A Jim Jones night! (WTH?)

Here we are again, another day and another night of fitful sleep.  Welcome to my world. The world of Sleepless Crones.

Last night I had the most horrid of dreams. Funny too because I have not 'dreamed' a dream that I can remember in many moons.
At 11:30pm I trotted off to bed. Dementor was sleeping from corner to corner, smack dab in the middle. I didn't disturb him, just went back to the couch.

(this is not an unusual thing for me)

I immediately fell asleep. (this is a good thing!)
And so the dream begins:
In my dream I was a bit younger then I am now, my mother and father were with me (both having passed over years ago and both a bit younger in my dream). We were in a house I did not recognize. (now here comes the truly truly bizarre part)
We were in the process of committing a semi mass suicide. (meaning just the 3 of us, not thousands)

(BLINK BLINK..WTH?)

It seems my father had convinced us both (my mother and I) to drink some sort of poison..for some reason I want to say it was antifreeze..not too sure about that though. I remember going along with it (all too easy I might add) and feeling my lips and legs begin to tingle after a short while ..I remember asking him "how much longer" and his reply "Should only be a little while now..a few more minutes." So off I go to lay down to finish dying. Flat on my back..arms semi crossed over me.
(blink blink.........uhm..no!)
This whole scenario was done in such a calm, no rush, everyday manner it just baffled me to no end. It was as if this was done pretty regularly!

(WTH?? ME? OH hell no!)

I seem to recall, there was a 'reason' behind this madness but I have no clue as to WHAT!
This is when I woke up and I was in the same position of my dream. (can we say FREAKY!)
I was very surprised to see the time was 2:30am.   Three hours had passed, but when I woke it felt like I had only been asleep for maybe an hour at most.
Now....WHY in the hell would I have a dream such as this? I detest those who take the easy road out and commit suicide.
The first thought in my mind was Jim Jones. Good gawd, what an ass he was! Charismatic ass, but an ass all the same.

So, I've done a bit of research this morning.
Here are a few sites that tell what it means to 'dream of death'..in its many forms. I've starred the ones I like the best.
**Jeremy Taylor; Dream Work
Dream Dictionary on Suicide in dreams
Dream Dictionary  on poison in dreams

It was all very unreal and bizarre. I would NEVER..EVER in my "WILDEST" dreams do something such as this.
So after reading the above sites, I have asked myself this "what have I given up on?".."what am I trying to 'get rid of?" ...and best of all "what has died within me to allow a 'new growth to begin?"
All these are cool questions and ones I probably need to answer. Maybe today is a day for circle time. Meditation and all that. Maybe the gods do speak in mysterious ways.

(all I can say is "GEEZ..find a different way will ya!)

Till then, I'm off to be my croney self and find something to get into. I have a strange feeling it won't be a nap!
Bizarre I tell you...bizarre.

No more late night Chinese for me!

The Crone of " No sleep, must not sleep..(yawn) .."

Sage

Things revisited

A few posts back I mentioned an upcoming camping trip..medieval style. That event has come and gone and I had a blast. Met some new friends, chatted with some old ones and generally enjoyed the hell out of myself. 
It's a cool feeling to know you're responsible for no one but yourself. Really. Very empowering, everyone should try it once in a while. I mean, if I wanted to wander off and check out this thing or that..I could. No one to say "I'm going here or there to..no one to 'seek out' and inform.

( I don't usually 'ASK' permission for anything from anyone, but I do inform others of my intent most days)

During my trip back to the days of Lords and Ladies, Chivalry and War, I met a new friend.
During one of our fireside conversations we hit upon books that we had read and loved.
One of those was the "OutLander" series by Diana Gabaldon. I recommend these books to anyone who has a love of 'time travel' possibilities mixed with the historic middle ages, intrigue and robust, valiant, studly men.

*I think it's time for me to re-read these. Thrift store here I come.

Of course, now that I'm back at the old 'homestead'...things have returned to normal. I'm back to doing dishes, washing clothes and cooking dinner for the Dementor. Matter of fact, there was a small sink full of dishes and a dirty carpet awaiting my care when I arrived home.
(WTH?)
Did I think it would be any different?  Weeel..hell yes I did! He usually makes sure things are cleaned up a bit when I return from a jaunt away from prison home, but not so much this time.

The punishments will now begin for this transgression! 30 days in the stocks!! 

(ohh wait..I'm not in the middle ages anymore am I?..hmm too bad)


WAIT!!  I spoke too soon! Maybe I am! My electric just blinked out (luckily I'm on the laptop.)
Could it be Armageddon? Nuclear Holocaust? Or did some drunk fool hit the power line? Either way, when this happens, and the electric comes back on, my internet service flips me the flying fickle finger and says "fuck you" and refuses to work. It never fails. (copy paste add to word) 
(sigh)
You know what this means right? I'll have to climb my fat ass up on a chair, unplug it all, reset it all, plug it back in and hope with my fingers crossed that it will 'reconnect' and catch up..once the electric comes back on.  The last time this happened, took almost 8 hours to get the connection working again..

Living in the country has it's privileges and then there are those days....

So here I sit, me and my laptop, bitching and moaning about no 'net service'..and no electric and I just relived the middle ages...4 days without either and loved it. (not even a cell phone)..wth is wrong with this picture?? 



**The next day:


This morning, after trying for many hours to fix the problem and consistently failing, I made the fateful call to the phone company that provides my DSL service. A few calls later and a tech was on his way. Once he arrived, he wracked his brain for over an hour too. All the inside equipment was replaced.
(The electrical surge had fried the modem.) 
All the lines inside the house were changed as well as the wall connector. Still, it would not work. After a trip or two under the house to replace more lines, he tried once again. Nada.
Rubbing his head in bewilderment about the whole affair the last possible idea to try hit him. Replace the entire line from the box at the corner to the house. A temporary 'drop' down (what they call it) was put in place, and lo and behold, I had net service again.
(hell of an electrical surge is all I can say)
Total time to work on it and find the issue, 3+ hours.

We went to dinner as soon as he was gone..Chinese..one of my favorites. I fear however, that tomorrow, will be one of the Seven Dwarfs Days..(see bottom of page)..yep, I can feel it now, tomorrow will be the 'Bloated Dwarf' day.  Hey..at least he's cute. :)

Till next time,

The Crone of Fickle Fingered Internet

Sage

The Hairy Itch

Well here we are again, a visit with the Crone.
All the symptoms of Cronehood abounding!
Suffice it to say hot flashes and humidity do not mix. Nay Nay.
If you recall, the 'list' of things a Crone might experience 'itching' was one of them. This had pretty much escaped me for the most part.

(HAD was the key word) 

The itch has started. You REALLY don't want to know where it's started, honest you don't, but I'll give you a clue.

(Hmm how does one say this with tact and decorum?)

Let me put it this way..what does a man with sweaty balls do? He scratches them.  Lately, I've looked like a man with sweaty balls......mmmk?
That is where the itch will happen. Oh yes sister crones, the crotch. It will feel like you're two days out from a complete shave with the hair just starting to grow back. It comes and goes. And before you ask, no I don't 'have' anything. No yeast infection, no other type of infection either.
 I've been tempted to shave it again.............

(which I have not done in forever! pffft..what for!?)

But there's a problem with that...I can't see it anymore. Ok..not exactly true, but REACHING it to shave would be a struggle.

(remember..fat southern women here..mmk)

I'm not that limber anymore. Nope. Not even. Not gonna try either. I'd be sore for days from the stretching, grunting and groaning just trying to reach everywhere!
This 'itching' comes in stages too, much like the power surges. One day you will, one day you won't. One minute you will, one minute you won't.
Just so you'll know, it doesn't only itch there either. Wherever you may have hair growth, you will have itch. It seems the more hair, the more intense the itch. Go figure.

I'm beginning to think this is just a different form of chinese water torture. Uhmmhmm. Yep.
You can bathe, and scrub, powder and puff and it will not go away. Not until it's damned good and ready.

I'm lucky though. I'm home alone a lot so scratching where I itch is a given. Just remember to cut your nails.... short.


The Crone of Crotch Itch

Sage

Siberia here I come...

You know, I'm not sure where to begin this post.

I woke this morning, a little earlier then my normal time

(this 5 a.m. crap is for the birds)
And again, I was mad as hell. I had a reason this morning though...the Dementor.

(like there COULD be any other reason)

Let me explain:
Our weather, for the past 3 days has been glorious. Mid 70's during the day and into the lower 50's at night.

(Heck it even got to 45 one night..wohoo!)

Now, for a Crone who is always hot, what does this mean?
It means EVERYTHING!
All the windows were opened, the fans were blowing..ESPECIALLY at night bringing in all that cold air upon my over-heated, fat, southern powdered ass..I was in my element! I was actually sleeping better!
And then...........
It happened..........
The Dementor, upon wakening this morning decided he was 'cold' and turned off my fan. Turned off my coolness..in essence..turning off my sleep!
After he left for work, I woke. Not because of a noise, not because it was time, not because of anything other then..I was hot..I was sweating.
Something in the room had changed and I KNEW IT!
I sat bolt upright in the bed and peered into the darkness of the room..listening, like a puppy with their ears up, head cocked to the side.
AHAH! My fan was no longer pushing the chilly night air into the room. WTH?
The first words out of my mouth were "I'll be damned...he turned off my fan! ASSHOLE!..Just because YOU are cold does not mean you can take away my peace and tranquility!"

Out of the bed I came, and turned the fan back on just for spite. Needless to say, it was for my entertainment only.  It was 5 a.m., The Dementor had been gone for an hour.  He usually leaves at 4 a.m.
But I was awake now..sweating, in need of a bathroom. So here I sit, typing away, telling the world my woes. (shrug) what else are you gonna do at 6am in the morning. It's still dark out!

So, I woke on a bad note cussing the Dementor. I sure hope things get better.

(what a way to start the day huh?)

Will these hot flashes ever end?  I could be sitting in the middle of Siberia, naked and alone and still be sweating and cussing somebody!
 I had an elderly women once tell me I'd have the flashes for the rest of my life.
My question is..will I? Should I trust what she says, I mean..she was well into her 70's..so she's been through this already.
It is the voice of experience speaking when someone in their 70's tells you something you know.

(ohhhh puuuhleease say it isn't so!) 

This may well be my last post for the next week or so. I'll be leaving on Tuesday or Wednesday for a weeks vacation. With friends. Camping. In all the glorious chillyness. Yep..in a tent. Around a campfire.
I'm taking my Japanese hand fan with me.


The Crone of Cyber Siberia

Sage