What shall we talk of today?
How about cabinets that open by themselves?
Oh yes. Here's my story:
For the past few weeks we have had a visitor by the name of Pixie. Pixie is a very large, very fluffy, cabinet loving cat that belongs to my son and DIL. (we are temporarily cat-sitting) Pixie's love for cabinets runs deep. She can easily open any cabinet door and enter in, hiding from all the world in her own personal wooden cave...for days. Matter of fact, she went messing for the first two days she was here. We searched high and low, finally finding her in the bathroom cabinet, sulking and lounging among the unused bathmats, miffed for being brought here without her permission!
Now, I cannot say that I take it to memory (especially a menohell rattled memory at that) that she loves being inside a cabinet. For certain, I had totally forgotten that little quirk of Pixies..indeed I had.
Picture in your mind, the wee hours of morning and I'm up and getting ready for work. I rise at 5, start my coffee and hit the shower. Dressed, pressed and groomed I emerge from the master bath and pour myself a cup of java. Now, I'm not sure how many of you know this, but coffee..well let's just say, a cup of hot coffee first thing in the morning will get you 'moving' things right along in the toilet department mmmk? Halfway through my first cup, the urge hits me. I head for the smaller bathroom on the opposite end of the house as it is closer to the dinning room where I sat leisurely sipping. Once inside of course, I drop pants, squat on the seat and commence to the job at hand.
I see a movement out of the corner of my eye. Jerking my head to the left I realize the cabinet door is opening by itself. Now, ladies, I don't care what you are doing or what you may have still hanging about (if you get my drift) but if you see your bathroom cabinet door begin to open of it's own accord right next to where you are squatted you are NOT going to stay there! OH NO!!
Before my knees could function, my heart leaped a time or two as I gasped at the assuming spectral haunted cabinet. As the door widened my knees took to working and I jumped up from my peaceful squat.
(It's a good thing nothing was still hanging about ya know.)
It dawned on me in a mere flash of a second that the cabinet was between me and the only escape route I had, the door. Running was not an option unless I wanted to take the chance and run by whatever may be causing the cabinet door to move on it's own and that was not something I wanted to do!
A few more pauses a few more heart flutters and I began to see a dark hairy object emerging from the opening...I gasped again. I did not know what was materializing from my cabinet! Could it be a black ghost of the night? An evil force in the guise of a small black shadow or perchance a black fox, large fuzzy rodent or possibly even a possum had gotten in my house! WTH was it!! I stood against the wall squished against the tub, pants to my ankles and waited..and waited.
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What a predicament huh? Can you imagine what the paramedics would think or say "Well sir, she seems to have suffered a heart attack with her pants at her ankles..it looks like something scared her before she could finish up the job." EGADS!>
The door creeped open further and further..and finally..I heard the faintest of noises..the noise a sleepy Pixie cat makes. A pixie who is taking her sweet ass time about getting up, now looking up at me with the most evil of eyes ..because I guess. I woke her from her cave of wondrous sleep.
Honestly I had forgotten about Pixies penchant for cabinet dwelling, truley..I had forgotten about Pixie!
This is one of those instances in life we have all experienced. That instant when you are relieved as all hell, but want to shake the shit out of the cause of your distress. It's a love hate thing. Really.
Oh..and yes, I did get to finish up the job I came in to do..matter of fact..ever heard the term "scared the shit outta me?" ..yeah..uhuh.
Well, the last few weeks have been good. I'm still working and of course, am loving my job. For the first time in a long time, I enjoy going to work. That says alot.
I do have a question to all you crones or wanna be crones out there.
WHY oh WHY do men think we (females in general) are stupid? That our ideas are unworthy and wrong?
Here's a perfect example: When we were housing the new rabbits we have acquired I said to Dementor.."we have to cover a good part of the bottom for the winter so the cold air doesn't come up from underneath. When I had my last rabbits, I always used a piece of roofing tin."
His comment: "I'll cut some wood to fit the bottoms and we can use that."
My reply: "Rabbits chew wood and what was wrong with using the tin?"
Of course, he gave no reason just shrugging and going on about his business.
(Just so you'll know, the main reason I always used tin was ..it was easy to clean. Once every few days I'd take it out, dump it, spray it off..let it warm in the sun and put it back in the cage. Easy enough right? Right? )
Did I mention this? Yes.
Was he in agreement with that? No.
Did I argue, or mention any negative effects the wood may have? No.
Was I to going let him figure it out on his own? You betchya!
I have long since learned not to say anything 'negative' to him for fear
of the volcano on his head erupting. It's not a pretty site. So I said
nothing about his choice of 'wood'. I let it be. Soon enough he would
learn.
He cut the wood to fit either side of the cage, leaving a gap between the two. It's been in place since we got the bunnies (about 4 days ago)
Today just before he was leaving for work, I saunter out to the rabbit cages. My intent? To add more hay so they could huddle in it for warmth during the night and 'shake the shit off the wood'. (which by the way are soaked with bunny pee and are now stinking) HIS idea was better then mine right? sure sure sure
Dementor comes over as I'm starting this process. He sees the wood is wet with bunny pee, he can now smell the wood ..and says 'wow, you can really smell it, it stinks?" <blink blink>
My reply?..I so wanted to gloat..but..I simply said
"That's why I always used the tin, it doesn't soak up urine like wood and it's easy to wash." And continued on with my work.
He sulked..and in a none too pleased tone "well, we'll just replace it with tin then I guess!" And walked away, through the gate and off to work. Speeding down the road as he went.
I believe he actually got pissed because his idea (which he considered much superior to mine), failed.
Men are such sissy boys..pussies. They cannot handle defeat. Ever. (especially by a women!)
This is the very reason a women has not been put in for president. Men cannot handle defeat to a women. Most women could probably figure out a way to balance the budget, get out of debt and buy things we need at a discount for gawds sake..we do it all the time!
And on that note...I will say g'night. Another day at work tomorrow, then again on Saturday. Thanksgiving is upon us soon..our harvests are all in according to the season and Yule is close behind. Luckily all my shopping is done ..now I just have to wrap everything! Time to snuggle under the blankets!
The Crone of Pixie Pranks,
Sage
