tube making the things I once did in my youth, and becoming well known for it, making money on it and most importantly being themselves. Being an influence on the free spirit of others by being themselves. Being free to be themselves. And for me..it's only me. No free spirit, no creativity, no influence.
Only me.
I wonder if resurrection can occur twice in a world?
I remember so many times saying " i want my job to be my art...I want to make things" and everyone else said 'it can't be done'...everyone else said 'people aren't going to buy homemade things'... everyone else said 'you're wasting your time'. (There is no more 'everyone else...it's only me.)
Who was to blame for this death? There must be a murderer among us. Who is to blame? Only me.
Only me.
Sage, the only me
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