Remember local fairs and Harvest Home festivals where the men would test their strength, the women would compete with pies and home canned goods and the children would enter their prized pigs. This was the beginning of it all. This was when the preparations for that final festival would begin. Ohh how I miss those days. Welcome to Lughnasadh, the beginning of Harvest Home.
Tomorrow is Lughnasadh or Lammas, the first of three Harvest festivals, with the other two being Mabon (or Autmnal equinox) and Samhain (Halloween). So what do you plan on doing?
Lammas literally means 'loaf mass'. Breads were baked, feasts were tended to and thanks were given for the bounty of the harvest. In some traditions this was a festival that lasted 30 days, the 15 days before Aug. 1st. and the 15 days after. In Ireland, known as Lughnasadh, this was a day of 'gaming' and contests, first harvests as well as a fire celebration of the Sun God Lugh.
I can honestly say it's too dang hot here to be dancing round a fire!
For today's modern pagan, this day is still held in honor as many families choose to have family reunions and gatherings. Even the Christian church uses this day as a day to bless the fields.
A simple way to celebrate this holiday is to bake some bread, cake or even muffins! Corn is a bigger deal in the U.S. then wheat so consider making some cornbread! (add cheese and jalapenos too!)
Or you can always just 'eat' some instead of baking it!
Have a meal with family and friends and keep it simple. Hot dogs, corn muffins and ice cream to cool everyone off would be a fabulous thing to do.
Don't make celebrations so 'by the book' that they are not enjoyable. This was a festival to revel in, much of the physical hard work for a long winters survival was now over. There was food from the mother to eat and save by. Our ancestors were glad of this, they cooked, baked and reveled in it. So should you!
Since it is so hot here in the south that even dancing round a fire at midnight would bring chaos to a heat flashing crone we will be celebrating with pizza, cake and ice cream at noon tomorrow! (we are combining this with my daughters 27th birthday) Tomorrow night I do plan on baking some corn muffins and sugar pumpkins as part of my celebration meal.
Don't forget to honer the earth mother for the food she has provided, the womb in which she grew it and know that she is getting ready for a rest until next year when she will birth again food which sustains us.
HAPPY LUGHNASADH!
The Crone of Corn muffins and Pumpkin
Sage
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Muffin Tops and more
The Dementor and I went to town yesterday to do some shopping and general running about.
It was not pretty.
I do so hate to shop with the Dementor, he's sullen and always questioning what I buy. If it's an extra dollar, he's bitchin'. I repeat, I hate to shop with my Dementor.
Did you know Dementors are also misers? Oh yes, never doubt that. Cheap, pinch-fist, penny pincher, scrooge, skinflint, cheapskate, tightwad and all the other words you can think of to indicate someone who does not want to spend money, bitches when you do spend money and questions everything you spend money on. NOTE: Everything YOU spend money on..but not him. Some days it's worse.
Anyway
We did our running about and stopped off for lunch at a local fast food chain. After ordering our meal (having to correct the young lady preparing it, twice), we sat down to eat. Nearing the end of our lunch another young lady came into the establishment and walked up to the counter to order her lunch. At first I didn't notice her, but when she pranced about in front of the counter long enough, I glanced up as she was walking by.
SHOCK! (blink, blink)
Now, I've heard of being "melted and poured into your jeans" and I've heard of 'skinny jeans', not to mention a few other terms to describe 'tight fitting' jeans, but this girl took the cake.
I don't know how she was breathing.
Not only were her jeans so tight (you couldn't have fit 'air' between her and the material) but she was 'puffin' over the top much more then the average 'muffin top' ..it was more like a pound cake top.
She was bulging all the way to her neck! I'm sure she had to lay on the bed and suck it in for an hour before she got those things zipped up..I kid you not!
Her top..it was designed to be as thin, as see through, as fall off the shoulders as it could be and still classified as a top.
You could tell all these clothes were 'new', not garbage clothes, not rag bag clothes...but new. Designer type.
Sad part about all this, she thought she looked good! You could tell by the way she was prancing. Trust me when I tell you it was far from attractive.
It hit me like a brick shit house at that point.
WHY is it, boys and men wear clothes so big and low, 'bustin' a sag' as they call it showing their underwear to the world ..
(I've seen it bad enough that they are wearing a belt around the top of their thighs to hold up their pants) ..
but girls and women do exactly the opposite and wear clothes so tight they can barely breath??
You wanna talk about major cameltoe going on here..
WHERE do they learn their fashions sense?
Cuz they missed the boat!
Why in the world do they believe this is attractive? Who has mislead our youth today? WTH?
I've said it before and I'll say it again, (just so you guys will KNOW)
I am a fat southern women, but there is no way in this world I would go out of my house looking like this girl did yesterday. For starters, I'm not going to be 'uncomfortable' for the sake of anyone much less a 'fashion statement'...piss on that. Secondly.. I like to breathe thankyouverymuch.
I'll say it again, like I've said a thousand times "Where are we going and why are we in the handbasket?"
Nuff said.
The Crone of Fat jeans
Sage
It was not pretty.
I do so hate to shop with the Dementor, he's sullen and always questioning what I buy. If it's an extra dollar, he's bitchin'. I repeat, I hate to shop with my Dementor.
Did you know Dementors are also misers? Oh yes, never doubt that. Cheap, pinch-fist, penny pincher, scrooge, skinflint, cheapskate, tightwad and all the other words you can think of to indicate someone who does not want to spend money, bitches when you do spend money and questions everything you spend money on. NOTE: Everything YOU spend money on..but not him. Some days it's worse.
Anyway
We did our running about and stopped off for lunch at a local fast food chain. After ordering our meal (having to correct the young lady preparing it, twice), we sat down to eat. Nearing the end of our lunch another young lady came into the establishment and walked up to the counter to order her lunch. At first I didn't notice her, but when she pranced about in front of the counter long enough, I glanced up as she was walking by.
SHOCK! (blink, blink)
Now, I've heard of being "melted and poured into your jeans" and I've heard of 'skinny jeans', not to mention a few other terms to describe 'tight fitting' jeans, but this girl took the cake.
I don't know how she was breathing.
Not only were her jeans so tight (you couldn't have fit 'air' between her and the material) but she was 'puffin' over the top much more then the average 'muffin top' ..it was more like a pound cake top.
She was bulging all the way to her neck! I'm sure she had to lay on the bed and suck it in for an hour before she got those things zipped up..I kid you not!
Her top..it was designed to be as thin, as see through, as fall off the shoulders as it could be and still classified as a top.
You could tell all these clothes were 'new', not garbage clothes, not rag bag clothes...but new. Designer type.
Sad part about all this, she thought she looked good! You could tell by the way she was prancing. Trust me when I tell you it was far from attractive.
It hit me like a brick shit house at that point.
WHY is it, boys and men wear clothes so big and low, 'bustin' a sag' as they call it showing their underwear to the world ..
(I've seen it bad enough that they are wearing a belt around the top of their thighs to hold up their pants) ..
but girls and women do exactly the opposite and wear clothes so tight they can barely breath??
You wanna talk about major cameltoe going on here..
WHERE do they learn their fashions sense?
Cuz they missed the boat!
Why in the world do they believe this is attractive? Who has mislead our youth today? WTH?
I've said it before and I'll say it again, (just so you guys will KNOW)
I am a fat southern women, but there is no way in this world I would go out of my house looking like this girl did yesterday. For starters, I'm not going to be 'uncomfortable' for the sake of anyone much less a 'fashion statement'...piss on that. Secondly.. I like to breathe thankyouverymuch.
I'll say it again, like I've said a thousand times "Where are we going and why are we in the handbasket?"
Nuff said.
The Crone of Fat jeans
Sage
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
They only come at night
NOT TRUE! Ok, Sometimes I get confused but it's ok. Let's discuss Night Sweats.
Every article or post I've seen on menopausal women separate 'hot flashes' and 'night sweats'. Why is that? They are not any different. They are one in the same thing, just one happens during the day and one happens at night.
So why do they categorize them differently? It makes no sense to me but hey, if they want to add another item on the long list of symptoms, go right ahead.
Symptoms? They say this like it's a bad thing or that you're deathly ill with some mysterious other worldly disease! This is a natural process.
(or so I keep telling myself)
This is mother natures way of telling you your breeding days are over!
(not to mention a few other things!)
Quite honestly, my breeding days were over YEARS ago. My children are 30 (come November) and 27 (this week). When my youngest was 3 the hubby had his..let's just say he was 'fixed'. Many years later when my youngest was 11 *I* was fixed. Hence I have not been able to breed in over 16 years. I beat mother nature to the punch.
Nuff said on that.
Back to 'night sweats'..otherwise known as 'power surges when the lights are out'........:)
These are no different then the ones you have during the day save the fact that it will bring you out of a sound sleep. You will start tossing and turning, rolling and moaning. You'll wake to find you are burning up and sweating like apig old crone. (do pigs really sweat?)
You'll fling the covers off and wish the hell it was snowing in your room.
Sleep? No such animal. You'll punch the pillow as if it was your enemy, and try to lay back down, then you'll throw it away from you it cuz it's hot. You'll roll to a cooler section of the bed and it will heat up faster then a nuclear meltdown. To top it all off, you'll have to pee.
Just for a moment you'll think you've already done that because your sheets are soaked.
You're too tired to get up and change your sheets, matter of fact your too tired to get up to pee, so you'll lay there, hoping the urge will go away.
Nay nay, not so. Mother nature says "GO!" and out the bed you come.
If you'll remember, back in my first post (who I am) I mentioned powder? Oh yes, now's the time. As you sit on the throne you will start to cool down. The urge to take a shower will be high on your list of priorities right now, but depending on the time, ignore this and instead reach for "THE PUFF".
(I urge each and every one of you to purchase powder and a puff. Comes in it's own little box, with puff and will be worth it's weight in gold to you. I refill my little box with basic baby powder)
THE PUFF will become part of your daily routine. A blessing that you will partake in more then once a day! Powder is magical!
Rise from your throne oh queen of the puff and proceed to douse yourself in the magical benefits! Puff under the boobs, in the pits and between the legs. Lift up any 'sagging' places (fluffy areas) and puff away.
(and trust me, I have plenty of fluffy areas!)
Stand there and feel the glory of it all, the wonder of powder!
Now you can try to go back to bed, and sometimes you will succeed in sleep, sometimes not so much but I can guarantee you this..you will feel MUCH MUCH better. Like a silken sweat ladenpig old crone at least!
Enjoy the puff it has magical properties.
The Crone of the PUFF & fluffy areas,
Sage
PS: This post was brought to you by a sweat laden, fluffy crone (But I'm SILKEN!) who could not go back to sleep and rose at 4am. Sucks man.
Every article or post I've seen on menopausal women separate 'hot flashes' and 'night sweats'. Why is that? They are not any different. They are one in the same thing, just one happens during the day and one happens at night.
So why do they categorize them differently? It makes no sense to me but hey, if they want to add another item on the long list of symptoms, go right ahead.
Symptoms? They say this like it's a bad thing or that you're deathly ill with some mysterious other worldly disease! This is a natural process.
(or so I keep telling myself)
This is mother natures way of telling you your breeding days are over!
(not to mention a few other things!)
Quite honestly, my breeding days were over YEARS ago. My children are 30 (come November) and 27 (this week). When my youngest was 3 the hubby had his..let's just say he was 'fixed'. Many years later when my youngest was 11 *I* was fixed. Hence I have not been able to breed in over 16 years. I beat mother nature to the punch.
Nuff said on that.
Back to 'night sweats'..otherwise known as 'power surges when the lights are out'........:)
These are no different then the ones you have during the day save the fact that it will bring you out of a sound sleep. You will start tossing and turning, rolling and moaning. You'll wake to find you are burning up and sweating like a
You'll fling the covers off and wish the hell it was snowing in your room.
Sleep? No such animal. You'll punch the pillow as if it was your enemy, and try to lay back down, then you'll throw it away from you it cuz it's hot. You'll roll to a cooler section of the bed and it will heat up faster then a nuclear meltdown. To top it all off, you'll have to pee.
Just for a moment you'll think you've already done that because your sheets are soaked.
You're too tired to get up and change your sheets, matter of fact your too tired to get up to pee, so you'll lay there, hoping the urge will go away.
Nay nay, not so. Mother nature says "GO!" and out the bed you come.
If you'll remember, back in my first post (who I am) I mentioned powder? Oh yes, now's the time. As you sit on the throne you will start to cool down. The urge to take a shower will be high on your list of priorities right now, but depending on the time, ignore this and instead reach for "THE PUFF".
(I urge each and every one of you to purchase powder and a puff. Comes in it's own little box, with puff and will be worth it's weight in gold to you. I refill my little box with basic baby powder)
THE PUFF will become part of your daily routine. A blessing that you will partake in more then once a day! Powder is magical!
Rise from your throne oh queen of the puff and proceed to douse yourself in the magical benefits! Puff under the boobs, in the pits and between the legs. Lift up any 'sagging' places (fluffy areas) and puff away.
(and trust me, I have plenty of fluffy areas!)
Stand there and feel the glory of it all, the wonder of powder!
Now you can try to go back to bed, and sometimes you will succeed in sleep, sometimes not so much but I can guarantee you this..you will feel MUCH MUCH better. Like a silken sweat laden
Enjoy the puff it has magical properties.
The Crone of the PUFF & fluffy areas,
Sage
PS: This post was brought to you by a sweat laden, fluffy crone (But I'm SILKEN!) who could not go back to sleep and rose at 4am. Sucks man.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Hair you are!
On one of my recent posts, I mentioned 'face hair'. Now, on the hope that mother nature does not hear me, let's talk about wild hair growth.
Yep, I said that, the dreaded 'stray' wild hair.
I feel it safe to say, I don't CURRENTLY have the problem of the random wild facial hair.
(crossing herself, lighting an incense and hopping on one foot in hopes that mother nature will not make her sorry and add the 'wild hair curse' to her plight!)
HOWEVER!
Where I do have the random wild hair is on my leg, the upper back of my leg to be specific.
I guess there are some things you should know before I delve into this topic. I don't shave the top of my legs.
(matter of fact, I try not to shave the bottoms either!.......shhhh..don't tell anyone k?)
Ok..now you know, I don't shave the top of my legs...and you may be asking 'why'?
Reason is, I have very little hair there. Mind you, when I was a teenager it was a different story.
(I had my share AND someone else's!)
That upper leg hair faded as I got older (and I was glad of it!) By the time I was in my mid 30's it was near gone or gone enough for me not to concern myself too often with trying to eradicate it.
(I very rarely concern myself with eradicating any of my hair nowadays! except by fire apparently!)
SO, ..can someone explain to me why for the last several years, I have found the random wild "LONG" single black hair on the back of my upper legs? WTH!
You know how it happens.
You may be putting lotion on, or shoot even just rubbing your hands along the leg due to an itch and you feel 'something'. You think it might be a hair from your head that got caught in your fingers or the lotion so you grab and pick for all your worth to get it off you and it won't come! You pull harder....OUCH!
With complete awe you realize..it's attached! You stretch it out and 'oh my gawd'........it's HUGE long!
(blink, blink)
This one hair is about 3 or 4 inches long! (WTH?) and you wonder why you didn't notice it two or three days ago!
(I think it's some sort of magic and grows overnight!)
I yank it out, examine it closely to see if I can spy any magical appearance, I mean, it's not sparkly or anything!
(Just imagine, if it were magical....I'd yank all the hair off me!)
(sigh) It's just a hair, a long one, black and it was floating around back there for however long and you didn't know it?
That's embarrassing.
Crone of the one hair leg
Sage
Yep, I said that, the dreaded 'stray' wild hair.
I feel it safe to say, I don't CURRENTLY have the problem of the random wild facial hair.
(crossing herself, lighting an incense and hopping on one foot in hopes that mother nature will not make her sorry and add the 'wild hair curse' to her plight!)
HOWEVER!
Where I do have the random wild hair is on my leg, the upper back of my leg to be specific.
I guess there are some things you should know before I delve into this topic. I don't shave the top of my legs.
(matter of fact, I try not to shave the bottoms either!.......shhhh..don't tell anyone k?)
Ok..now you know, I don't shave the top of my legs...and you may be asking 'why'?
Reason is, I have very little hair there. Mind you, when I was a teenager it was a different story.
(I had my share AND someone else's!)
That upper leg hair faded as I got older (and I was glad of it!) By the time I was in my mid 30's it was near gone or gone enough for me not to concern myself too often with trying to eradicate it.
(I very rarely concern myself with eradicating any of my hair nowadays! except by fire apparently!)
SO, ..can someone explain to me why for the last several years, I have found the random wild "LONG" single black hair on the back of my upper legs? WTH!
You know how it happens.
You may be putting lotion on, or shoot even just rubbing your hands along the leg due to an itch and you feel 'something'. You think it might be a hair from your head that got caught in your fingers or the lotion so you grab and pick for all your worth to get it off you and it won't come! You pull harder....OUCH!
With complete awe you realize..it's attached! You stretch it out and 'oh my gawd'........it's HUGE long!
(blink, blink)
This one hair is about 3 or 4 inches long! (WTH?) and you wonder why you didn't notice it two or three days ago!
(I think it's some sort of magic and grows overnight!)
I yank it out, examine it closely to see if I can spy any magical appearance, I mean, it's not sparkly or anything!
(Just imagine, if it were magical....I'd yank all the hair off me!)
(sigh) It's just a hair, a long one, black and it was floating around back there for however long and you didn't know it?
That's embarrassing.
Crone of the one hair leg
Sage
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