Falling off the Broom

Here it is..Wednesday night and for about 5 days or more now, the gumption goblins, wrackspurts and now the evil tension talons have gotten a hold of me.
Tension talons are nasty talon like claws that clamp into the base of your neck and brain and continue to hurt like hell for days on end.  They creep up your neck on both sides making it uncomfortable to hold you head up or lay it down..either way, it aches, it twinges and it's a literal pain in the neck that seeps into your head.

I'm as confused as a baby at a nudist picnic right now. I don't know whether to cry, scream or go running naked down a dirt path scaring the locals back into their homes in utter repulsion.

I've had a constant headache for 4 days or better and mother nature is still 'schmeering' occasionally.
I feel like I have the certainty of a snail on a roller coaster.

Roller coaster...that's a good word right now. Meno-hell is a roller coaster ride from hell.
I have no desire to do anything, but can't stand doing nothing.

I think I've paced a track in the carpet.

I gaze about the room and think .."I could do this" or "I could do that"..and yet, I do neither. Then I feel shitty for not doing either and berate myself severely but even that is not enough to get me motivated.
I can't think, I can't sleep and I eat out of pure boredom.
I watch T.V. and can't keep my mind on the show so am totally lost 15 minutes in and walk away from it, leaving it running, simply using it for background noise.

(cuz I think if it was quiet in here, I'd go nuts..even though I'd like nothing more then pure silence)

I don't want to talk to anyone yet, I don't want to be alone.

I feel like a cartoon character with a badly written script..
How one can be confused in the chaos of nothingness is beyond me, but that's about where I'm at. Confused, irritated, lost and not in control of anything..in a purely silent chaos of nothing.

Now..that's a mouthful.

If this is what depression feels like, I want nothing to do with it.
If this is what insanity feels like..hell..put me on the short bus cuz I'm already there.
So I ask myself this..is this depression? Insanity? Or just plain menopause?   

Common sense says menopause.
(although..I doubt my common sense gene is in working order right now)

I wonder, has their ever been a case where someone actually goes insane or berserk due to meno hell??
Let me volunteer my services mmk?


I have a thousand things to do and not one of them gets done, nor does any one of them make me 'want' to get up and do. But I can't sit still either.

I toss and turn when I do sleep (and that in and of itself has been very little as of late)..
and when I'm awake, all I can think about is laying down to sleep.

Someone must have put my mind in a round room and told it to go sit in the corner. There isn't one..but my brain is desperately trying to find it. I feel like a loopy blonde (no offense)
but this witch has fallen off her broom.

The Crone of broken brooms

Sage